I only work 2 or 3 days a week. I already have two daughters, and I did the stay at home mom thing for a year and a half with my older daughter, and then when my younger daughter was born I was home for probably three years with them. It has it’s upsides and downsides. I personally felt like I totally lost myself (although I have to say my situation was much more stressful, having a special needs child, and my then boyfriend was only home for a short time every other month bc of his job). When you are a stay at home mom, people tend to think that you don’t need a break, bc, hey, it’s not like you have a job or anything. Anyway, I ended up taking a bartending job just to have a good reason to leave the house, and I was able do it while my kids were sleeping.
I kind of knew that I didn’t want to be in this relationship anymore, so when a really good job popped up in my chosen field, I jumped at it. So, then I was doing the single mom working two jobs thing, and that was killing me, but I did it for three years, during which time the husband and I got together. I loved my full time job, but it was a whole lotta’ chaos all day every day. So, when we eventually moved in together this past February, we decided it would be best for me and the girls if I only worked a few days a week. And while I feel like I am wasting my potential in my current job, it’s a nice trade off. I could absolutely never do the full time stay at home mom thing again!!! I really respect a mom who can, but I need something to remove me from the stresses of being home.
My advice to anyone planning to be a SAHM are to make sure you have a good support system and network, people who understand that motherhood can be more stressful than a full time job, especially if you have more than one. Also, I really advise people to have a class or attend a book club, or go do something for yourself at least once a week. Even going for cocktails with your best friends every other weekend. This will keep you connected to the world and pull you out of your bubble. Have a back up plan: Whoo watches the baby if you get the flu or if you both get the flu? What happens if you break your foot? Pass out,etc. Give yourself a reason to dress up and get sexy a few times a month. Trust me, it’s easy to be the flip flop wearing sweatpants mom. Have an at home hobby that doesn’t include ironing (I went through a phase where I ironed evry peice of laundry in the house) or vacuumming. Last but not least…babies are easy, it’s when they get to be toddlers that all hell breaks loose. Toddlers are jerks, but very lovable jerks!!
Sorry, this was longer than I intended. I really only meant to say, been there, done that, and I prefer working part time!