Post # 1
Hello fellow bees.
I’m writing this post with a sad heart. The wedding planning process has been stressful, fun, exciting, depressing, and a whole host of other emotions. Never before, however, has it made me feel this way.
I was perusing posts on florists in the DC area. I’ve been debating whether to DIY or go with a professional. Since I’m a perfectionist, I thought perhaps a professional would be a safer choice. Anyway…
I saw a recommendation for Fifi Flowers, and decided to give them a call. I was having a PERFECTLY lovely conversation with the owner/proprietor, and even was about to schedule an in-person meeting, until I asked my pro forma question: “Do you have any moral or religious obligation to a lesbian wedding?”
You could’ve heard a pin drop. She stammered briefly, and then said she’d prefer not to. She doesn’t believe in gay marriage. If I just said we were having a “ceremony,” it would be one thing. However, since we’d established a rapport, she said she’d still do the arrangements but:
- She wouldn’t deliver them to our venue. Someone would have to come pick them up.
- She doesn’t want to be linked to our wedding in anyway.
- She doesn’t want us to mention her name, even to our bridal party.
- She wouldn’t have any photos of us on her website. She’d post pictures of her work, but without us in them.
Now, bees, WHY would I pay my hard-earned money to someone who’s so clearly against the way that my wife and I love each other? If I may be spending a couple thousand dollars, I’m going to need you to either support gay marriage, or keep your opposition to yourself.
I actually had tears in my eyes when I got off the phone.
Post # 3
unforuntatley this could happen a lot to you during wedding planning and perhaps in life in general. I have no advice other than to say simply keep looking there will be many other florists who would gladly take you on.
Post # 4
That is sad. Love is love, and I think it’s unfortunate that so many think that some people don’t deserve the right to legally declare their love and commitment for another person. What’s more, it’s strange (and poor business practices!) that someone wouldn’t even want their business name mentioned!
Post # 5
Ew. Don’t let ignorance ruin your day or your lovely plans. Her loss.
Post # 6
I feel bad for that deplorable, angry, misguided, low-brown, repulsive, uneducated “woman.”
Good luck to you in your search for a new florist who will respect and appreciate your beautiful marriage.
Post # 7
that is terrible. i wouldn’t spend my money with them anyway. good luck finding another florist.
Post # 8
It’s sad that you even had to say “Do you have any moral or religious obligation to a lesbian wedding?” I’m sorry that you had to have such a negative experience during a happy time for you and your future wife. I hope you can find a florist that will be proud to be a part of your wedding.
Post # 9
I feel sorry for her. Focusing so much energy on discrimination and hate must be exhausting. I am sure you will find an amazing florist that you and your soon-to-be wife will love! Best wishes <3
Post # 10
Wow! I actually have never even thought about a same sex wedding being a vendor issue. Keep looking honey, there is no way in the world you should give this lady your money to not support your day. She can suck it!
Post # 11
You have every right to work with vendors who support you and your wife as much as any other couple. Don’t be too discouraged, you’ll find a great florist! A lot of people still need to wake up and accept that love is love. Please don’t let this put a damper on your happiness 🙂
BTW It’s objection not obligation, but I’m betting that was just a typo.
Post # 12
@vmec: I’m probably living in a bit of a fairy-tale land. My family is totally supportive of our love. I’m out at work, and no one bats an eyelash. Her family is now on-board. It just came as such a shock.
@StL.Ashley: Thanks! It’s crazy to me that I’d have to keep it a secret if she did good work. Why should other people care that she provided a service to a lesbian couple? It’s not like she signed the marriage certificate for us.
@Taeyers: Thank you for those encouraging words. You’re right. Why am I letting her ignorance cloud my joy?
@Luv2BeachIt: You’re right. I think I was just surprised because we were having a really good conversation up until that point. She “got” me from the very beginning, and had some great money-saving ideas for me. Oh well, I’ll just put them to good use when I DIY. 🙂
Post # 13
wow that sucks bigtime 🙁 totally unacceptable IMO on many levels. keep looking, there will be tons of florists that would love to work with you (and have your money :)) don’t get discouraged. it’s your and your FI’s love here that’s important, not other peoples political and religious views.
Post # 14
Just curious, but how would she keep her opposition to herself if you flat out asked her the question? Would you rather her lie? I guess I just don’t get it.
Post # 15
That sucks! If you want to try and avoid future experiences like that, this site has a directory of all different LGBT-friendly wedding vendors (this link is just DC florists but they have other types)
Post # 16
Drop her like a bad habit and spread the word in your local community that Fifi is a homophobe.