(Closed) Holidays

posted 9 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes!  Most people need a holiday from their holiday!

Post # 4
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Holidays are hard! My fiance is from Germany, so traveling home for him is quite difficult, not to mention how different a lot of our traditions are (especially for Christmas!). I naturally always get Thanksgiving with my family (as they don’t have it), but don’t want to give up Christmas every year. Last year was the first we spent with my family, and it was wonderful. We’ll probably do a year on/year off kind of thing in the end and have agreed that when we’re in America, we’ll celebrate American traditions, and vice versa.

I do have a few friends that are totally unwilling to give up their holidays with their parents so the first holiday they’ll spend together is one where they’ll be married. I can’t imagine this as even without a marriage license, my fiance is my family and I couldn’t imagine it without him. 

Post # 5
Member
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’re in the same boat trying to figure this all out and our parents live two hours apart, and the closest parent to us is a two-hour drive. Since my family doesn’t really do anything for Easter anymore, I don’t have to worry about this holiday, but we do have to plan out Thanksgiving and Christmas. What we did last year will probably be what we do from here on out – Thanksgiving mid-day meal with one family and dinner with the other, and whichever family gets dinner with us gets us for the long weekend after Thanksgiving. Then, the family who only got us for the mid-day meal for Thanksgiving gets us Christmas day and for two days after that. The family that got us for most of Thanksgiving will get us for Dec. 23 and 24 to celebrate Christmas. The next year, we switch the families around so no one is upset that they consistently miss out on Christmas day with us. Does that make sense? It’s a pain in the butt and everyone is still a little bummed, but this way everyone sees us at least a little bit.

Post # 6
Member
6010 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

My mom actually gave us some really great relationship advice when my Fi and I got engaged.  She told me not to worry about hurting their feelings if I didn’t come home for holidays anymore.  She said that my Fi and I had to start making holidays about us and that we needed to create our own holiday traditions.  This was the first Christmas we spent alone together, and it was really fun!  We saw both of our families after the holidays, but it was important to us that we start separating ourselves from our parents and make our own family and family traditions. 

It’s kind of a hard balance, especially since my family lives only a few hours away so we can see them more often.  But I think it’s important at some point (before we have kids!) for us to make our parents understand that we have a new family and that’s who will come first during the holidays.  We try to just balance our visits with our families so we see them equally, but we agree that now holidays are reserved for just us.

Post # 7
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

We don’t really have a set routine as to what holidays are for which side, etc.  His parents live in town and my parents are 2000 miles away (but travel  here a lot).  Within the next couple of years my parents will be here, so then we might just start over with the tradition things and have group outings 😉  I also like to travel, not to see family so it will be nice to have everyone in one place, so we can use our vacation time for things we want to do rather than spend a week with family at the same place we have seen for 20+ years…

For Easter everyone will be here and I can’t wait.  I personally love entertaining so for me its the more the merrier.

Post # 8
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Oh man, I bet this is tough for a lot of people.

We’re both REALLY close to our extended families and see them all the time.  So for holidays like Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving, we mostly just got lucky in that our family plans don’t overlap too much.  My family eats Thanksgiving dinner early in the day, 1:00 or so, and his doesn’t until 5 or 6.  We have to drive about an hour and a half to get there, but it works.  Same for Christmas and Easter.  We each had to sacrifice different parts of Christmas festivities, but we’re goign to just go every other year with HOW we split it up (Eve vs day).  

I think it’s working out generally but yeah, it really does make for one SUPER tiring holiday each time.

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

This is not a big issue for us, thankfully. My parents are an hour and a half away and his are about 1000 miles away. My FI also has to work Thanksgiving morning and has to travel/work on Christmas if it falls on a Saturday or Sunday (but I go with 🙂 ). I ususally go to my parents or extended family’s house on Thanksgiving morning and then he comes when he can. This year he came on Christmas eve and stayed all day Christmas. We try to visit his family around Easter and then go on vacation with them in the summer. So it evens out pretty well.

Post # 10
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I hate dealing with the holidays! It is always a nightmare, and we have yet to really figure it out. The worst is Christmas though… here is how it ususally pans out:

1. Wake up around 6am…head to my parents house to open presents and eat breakfast.

2. Leave around 10am to go to his Dad’s house to open presents.

3. Leave just before noon to go to his paternal grandmother’s house for lunch and to open presents.

4. Leave around 3pm to go to his maternal grandparent’s house. Eat dinner here and open more presents.

5. Head to his mother’s house around 6pm to open her presents and to have dessert.

6. Go home around 10pm.

7. Sleep for 2 days!

Post # 11
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Our holidays are so stressful and usually involve at least 3 big dinners! This Easter though, we are staying home because FI has exams and can’t swing getting out of town. So at least we will be able to start some new traditions with just the 2 of us!

But if we HAD gone home this weekend, we would have had a dinner Saturday night with FMIL’s side, dinner Sunday afternoon for FFIL’s side, and then dinner Sunday night with my family, before turning around to drive home 5 hours to make it to work for Monday morning. Ca-razy!

At least we’ll be saving up all those calories by not going!

Post # 12
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

For the past couple years we’ve been alternating holidays. IE Last year was Christmas with my family so this year is Christmas with his family. Thanksgiving last year was with his and this year with mine. For us holidays are all about family…but I’m sure once we have kids plans will have to change a little so we can start our own family traditions.

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