Post # 1
Long story short, my fiance took a new job after we set our wedding date, and explained to his new boss that we had been planning to take a two-week honeymoon. His boss said that was no problem and that he could even take longer if he wanted as long as he was back in time for an important annual event that usually falls at the end of October.
So, we were planning to have our wedding on October 4, and then leave for our European honeymoon October 5 and return on October 19 or 20. Well, the dates just came out for the annual event…and it is now set for mid-October…October 15 to be exact, which means we may not even be able to have a week-long honeymoon because he needs to be back in time to prepare for the event.
I am quite literally, crushed, because we’ve already started planning the honeymoon, and I’m so looking forward to it. I’m worried that pushing it off until November will result in cold weather where we’re hoping to go. I also really do not like the idea of getting married and not immediately leaving for a honeymoon.
So now, I’m not sure what to do. There’s a possibility that my fiance will be able to set everyone up for success at the event and not have to be there himself. But, we’re not sure yet. Another option, I guess, would be to move the wedding date, but we’ve already put the money down on the venue and hired a wedding planner (and paid her!). I don’t believe the venue has any earlier availability for 2014, and pushing it later will be difficult due to weather (we are getting married outside).
So, what do I do?! I’m pretty devastated right now, so sorry for the rant. I’m just stunned.
Post # 3
@TroubadourTango: Would you guys want to do a short Honeymoon now and then take the longer Honeymoon sometime next spring or fall? It’s not ideal, but it will keep him on his Boss’ good side and allow you guys to have a little vacation after the wedding.
Post # 4
@TroubadourTango: Have the wedding as scheduled and wait and see how the job issue turns out. Why waste all this negative energy when he may be able to go as planned?
Post # 5
@julies1949: Good point. I’m trying to compartmentalize my feelings on this, but it’s proving difficult. It’s hard to continue planning the wedding and think about putting more money down on reserving the caterer, rooms, etc. while knowing that this is lingering out there. But, you’re right, I should try not to worry about it.
@LoggerHead91207: That is potentially an option, but I’m worried I feel disappointed at the end of the wedding…like “oh, that’s over…now we get to have a small vacation near home!” As much as I would like to say that I won’t feel that way, I kind of know that I will.
Post # 6
Sucky situation! I second the idea of doing a mini getaway right after the wedding and then doing a bigger trip in the spring.
It is unfortunate but the job should probably come first, right?
Post # 7
@TroubadourTango: Then change your attitude about it. Instead of being upset that you get a little trip after the wedding, tell yourself that you’re lucky because you guys get TWO trips! Not only that, but you’ll have something to look forward to in a few months once everything calms down. You’ll really be able to enjoy and fully experience Europe without constantly worrying about how it will impact his new job.
Post # 8
I would plan your long honeymoon for after the work event. If you think of it this way, you get to look forward to your wedding and a small get away and THEN you get to look forward to ANOTHER big event – your long honeymoon!
Post # 9
@TroubadourTango: Well it seems that it is pretty important for him to be at this event so have your wedding and delay the honeymoon a couple weeks. Couples do this all the time and it really isn’t a huge issue. The trip is just as meaningful after a short delay.
Think of it this way, in delaying your honeymoon you get to rest, relax and recoop after the wedding (which I guarantee you will need) and your DH gets to participate in something that will aide in his success. Then after a great wedding, wonderful rest period and successful business venture the two of you get to celebrate all these things with a great trip. Sounds like a win-win to me!
Post # 10
Or you could save the long vacation for yor one year anniversary.
Post # 11
If the date for the even is set already, he needs to figure out if he needs time to prep and exactly how much time you have. Ifyou have a week, that’s still plenty. Where are you flying from? What about a week long vacation in the Carribean? Or if you’re on the east coast, you can do Ireland, or Paris/London in a week, or Spain.
Post # 12
Instead of being upset about it, change the way you think about it. To me, this is a no brainer – I would do something short for a few days right after the wedding (minimoon) and then plan a really awesome spring vacation as the actual honeymoon. It sucks, but his job is more important than a honeymoon.
I wouldn’t risk him missing out on an important annual event at a new job, even if his boss says it’s ok and he can set everyone up and not actually be there. The honeymoon isn’t booked and can be moved and him keeping his job and remaining in good graces with his boss are way more important than going immediately after your wedding on a honeymoon. I actually don’t know anyone who has done this – everyone has waited a few months to allow things to calm down and to have more than 1 thing to look forward to.
Post # 13
Our “honeymoon” will probably be a one year anniversary trip because of scheduling at work. It’s not big deal, it’s still your first big trip as a married couple even if it isn’t immediately after your wedding. If you are worried about November being too cold, what about spring? Is there a B&B near by you could go to for a few days after the wedding if you are set on a get away right after the wedding?
Post # 14
Do a mini-moon after the wedding and do a bigger honeymoon when it’s more convenient. My FI and I have had similar issues with scheduling, and we chose to delay our honeymoon until December (3 months after the wedding). This year is really important for FI’s career, and it would set him back massively at work to take 2-3 weeks off right after the wedding. It’s much easier for us to take time off in December when most people are out of the office for the holidays anyway. At first, I was a little upset that I couldn’t do the traditional honeymoon immediately after the wedding, so I totally know where you’re coming from. But, I took it as a blessing in disguise because we now have better pick of hotels, flights, and we have an excuse to not see our families over the holidays. Also, it’s going to be way more relaxing for us to do a honeymoon with no work stuff lingering over our heads 🙂
Post # 15
Why not just postpone your honeymoon until the spring when it’s warm? We got married in September but couldn’t go on our honeymoon right away because my husband got a movie. We went in January. It was fabulous. We did take a mini-moon before the wedding as well, it was like having two honeymoons!
Post # 16
We’re in a similar situation with our honeymoon. FH and I will be graduating from college in May. Then he will be starting a new job in June, only 2 months before our wedding. Since he is already having to take off a few days for the wedding, we decided to put off the honeymoon for a few months when he can take more time off from work. I was a little bummed at first, but know that it will be well worth it when the big trip comes. Plus, now we get 2 trips instead!