(Closed) Holidays when inlaws live in another province

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Coopsie:  Yup, just divide it up as best you can. My SO and I have spent 3 Xmases together now, and we’ve always gone to my mom’s house/our place since we’re in the same city. SO’s parents live in the UK and we’re spending Xmas 2014 with them. We go visit them for a week or so every year, though (last year it was Easter, this year it won’t be any particular holiday). I think as long as you take turns somehow then relatives understand. I am not a fan personally of the couple splitting up (i.e. one spouse goes to her parents, the other to his parents) for Xmas and big holidays, but I am sure it works for some.

Post # 4
Member
412 posts
Helper bee

honestly – holidays are expensive times to fly. for now, that sounds like a good solution, but once you have kids, i’d consider just vacationing there at some point during the year and then skyping in at holiday-time. alternatively: one year you fly there, the next, you host those that are willing to fly to you.

Post # 5
Member
14316 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

We live in the same state as my family and a 4 hour plane ride from my husbands family and 2 sisters. It’s not realistic for everyone to come to us since thats 8 people there and just the two of us. So far for the last 5 years that we’ve been together, we spend Xmas with his family since we get a week off from work so it’s easy to not have to take time off and visit.  It works out since my family doesnt really celebrate Xmas.  The difficult part for us will be when we have children, I think I will want to spend the holidays at home and will probably start to alternate then.

Post # 6
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

When I was growing up, we NEVER spent the holidays with either side of the family, because we lived in northern WI and they were in either VT, TX, or CO.  I can remember one or two Easters in TX, maybe, and that’s only because my grandmother’s birthday falls around Easter some years.  The holidays were just my parents and I, and honestly, it was really nice.    

 

That doesn’t mean we never saw the extended family, though – from what I can remember, we saw one side or the other probably once a year.  Just not around the holidays.

 

I say, go ahead and spend some major holidays at home, just the two of you, and go visit the out-of-province family during a less hectic time of year when you’re able to afford it.  Or take turns where one year you travel to them, and the next, they travel to you.  No need to make the holidays more stressful than necessary 🙂

Post # 7
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

@Coopsie: 

My FI’s parents live in a different provience and mine live a 2 hour drive away (same provience). Right now we are childless so we either celebrate separately or we split the holiday. One set of parents gets Xmas Eve and Xmas the other gets New Years which we turn into an Xmas.  We would rotate other holidays but it is really expensive for us to fly to his parents especially since we just bought a house. We try to visit them a few times a year and my FI goes on one trip solo once a year. (I think it is important for a parent to have alone time with their child and his parents really enjoy just seeing him. He’s the Big Mac and I’m just the fries afterall. lol)  Once we have children we agreed to continue the back and forth until the child gets old enough that it is too much to handle. 

Our childs gifts wouldn’t all be able to travel because of weight restrictions, kids often want to see their friends over the holidays, and it is just too tough. We will travel for holidays but not to the point that it ruins the holiday for our family.

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