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My FI is sooooo ready. Ready enough that he wants to start trying now! and we are 6 weeks from the wedding. He's adorable about it but I don't want to be pregnant at the wedding. We are definitely going for a honeymoon baby...we're not getting any younger either (34) so why wait?
There will never be a "perfect" time to do ANYTHING in life so if you feel ready, go for it. It's scary as hell, but totally worth it. Good luck!
As for the "never a perfect time" that is EXACTLY how I feel about this. I don't feel like I'm ever going to be 100% ready - I'm scared, I'm the one who has to be sick and still drag myself to the office, work 12 hour days, get to doctors appointments, etc. I'm actually very afraid of making a pregnancy work with my job because of the commute I have / distance from our house.
I've also been fairly out of shape over the last year or so and while I am "trying to lose weight" for the wedding, that was really out of vanity. Now I feel like if he really does want to start trying this year, I need to physically prepare my body for pregnancy. That is why I want him to give me a solid answer on when he wants to start trying - I need to get to the gym!
My FI is always 3-4 steps ahead of me. He was ready to be married first and he wants us to "pull the goalie" sooner than I do. Funny thing is he's almost 3yrs younger than me too!
My parents don't really have an opinion since they already have 5 grandkids but his mom is so cute. She told me "I promsise not to be one of those mother-in-laws but I there's only 1 thing - you have to get pregnant right away" HAH! She's just excited to be a Nana.
I'd like to at least have a 1yr anniv before we start trying.
Well that is almost another issue entirely for me - the grandparents thing. My older bothers both have kids but they are my half brothers - I'm the baby, Mom's only child and she isn't in the greatest health. I want my mom to be around when I have my first baby, so it's probably smart to get going ASAP after the wedding. I know all the parents wil be thrilled for us (well, maybe not his awful Dad! jerk!) so I'm sure we would have a lot of love and help. I think for me the promise of help with childcare SOMEwhere in all of that would be the thing that would make me "pull the goalie" - I had to use that, it was too funny!
@christalynn - I hear ya about getting your body ready. I wanted to lose a few pounds for the wedding too but couldn't really motivate, but the second we decided to start ttc in (gulp!) six weeks, I went out and got some new running shoes and got to work! I also has a pre-conception appt with my obgyn and started taking prenatal vitamins. The second the decision was made it was time to get ready.
I'm the baby too and have grandparents breathing down my neck - but they all live far away! It's just me and FI in our city, which makes it scary, but we'll figure it out! It really is the most exciting and terrifying decision we've ever made!
Actually the idea of going in to talk with an OBGYN about what I need to do between now and then might be a good plan. I know basically nothing about pregnancy itself. Any books I might take a look at to prepare?
Yeah; we've had these discussions as well. Lately FI keeps saying how he "can't wait till we have kids" or "It's gonna be soo much fun when we have kids".... I'm like uh..... We aren't even getting married for another year...... So I have a feeling he's gonna be ready Right Away... Pretty Freakin' Scary... lol But exciting too!
My FI is more ready than I am. And as someone with the Mirena, I can tell you that I've heard "When are we going to yank that thing out?" more times than I can count. To be fair, I am 26 but he is turning 33 in a month. He feels like he is running out of time!
My FI wanted me to go off the pill right after we got engaged. I was like "um, hold up there tiger! We have a wedding to plan and a dress to fit into!" So, a few months out, we decided I should go off the pill.
He's definitely way ready. I"m ready but also terrified of pregnancy and birth. He's so fun loving and fly by the seat of his pants, I'm not really sure he's really considered what it means to have a baby.
We're going to try on our honeymoon or right after and I'm 29 too. We've been talking about it for awhile and having some time to prepare myself for it has been really helpful. I've gone past the totally freaked out stage to the really excited stage (mixed with fear : ). I haven't met with an OBGYN yet, but it's on my list of to-dos. Like you, we've been together awhile and don't need to be married without kids...we've basically done that the past 3-4 years.
I'm 32 and FI turns 39 a month after our wedding. We're waiting at leat six months after the wedding, but that's probably about it. We're a little older and it might take a while.
That being said, we're telling everyone we aren't in a rush and we aren't sure when we're going to have kids. If it takes a while, I don't want to have to talk about it all the time.
@texasmeredith - ha! we're doing the same thing, telling everyone, especially our parents, that we are going to wait awhile. I really don't need FMIL asking if I'm pregnant every week - which she totally would if she knew that we were trying!
@christalynn - the book that has been recommended most is "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". I haven't read it, I want to give us a few months - should it take that long - of just enjoying the process :) That said, the appointment with my doctor was invaluable and she gave me some good information and we both (FI came too) asked a lot of questions about getting my body ready. Beyond a few tests she did, it's really about being at a healthy weight, talking about any meds you might be on and how they can affect your pregnancy, and starting to get in tune with your cycle so you know when your fertile days are. Basically though, she said that if you are healthy and ready just be patient and have lots of sex and have fun with it!
We were talking about when we wanted to have children and I said I wanted to start trying in 5-6 years (we're only 22) and he flipped out! He wants to have kids as soon as possible, but we can hardly support ourselves financially and we have some debt that needs to be payed off! Also, I'm still in school and I want to be able to finish my schooling and have a good career before we start trying. We seriously argue about it at least once a month :( It's so frustrating! He doesn't want to be "too old" when he has kids, but I think late 20s and early 30s is a great time to have kids... uggghhhh
I had to share this - my coworker and I were out (buying a cookie! YES!) and ran into a friend we know. She and her hubby are going to start TTC and she said the way they talked is she went to him, grabbed her belly and said "my oven is ready!" So cute!
I think for us, I need to jsut take better care of myself, get to a proper weight and take some vitamins. With Mirena I really don't cycle, so that may be some trial and error. Oh darn, more practice? Yes please!? ;)
My DH was always more ready than I. And even now, I want two kids, he wants (seriously) six. I've always said we'll have as many as we can comfortable afford...I can't believe that he wants SIX though! I think he'll always be Mr. Confident when it comes to babies, kids, and being a parent. I kinda love him for that!
I'm glad that we have agreed on how many to have but we have never talked about timing. Probably because he is convinced I'm going to have twins and tehn we will be done!
What is with men and the twins thing? Mine says that too! I know part of it is some of our best friends have twins who are amazing...but dude! one step (and baby) at a time!
@mighty - mine jokes all the time about wanting 13. atleast i *think* he's joking.
My husband is more ready than I am. I'm scarred of coping with being pregant, working, commuting and pregnancy exhaustion. I'm also worried about not yet being in a house and ur ability to find and afford quality childcare.
haha this is kinda funny. I'm really young, not even legal to drink yet haha. but my fi is five years older than me and he wants a family ten times more than I do. but he did agree to wait until I finish school to talk about seriously having kids so I'm happy about that. haha. I definitely don't feel ready, I know I want it eventually but probably not now, but it's funny to see how much my fiance wants it.
My honey, despite the age gap, has always been more ready than me for every step in our relationship. I love him so much for that :)
We spent our Saturday together today which included dropping by 'Five Guys' (which if you haven't heard of them, that chain makes THE BEST burger & fries I have ever eaten! ever!) While there, we saw two of the most adorable babies. My FI joked that his biceps were going to be so strong from carrying a baby carrier around. This prompted another baby discussion. I tol dhim I feel like he is more excied about having babies with me than the actual wedding date - and he said "actually, yes. I am thrilled to be ready to have a family..."
AND I think I fell in love all over again. :)
If it was up to my hubs we would have had kids years ago but my "goal" was to be married first. I wanted to do it "right" and I am lucky that he had no problem with waiting. We did what was right for us and our future family. We built our foundation and made sure we were prepared for bringing kids into this world. So after the wedding, here came baby #1. She is practically our honeymoon baby since she was conceived 2 weeks after the wedding :)
BTW - Five Guys burgers and fries are so DELISH. Not good for you but worth splurging on! :)
It's kind of funny. Once we were engaged all I could think about was babies. I wanted a lot of them, and was counting the days until we could start trying. Then the closer we got to when I wanted to start trying, the more nervous and anxious I got. Thankfully my sister is planning a destination wedding May 2011, so we are waiting a while so that I am no more than a few months along by the time her wedding gets here. Hopefully by then I'll feel a little more ready.
This weekend I was realizing how much of our life in the last year and a half was dedicated to wedding planning. FI has had some family obligations this year, so we haven't traveled or taken weekend trips like we did the year before. Now I just want to have some time to us, without the wedding or a baby in our minds.
my husband is 36 and i am 30. our actual wedding is 2 months away - but we've been legal for a year. we're both ready to start TTC - but seriously - most days I feel like he wants one NOW. i've gone off my pill - and we are supposed to be using condoms...but yeah - we're not. obviously i don't WANT to be pregnant AT the wedding...(and as of right now we're not) but yeah...
Yeah, mine wants one NOW NOW NOW too. I should never have told him the joke posted about pulling the goalie because now I hear that every three days!
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When we got engaged on Christmas, my fiancee expected that I would want to get married in 2011. Well, we are getting married this year in October - I didn't want to wait another minute! We have been together for 4 years now so it was time.
Now to back up, in November 2009 I decided (after basically no discussion) to get an IUD. I got the Mirena and couldn't be happier. My main reason was that 1) with my great health coverage, it was FREE and 2) I knew he would be proposing and didn't want to have an 'oops' surprise before the wedding. We've had more than one of those in our families and it was important to me that he married me because he loved me, not because he knocked me up.
Now with the wedding 7 months away, people ask us often when we think we might have kids. I say oh, whenever he is ready or something like that - but he has now taken to saying "Honeymoon Baby!" I knew he was saying it to be funny in the moment at first, but that comment has happened a lot recently. He also constantly asks me at home when are we going to "get that thing taken out" (meaning my IUD) and "we aren't getting any younger" - So last night when I point blank asked if he was kidding or not, he said he would seriously like to start trying over the holidays this year after we get home.
I'm not in any way opposed to saying YES to a baby, but man am I freaked out about the idea of pregnancy itself and the financial issues that come with children!? We have the space, etc but already my mind is kind of racing with the thought that we might get seriously about all of this baby-making stuff! :) I'm half excited and half terrified! Honestly I am pretty baby crazy myself (I just turned 29 dontcha know?!) so its not that I don't want to have kids - I can imagine myself getting pregnant and being completely thrilled and glowing and all of that - but really I feel mostly like I'm at a point in my life where I'm "as ready as I will ever be".
Has anyone else had the guy in your life be the one who is more 'ready' to start TTC than you are?