Post # 1
Like many, my husband and I are planning visitors for the upcoming holidays and I’m wondering what you consider to be a reasonable length of stay for guests at your own home? I have the guests are like fish mentality…after 3 days they start to stink. I feel like 3 days is a visit, 5 days is a stay, 7 days is an extended stay, and anything longer is an imposition. When I’m a guest in someone’s home I recognize that it in some way impacts their work life and their home life for that time and I don’t take their hospitality for granted. My husband is of the more the merrier, the longer the better, and who cares if they come with a sense of entitlement mindset (of course he’s not the one cooking/cleaning up after everyone). How long do you typically think is enough time to get a good visit in while still being respectful of the hosts’ time and other responsibilities?
Post # 3
Less than a week for sure.
Post # 4
I think this totally depends on who you are staying with and if you invited yourself or they invited you. We stay a week with my parents/ILs and I don’t think about it because when we do it is because they asked us there. Anyone else I would say 3 days at most.
Post # 5
Depends on who it is. When my parents visit, the house ends up painted and remodeled. When his parents come, I cook Thanksgiving dinner for them and the other kids they invited on their own. A week with my parents is fine, 2 days is too long for the IL’s.
Post # 6
I’ve noticed that the sweet spot for us with our family is about 4 days, 3 nights. Longer than that and people start getting cranky.
Post # 7
3-5 days. I start to get cranky after a while LOL I like my space.
Post # 8
@ShellyT: There isn’t an option for none of the above? Ha. I don’t like people staying in my home, nor do I like staying at someone’s home for more than a couple hours, let alone overnight. Even family. Maybe I’m weird though, I don’t know. If I HAD to do it, overnight and that’s it!!
Post # 9
The rule at my house is unless it is parents, people get two nights. We have people want to stay all the time though since we live in NYC, everyone wants to come visit and have a vacation. We had to make a rule just to keep the guest room from being a hotel.
Post # 10
My limit is 2-3 nights and then I start to get cranky and want my alone time. I am not a fan of sleeping over other peoples houses either unless it’s family and there is a reason. If they are staying for longer and have their own agenda (I.e We don’t have to entertain the whole time, they can stay for however long they like!)
We do not live near our families so we break my 2 night rule (for Christmas we stay at our parents for at least a week, week and a half). I don’t go crazy then because we are doing our own thing.
Post # 11
@JemmaWRX: +1. I personally couldn’t deal with anything longer than 24 hours—- I would feel like my space was invaded.
Post # 12
depends who it is but generally somewhere between 3-5 days is tolerable
Post # 13
Depends on a couple factors
A) How long the travel time is. I travel to see my cousins and its a 7 hour drive. If I drove for 7 hours, stayed one day (rested) and got in the car again, I probably would NEVER see her because the drive time doesn’t make the visit time worth it. When I visit her I stay for a week. Thats enough time to rest up from the drive, enjoy some time with her and the kids and be ready for the long haul back. (Even though we add food/dishes to her task list, she gets a break from the kids because we play with them constantly. She gets to sleep more and she takes the time to call people she can’t normally talk to on the phone because the kids interupt her every 5 secs).
B) How often I see someone. My cousin I see once a year, so I want to spend a week when I see her. Family that I see once a month or more, a weekend or a day is fine.
C) How helpful vs. not helpful someone is. When my BF comes she recks my house and spreads her stuff EVERYWHERE. And she loses stuff too so I have to mail it back. So no longer than a week please. I have another friend that will come stay a month or more at a time. He feeds our pets, medicates our pets, walks our pets, cleans litterboxes, does dishes and helps with anything we ask of him. In exchange he gets all his meals free and gets to get out of his parents house for awhile. He’s always welcome whenever he wants to come for however he wants to come and he’s honorary family. Well so is my BF but even though I love them both, one makes me what to pull my hair out the other is a major stress reducer. So that’s a factor.
Post # 14
I will also add that everyone who stays with us for more than two days offers to help with dishes, cooking etc. If his family is unwilling to help with the additional mess and so is your husband, well then their visit time SHOULD be reduced. If they want to stay longer both them and your husband should help out.
Post # 15
One night. I need my space!
Post # 16
I think it depends on a couple of things. If they are coming from far away a longer visit is okay. If they help around the house- longer is okay. It also depends on your house. We don’t have a “guest bathroom” so it can be a little more difficult because of that.