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Yeah - I've been with him a looooooooong time (14 years - started young and in school, so here was no rush for me then ). He told me years ago his favorite holiday was Halloween, and my birthday is mid-March, so I've had to try really hard not to expect anything for the 6 mo. gamut of holidays, as even a thoughtful Christmas gift is a disappointment if you let yourself want an engagement.
I'm kinda not so much worried at this point if I'll have any good news over the holidays as to whether I'll ahve it ever.
This year we've got 6 couples who have just gotten engaged, are about to, or are having their weddings this year. He looks at me to see how upset I am, but has no plans for making anyhitng "forever", and we've had some arguments over it. I'm having a really rough time right now. I want to not care anymore, but it's hard when so many other girls are worthy and I'm not.
There was a good post in "Waiting" yesterday about a letter to people who ask about whtether you're engaged, unaware of how painful it is for you. Maybe you can pass it on somehow to those who bug you without realizing it makes you feel anxious:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/an-open-letter-to-those-who-know-a-waiting-woman
I completely know how you feel. My boyfriend and I have been talking a LOT about it and I really feel like it will happen around the holidays, but who knows? We are taking vacation together around Thanksgiving, and our three-year anniversary is about a week before Christmas. Those are both perfect opportunities! But I don't want to get my hopes up (well, they already ARE), because if it does not happen I will be crushed!
Yep! Been thinking about that all day actually. I love the holiday season and to get engaged would just be wonderful, so we can share the excitement with our families! I would also be dissappointed if New Years day rolls around and he still hasnt asked!
A bit anxious just because the So told me a proposal could happen as early as December so I'll be a bit nervous, but I think its not coming that soon he's jjust trying to through me off
@mispriss1215: yeah, I'm going to try not to let it bother me, but if by Midnight on New Year's Eve rolls around and nothing has happened, not sure how I'm going to feel...
@Isilme: Girl, you have some patience. I know that has to be really hard for you. Hopefully whenever he does it, it will really surprise you since he has decided to wait that long. Yeah, I read that letter a little while back and it is perfect--I'd love to show it to all of those ppl asking, haha!
I'm really hoping for a holiday proposal. in fact I've tried to convince myself it will happen around Christmas just so I shut up about it until then. When those holiday jewlery store ads start playing, I definitely will be glancing toward his side of the couch to try to read the reaction.
I feel like this upcoming holiday season would be a perfect time to do it. I mean, how many more diamond necklaces can he give me? Haha. But really, the last necklace he picked out for me was a gorgeous three stone. I would have loved to pop them out of the pendant into a three stone setting. In the long run, it's more affordable to buy a ring now than to keep buying *other* jewelry, right?
@yaneres -lol I do the same thing with the commercials! Or even billboards with rings on them, I look to see what he does and how he acts. Thats funny!
Oh, bees, as if the holiday triple threat isn't enough, my birthday is the day after Thanksgiving this year, so I'm especially anxious. I've actually been debating whether or not to bring it up now, or wait until after my birthday to say anything if it hasn't happened by then. I'm trying to be strong, but we'll see. I know for a fact, I probably won't make it to Christmas w/o opening my trap, muchless New Year's.
Here's a virtual toast to us keeping it together through the holidays, and hoping that some (lots) of us will no longer be waiting after the new year. Cheers!
I'm right there with all of you! The last couple times I brought the big E question up (the last times period, I hope, as I'm attempting to leave it be now), I was told that he has a plan and that I won't have to wait a lot longer. I also have NO sense that he's bought/looked for rings, because I don't think he's that sneaky, but you never know. We're spending Thanksgiving and pseudo-Christmas (the weekend before) with my family, then going down to Florida to spend Christmas with his family. If it doesn't happen by then, I know I'll be devastated - partly because I've been waiting so long and have run out of patience, and partly because I've had my mind set now on getting married next December, and if we get within a year and aren't engaged I'll feel like we need to push it back even further. Sometimes I just want to tell him that he doesn't need to plan something extravagant, because that's really not us and I just want to be engaged to him, but I know that would just frustrate him - he wants to plan something special. I just have to remind myself that in the end letting him do it his way will be so much more special for both of us.
I am hoping my bff will get engaged. She has been dating her guy for 4 years I think. I need someone to share my wedding goo with. I am seriously anxious for her.
I got engaged in Nov on our anniversary so I think it is the month to do it!
Ive had the Christmas dissapointment two years in a row now and it sucks! Even though its a really busy day it still makes you feel bad. Last year we had a budget on Christmas so when I got a practical and impersonal present it really hurt. I love that time of year its hard to hide the dissapointment when you hear about friends getting engaged!
I was disappointed last Christmas. This is our second Christmas where I'll be disappointed because of no ring, been together for 1yr and 9 months (I told him no Christmas Day proposals) but Christmas is my favorite time of the year. :(
I know some waiting bees would not like a proposal during the holidays, but I'm not one of them! I love this time of year as well, and nothing would please me more than to receive a ring and proposal on Christmas (plus it would save my guy a lot of money since I wouldn't need any other presents to satisfy me, lol). Here's to hoping and wishing and praying that this holiday season is the one for all of us!!!!!!
Yesss I am getting nervous about the holidays. I know for sure it won't be coming over thanskgiving. Already got confirmation from my future MOH who is coming over to stay with us (she texted SO asking if he had anything planned and he told her if he had, he would have told her) so that leaves Christmas, which would be great since we'd be around our families, New Years, and then our anniversary in late January. If it doesn't happen by our anni, I'm having a "talk" with him....we shall see!!
Ugh,I am hoping it does NOT happen on a holiday. He knows how I feel about that so I am hoping it happens after Christmas.
Starting right before Thanksgiving, we have our 5 year dating anniversary, then my 40th birthday, then Christmas and then New Years this year. I am hoping for a proposal on my birthday (we are going to NYC to celebrate) but I am just really hoping to get through the holidays without a melt-down!
Our 4 year anniversary is Christmas Eve. I know if it doesn't happen I will be crushed, and at the same time I know it probably won't happen. Things are crazy financially for us, and I know that is why he is waiting. He even has the darn ring, UGH!
Even though we agreed we wouldn't want to get engaged on a major holiday, I still would like to get engaged during the holiday season. It is such a happy time of year, and some of my fondest memories with him have been in the fall/winter. I know it won't happen until after January, but I still have ideas of when I'd like for it to happen. I told him I would love it if he stuck this on the tree for me to find: http://www.santasornamentshop.com/shopexd.asp?id=2492. He was just like "oh that's nice" haha.
@mispriss1215: me too with all the billboards and commercials!!!
I had just started to feel ok about not being engaged for the time being (with hopes that it would happen over the holdays) when just this weekend a couple who has been dating maybe a year just announced they are engaged. I had just told myself a few days ago that I really thought me and SO would be next in our group, but NOOOO.....
Hopefully he does it during or before the holidays or I may literally go insane. I don't feel like myself today, it's really hard to deal with. I wish I had ESP and could make him feel exactly what I'm feeling but I guess I'm just going to have to suffer in solitude. I thought maybe with Sweetest Day this weekend, maybe, just MAYBE he might do it, but of course not. Help me, Bees, I'm having a mini meltdown here!!!!!!!!
I really don't care when he does it as long as he does it. The upcoming months are filled with opportunities and I will honestly be crushed if he doesn't use one of them. Next week we're going on a week long vacation to Napa/SF. (I don't expect it then because I honestly don't think he's even gotten to the ring part yet.) Then it's the 3 year anniversary of us living together, then Thanksgiving, Christmas, NYE. I thought for sure he was going to do it over the holidays last year (5.5 years together at that point) and when he didn't that's when we had our first serious talk about it and I started officially "waiting". I'll have been waiting a year this coming NYE if he doesn't propose and we will have another serious talk if that happens. :\
I hate the anticipation of this time of year though. I just want to enjoy the holiday season for what it is and not get more and more depressed the more time that goes by that it doesn't happen.
Omg yes!
We keep talking about how much we want to be engaged by Christmas, but I am SO WORRIED it won’t happen. We have two main problems:
1) We can’t find a ring!!! We’ve been narrowing it down, but I haven’t had “the feeling” when I see the rings.
2) We can’t plan a vacation! We had this huge overseas trip planned and then his work told him “no” so now I'm dreading my proposal. I really just don’t want to wake up the next day and have to go to work or anything.
OMG!! I know exactly how you feel. I have been let down so many times that I try not to even think about it. I might not be able to go through it again this year. Thinking about calling it quits before the holidays. That probably won't happen but I don't know if I can bear going into 2011 not engaged.
He doesn’t know but last NY I overheard him telling his family member that “2010 is going to be a BIG year for us.” And he made THE EYES. So naturally I have been waiting since then. Thanksgiving is a special holiday for us and we have a big trip planned . . . so here’s hoping!
I don't care when it happens either but the holidays would be memorable. I doubt if he would do it on the actual day just because we will be around so much family and my BF is more low key. Although I could be wrong. His Mom and a few of his aunts will be here for Thanksgiving. Then his daughter will be here for Christmas. So we'll see. Preferably I would want it like the day or a couple days before a holiday just so I could share with everyone the celebration. Not necessarily the moment.
Well hopefully there will be some good news for at least a few of us! If any of you have seen the post about the Christmas Challenge and are doing it--good luck! I know it won't be easy but we can do it! It will be worth it in the end!! :)
Yes!
He has told me we'll get engaged before 2010 ends... GAH!
Do you want to have the same engagement date as so many people? I think it would be better to get engaged at am off time from holidays so it can more likely be -all- about you two :-)
@Marie10: That's exactly what my BF said. While I totally agree with it, it only means more waiting :(
I would be lying if I said I won't be disappointed if 2011 rolls around and my finger is still naked. I'm trying not to really freak out until the end of March when I turn 30. :)
A holiday proposal sounds nice and would be lovely to remember for years to come. Of course, this isn't to say I won't remember it no matter when it happens.
There's a lot that sort of leading me to hope for a Holiday proposal (most likely Thanksgiving...) I feel like either I am completely "waiting crazy" and overanalyzing anything I can get my hand on, or several hints have been dropped from various family members.
FH and I haven't been ring shopping together, and one day I got sick of not talking about it and casually sent him the link to the ring I like. We talked about it for a bit and then immediately after he asked me who was coming in for Thanksgiving. Yeah...I know it could be just a coincidence, or he was just trying to change the subject, but it got me thinking.
I'm trying to stay sane and not get my hopes up too much...I don't want to be crushed if/when it doesn't happen.
I keep trying to tell my self that it wont happen around christmas...but I really want us to be engaged in the new year.
Last New years Eve at midnight, after we kissed he looked at me and said "well now I have one year to pop the question". Im just nervous that he wont keep to his own time line!
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Is anyone else getting anxious/nervous about the holidays coming up? I know a lot of people get engaged during this time of the year, and I know if it doesn't happen for me I am going to feel like a loser, even if I try NOT to feel that way. There are so many holidays and so many times that we will see each others' families that this would be a perfect time to do it so we can just tell everyone at once.
I am just afraid that it's not going to happen for me. It will have been over 4.5 years during the time of the holidays, and we have been discussing getting married/moving in together for a while but I am really getting to my breaking point now. I told myself that I wouldn't bring it up again until after Thanksgiving, so hopefully he does it before then, but I'm not totally counting on it. I feel like I will know when he has started shopping for rings/planning a proposal, and I don't have that feeling yet. I just don't want to come out of the holiday season (again) with a naked finger. People are always telling me that they look at my left hand every time they see me, expecting a ring, and no doubt people will be looking for it and asking about it during the holidays. I have been really happy and having fun around him so that he doesn't see me pissy all the time, but every time I'm alone I get really down because I'm starting to feel like I'm maybe not good enough to him or something (I know that's not the case, but it's how this situation is making me feel-and yes, I have told him in the past that I feel this way, and he tells me not to worry, that isn't the case at all...).
Does anyone else worry about not getting engaged by the time the holidays are over?