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Oh man, the stories my poor husband could tell...
(like the times he's come home from work to me sobbing on the floor in the middle of the kitchen because I'm hungry... DH: "Um, you know you're in the kitchen right? Where we keep the food?" Me (sobbing): "But I needed to eat right away, and even the cup of noodles soup packs take 12-14 minutes!" DH: "How long have you been sitting here?" Me: "Thirty minutes")
(or the time I woke up crying at 5 AM because I had a dream about chocolate donut holes and I NEEDED them so I woke him up to give me his iphone so I could look up when Dunkin Donuts opened, and then he said he'd go get them for me at 6 AM, but then I got mad when it was 6:11 AM and he hadn't left yet)
(or the time I got mad at him one night and wouldn't let him apologize and made him go to the guestroom, but I still wanted him to KNOW how mad I was, so I sent him mean text messages from the master bedroom while he kept texting back that he was sorry and he loved me. Let us note that I was mad at him for falling asleep on the couch and then not waking up when I stomped around the living room passive-aggressively trying to wake him up, so it's not like I was even mad for a legit reason)
Girl, you are NOT alone in this. Next time your husband tries to tell you to get over it, just point to me and say "Hey, at least you're not married to THAT crazy lady."
I had got super mad at the movies. I didnt want a whole combo to myself. I wanted to splitone with DH. He didnt want what i wanted , so he suggested that we just get two combo's . If i didnt finish it , then i didnt finish it...not the end of the world.
I was sooo angry. I just kept telling him , fine get what you want. But being super snotty about it. He even tried to hug me and i pulled away. Over a nacho chips combo?! Such Ridiculousness.
I think my jealously radar is on full blast too. I guess with going through all the physical changes and started get a baby belly im not feeling very attractive. Poor DH has to deal with a million un-rational texts when he is out with the buddy's.
Eeek... thank god he loves me.
@ForeverYoung: "Over a nacho chips combo?! Such Ridiculousness." This made me laugh, but only because I know pregnant ridiculousness too. I've cried over stupid things, but I can't remember any of them at the moment. Must think harder, yet my brain isn't working at its best.
@ForeverYoung: Nacho chips? Love it!
I'm glad I'm not alone with the irrational swings. Oh how I try to be normal...
I'd like to believe that emotional outbursts are absolutely normal. Partly because I've read that is is common in all the books but mostly because if it isn't normal... then I have a problem. I have freaked out on my husband (poor guy) about so much random stuff, stuff that would never have otherwise set me off. He calls me Cybill cuz I'm a mess sometimes. We also happen to be living in a stressful environment so that has to be a contributing factor. I've found that the best thing you can do, is when you're not upset, remind your hubs that you love him and you don't mean to be so difficult. But with all these hormones surging and the stuff we inevitably have on our minds- we're tense sometimes! This has helped me a lot. Because at first my husband would just get defensive and that ended up making things escalate when it shouldn't have.
OP-think about it this way and maybe you'll feel better-people get pregnant every day. There really isn't much to "spotlight" about. I feel the same way about weddings. Spotlights are reserved for broadway performers and such.
I haven't had any outbursts because I am able to rationalize. I think to myself 'am i this mad for real, or because I am using pregnancy as an excuse to be mad?" Usually I'm just pissed because I feel so tired and everything hurts and it isn't some kind of hormone thing. Once I'm able to figure out WHY I'm actually angry, the need to outburst goes away. It's made pregnancy a little easier, because I can tell you that I pretty much hate being pregnant.
I am not pregnant, but thank you so much for this thread. I am going to start being a lot nicer to one of my pregnant friends who has been an abolsute witch the last few months.
I had many crying episodes the first few months throughout my pregnancy; it's frustrating to feel like you don't have any control over your emotions, or that you're suddenly somebody else.
As far as attention goes, though, you'll get a lot of it as soon as you start showing! :) Sure, some of it will be random, unwanted, or even dowright creepy (what's with men and pregnancy fetishes?!), but it's attention nonetheless!
@Lozza: Hilarious (in hindsight, i'm sure)!!
@Mrs. Spring: Thanks! I think that's what I was trying to convey. You do get a spotlight (all babies should have one and be celebrated!) and I'm just looking forward to that being my turn. It's hard waiting and keeping a secret :)
@Miss Sapphire: Waiting 14 weeks to tell anyone seems like FOREVER but once you start to get the attention you may realize that some of it is nice but not all of it is good (annoying comments about your weight or people asking to see your bump), so enjoy the time you have now.
I haven't been irrationally mad at anyone but things that would normally irritate me are even more annoying now.
@camrie-I'm with you. Most of the attention is annoying. It isn't focused on the baby ,people give you opinions/advice on EVERYTHING from epidurals, to names, to brands of bedding, and think it's okay to comment on your weight. Everyone keeps asking me if I am going to breastfeed, which, like why the F does anyone care how I am feeding my kid? And I would just like to add that actually your "lady parts" become the real star/spotlight of the pregnancy. By the time the 8th month rolls around everybody and their grandmother has seen it and/or stuck some kind of finger/instrument all up in your business.
It is nice when people offer you a seat on the subway though.
My worst was when my dad called me big. I know my belly is getting bigger, but I don't want to hear I'm big! I spent the entire day bawling.
for what it's worth, when I DO conceive, we won't be telling anyone till after at least the second month, possibly the third. It's gonna totally SUCK because I'll want to tell EVERYONE, but I won't. It's a personal reason (I'm sure some of you can guess it), but we just don't want to get OUR hopes up or anyone elses.
As for mood swings, oh, yeah, totally typical. I was a mess with both my kids and my fears I developed after my first marriage flopped (marrying someone to spite your mother is a BAAAD idea, just sayin') exploded to, oh, 10 times what they were before when pregnant with my FI's daughter, lol.
I'm sure he'd have a list that would be a page long (seriously, he would!) about my emotions during that time! LOL!
good luck and congratulations!!!!
@Lozza: My husband is rudely laughing his head off as I read your post aloud, saying, "Happened, happened, and happened... And you weren't even pregnant for some of them!!" Well, excuse me, but I DO believe I was hormonal during ALL similar episodes... PMS thank you very much!! :)
I got the jealousy issue too. They hired a new ranch secretary, and I was mad because I'm being a bit moody, not in the mood very much lately, and I am gone three days a week, and I keep saying, "They had to hire a new one just this minute??" But he is nice about that and says he won't talk to her, lol. He is actually pretty nice about my irrationalities.
Yes. I get seriously pissed when my husband accidentally hurts me. Like, the other day he was throwing a toy for the dog, and it flew backwards out of his hand and hit me straight in the glasses. It barely hurt, but I scream "F#!* you!" and run out of the room. After two minutes in the bathroom I come out and apologize. Things like this happen a lot, and it just makes me so angry! I know it's nonsensical, but I just can't stop it. The poor man. I also can't get in the mood, and to be honest, BD just hurts these days. I always say he's going to cheat on me, because "that's what always happens in the movies when the pregnant wife doesn't want to have sex!" And he's been super duper sweet about it. So don't feel bad. We all get crazy!
Just last night we were watching the SuperBowl and hubby kept rewinding the tv to watch the good commercials and movie previews again. I told him that we wouldn't finish watching the game til midnight if he didn't quit it. And he got a hurt look on his face and said that he just wanted me to see the funny ones again. I immediately burst into tears about how I was so sorry and I'm such an awful person. Luckily, DH is always understanding but I think I drive him crazy sometimes!
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Have any of you just had a totally irrational outburst that you even knew it was bad, but being pregnant you just had to get it out?
I've been struggling with some jealousy over here with people telling our friends early (at like 10 weeks) and us not even getting an OB appointment yet and knowing that just due to timing we won't be able to tell anyone until we around around 14-15 weeks. I just did an outburst at my husband about it and he told me I was being a super whiny baby (duh) and need to get over it (duh) but I can't help feeling like I will never ever get a spotlight this whole pregnancy since we'll be outshadowed by someone else all the way.
Is this normal???