Post # 1
Before me and my husband got married, we put off doing some things around the house because of the stress the wedding was putting us in. Our master plan was to fix up his (tiny, bachelorpad, gross, teeny tiny, moldy, old, teensy tiny) house and put it on the market. This way, WE find something WE like and start OUR family in OUR joint home that WE chose. Not ME MOVE IN WITH HIM. That’s how I feel. It’s still HIS house. Not my home. I live here…
Well, right after the engagement, (june 2009) we started talking plans. Well, he half redid the bathroom…but yet, still moldy. fast forward… “we’ll get it done before Christmas…” fast forward….”we’ll get it done before the wedding….” fast forward…”We have no money”.
AND here I am. I can’t even get the man to buy PAINT. I think he’s so stressed with our to do list, he’s afraid to start… .then realize were moving on and his bachelor pad is gone….I’M FRUSTRATED HERE! I ask him all the time when when when… and there’s nothing else I can do but keep asking…. ugh
Post # 3
I do think the money thing was a big stress. He also might feel weird about selling something that is his and buying something that is yours. Some people don’t like doing home renovations either so that might be part of it.
Post # 4
I can understand all of those reasons, and I’m trying to be understanding… but I at LEAST need this place fixed up. Even if he decides NOT to sell. if WE decide not to sell… The dryer does NOT VENT OUTSIDE >> BLUE TOILET and SINK >> NO HOOD OVER THE OVEN >> WOOD PANELING >> and the best? I literally have a full size bear, three bear busts, and six deer busts in the living room…. :o(
Post # 5
Do you have the money to fix the place up though? It’s hard to do anything if you don’t have money. 🙁
Post # 6
We will… This month was tighter than usual. But after, we should be okay. I suggested we do little bits at a time…so fingers crossed… but I’m about to just paint the house one day while he’s at work. Hahaha Baby steps I guess!
Post # 7
Yeah, paint really spruces up a place.
Post # 8
I soooo feel your pain, I was there before!!! Hopefully he helped you with the planning for the wedding. If so cook a nice dinner and have a planning night. Create a schedule for the first project together, for example if project 1 is the bedroom develop a schedule that you both own a task until the room is completed. He strips the paneling and sands two walls and you sand two walls and the window frames. After the first project is complete move on to the next. Oh yeah and let him feel as though you would like him to teach you about renovations, stroke his ego a bit….GOOD LUCK (smiles)
Post # 9
No money=no work on the house, I hear ya!!!
I’ve lived here for 2 years and until 6 months ago, the most I’d done was paint. That’s all I could afford. It takes time to be able to save up to do the ‘big stuff’. but when you do, you feel the transformation iun the home becoming yours.
Post # 10
I’m relaxing in bed and just had to get-up to get my keyboard (in the other room) after reading your comment about the bears! My laptop keys are broken.
I totally feel you! I moved-in with my Fi (to another continent) and have been so anxious to redecorate his bachelor pad. Now that we’ve bought our first home, I’ve been trying to lay-down the law (lol)! He also has random taxidermy animals hanging around, and his idea of an ideal place to put an old grade school globe was in the living room! He also had the habit of taking things his siblings were about to throw away, so we literally have some junk to sort out.
At first I felt bad about doing it, but then I realized … why should I feel bad? It’s my home, he claims I can decorate it any way I want, and I DON’T spend any money at all (no clothes shopping, no shoes shopping, nothing but just groceries).
How I’m dealing with it: I’ve been browsing through classifieds and we’ve been casually going to 2nd hand stores! That way, I feel like I’m accomplishing something towards acheiving the new look of our place, yet saving some massive money.
So far I’ve found the following deals:
- chunky, antique, solid wooden table (very heavy) 150 SEK ($19)!!!
- large, heavy wooden mirror: 225 SEK ($28)
- large antique wooden basket that looks like it came straight out of Snow White’s cabin: 30 SEK ($4)
I’ve been really pleased with the quality of stuff I’ve found on the cheap. I know buying used stuff isn’t for everyone, but I love antiques and want to dive-into DIYs. I think you’d be surprised to see what stuff is available in your area once you find out where to look.
Post # 11
You can always shame him into helping by starting it yourself. My husband used to come home from work and see piles of ‘stuff’ at the curb and walk in saying’What did you do NOW’? lol
Our last house was situated up on a hill,which was also covered in ivy. One of my neighbors had old pictures of the rock garden that used to be exposed,now under the ivy. All my neighbor GF’s went home and got their loppers and we hacked away at it until we could see rocks. Made a HUGE mess,but it got him feeling guilty and he helped from that point on.
We had no flower beds so I dug and planted them myself. We had no trees,so I shopped for and planted them myself. He wouldn’t paint,so I painted and wallpapered myself. I had no experience with any of it,but once I did some research and asked people tons of questions I had no problem just jumping into it all.
Go pick up some paint and let him see it along with rollers,trays,etc. Bet he gets moving!
Post # 12
@vitsippa – I’m glad I’m not the only one with the ANIMAL problem! I mean, the living room is too tiny for the animals, it’s not that I … hate them? Ok I do hate them BUT COMEONNN!! One is enough. Maybe two. But 8 in one room?
@smyley – oh, he will do yardwork til his hands bleed! The flowerbed looks great, the tomatoes are comin in slowly, and new mulch around the trees. But I will definately have to do some scheming (sp?) to get the inside to match outside!
Post # 13
Is there a reason why you can’t paint the bathroom? I am going to assume it’s not a huge room, and it really would probably only take a day start to finish . . . Why wait for him?