Post # 1
I am getting married in 5 weeks and myself and fiance just bought our very first house early July. We officially started living here two weeks ago and i am really struggling being away from home.
I am only 22years old and everyone has said I am quite young and i keep doubting that i am ready to be married and live out of home just yet. I am really confused as to what to do because i love my fiance but so much has changed and im very upset all the time. I go home to mum and dads everyday when i finish work and occasionally stay the night. I miss my fiance but i honestly dont think i am ready to be the independant person on my own yet.
I am quite sick atm i lost 7 kilos in a week and i never feel like eating there. The house makes me upset and i want to be back at home, but i cant do that if im married….
I am going to disappoint so many people and i have put so many plans into this wedding if i postpone please help!
Post # 3
The best advice I can give you is to hang in there! When we got married, I was 18. A week after the wedding we packed up and moved a state away. I had never been away from my family for longer than five days before that, and let me tell you the day we said goodbye was one of the hardest of my life. It gets better! Stick it out and be tough.
I completely understand how you feel. I cried every single day for at least two months. Home sickness is a real deal. Message me if you need someone to chat with.
Post # 4
I got married about a month ago and I’m 23. I understand what you’re going through because I lived at home right up until I was 22 and moved out of my house to another state last year. In the end it comes to what feels right for you.
Whenever you make a big change it will always be very hard for you. I remember all the times I went on summer internships away from home, the first few days I’d cry at night because I missed my family.
Living with your FI and future spouse is actually an incredible experience if you both are ready for a challenge and are mature enough. Now it’s not about just chilling on the couch watching TV. It’s about paying bills, going grocery shopping, decorating the house, buying necessities, etc. But even though that all seems boring, it’s actually incredibly fun and exciting when you’re with the person you love.
If you live close to your family, you can see them regularly and have their support and love.
There is a reason your fiance and you decided to get married. If it’s because of the right reasons, then there’s no need to worry. My husband confessed to me that the first few weeks we started living together he had small panic attacks and started doubting if it was the right thing to do. After a few weeks of getting into the system of living together he realized that he loved it and wanted to live with me forever.
So give yourself a little more time. Don’t think about it was being taken away from your family or being too young. Think about it that you get to start a new and exciting chapter in your life at an early age!!
Post # 5
Thank you for your advice. Your advice seems to be similar to what everyone around me is saying… my fiance keeps telling me it is going to get better, but all i keep thinking everyday is being back at home. I have never been a confident person and the people closest to me keep asking if i want to go ahead with the wedding or not. I have never had doubts before but now i do i dont want to be the grown up person who looks after her household yet i feel like i do the household things at my new house just to prove that i can do it, but deep down it hurts me doing them.
I keep feeling like if i give myself another year i would be ready but right now i dont feel like i am.
Do i push myself into all of this? get married, go on my honeymoon with the chance nothing is going to change when i get back or do i postpone for a year and prepare myself to be out of home and to grow up?
Post # 6
If you’re asking for an honest opinion, throwing yourself out there and taking the bull by the horns to become an independent, free-thinking, adult is the best way to go, imo.
It’s a little scary at first, but the more experiences you and your FH learn to handle together, the easier and more confident you will become! Your parents are ALWAYS a phone call away and will more than likely be happy to give you advice and talk you through things. Have some faith in yourself! You might find that when you have to rise to the occasion, so to speak, you’ll do better than you think!
I still miss home everyday, and look forward to the time when we get to move back (ten months and counting!).
Also, I think that having some distance from the parentals while you two are trying to get established is the best possible thing you can do.
Post # 7
@JeffsWifey: Couldn’t agree more with you, and all the other previous posters!
Post # 8
I agree with PPs, you have to just do it. I don’t think waiting a year or any amount of time will change anything- becoming independent is not easy and not always fun. I moved for college right after I graduated HS and I’ve been pretty independent since then. I still talk to my mom online and on the phone all the time, since we’re really close. And of course I go home every now and then, but for the most part I’m more comfortable being home, at my place, because I’m just used to it. You WILL get there. My honest advice- don’t allow yourself to go home so often. Try to go a week without staying overnight or going there for any length of time when you don’t have a legitimate reason to do so. If you want to see your parents, go shopping or out to dinner with them- away from the house. Just throwing yourself out there and forcing yourself to do it really is the best, IMHO.