(Closed) Honeymoon fund versus gifts

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

How would you ask or elude to it?  I think having a honeymoon registry is one thing.. but straight asking for cash is another.  It’s a slippery slope.

Post # 4
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

We did Honeyfund.com, and everyone loved it. We got waaaaay more gifts from that than from our smaller traditional registry. We had both listed on our website, and spread the word if people asked.

Post # 5
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We used travelersjoy.com and spread the word through our website. I was a little nervous at first about it, but we actually received a good amount of our gifts through that website and I am happy we did it. We also made a small registry at Target for the guests who would be more inclined for that.

Given your situation I think it would be a fun and practical idea for you guys 🙂

 

Post # 6
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@helenc32:  Its your second wedding, his third, you both have good jobs, a home and don’t need anything and you want to beg for cash from your guests? 

There is a reason this feels tacky to you. 

Post # 7
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

I think a honeymoon fund is in no way “begging” for money any more than “begging” for money to be spent on a stand alone mixer. My cousin had something similar and people loved buying him and his new wife couple massages, kayaking activities, dinner certificates, etc to be used during heir honeymoon. They took a photo of each activity they were gifted and sent that along with their thank you.  They also had a special wedding fund set up where people could just direct deposit their gift into a safe account. Call it tacky, but I had a lot of family who felt much better about depositing this way over leaving a $100 check on a table all night

Post # 8
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I personally have no issue with honeymooon registries. As long as you guys can afford the trip you want regardless of whether anyone contributes to the registry, I say go for it.

Post # 9
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with @princss47- I don’t see how signing up for a honeymoon fund is considered “begging” for money or gifts. I don’t see how registering for a toaster or mugs is any better. My fiance and I are in the same boat, we combined our households when we moved in together and he is definitely against registering for more traditional gifts. We considered NOT registering for anything at all and have had MANY people ask about “where we’re registered”. In fact, we have an intimate Engagement party in the Spring and had several people ask about a registry then. I told them there was NO need for gifts and they insisted and ultimately sent gifts they chose, although this party was in NO WAY a reason for more gifts. We will not include any information in our invitations and will have information our wedding website. I think this is becoming more and more common so there is nothing “tacky” or tasteless about it. It’s ultimately up to the individual I guess!

Post # 10
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@lisa105: Could you join a thread and be NICE please?

Post # 12
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@lisa105: Why do you seem so bitter that you have to hurt people with your replies? I mean, I’m not even the OP and that reply “

Its your second wedding, his third, you both have good jobs, a home and don’t need anything and you want to beg for cash from your guests? 

There is a reason this feels tacky to you. “

…hurt !

You have a gorgeous ring and I believe you’re married so just learn to be nicer, ok?

Post # 13
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Love the idea of sending photos of the fun stuff the couple does together with the honeymoon gifts. Very cool!

Post # 14
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Sorry but I’m going to agree with Lisa.  She might’ve not been super tactful about saying it but it’s true.  At this point, after 2 or 3 failed marriages, when do you just do this kind of thing quietly?

Heck, I had 3 kids before getting married and felt that someone with 3 kids before hitting the altar lost all rights to a big fancy white wedding with all the trimmings. 

I could see if this were the second marriage for either or both … but third marriages?!  At what point do you just do this quietly without loads of fanfare? 

Post # 15
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@BanditGirl: Although I see how you both feel this way, gifts are always optional. Just because a guest is suggested to give a gift to a honeymoon fund doesn’t mean they have to. They could still bring whatever boxed gift they choose, or nothing at all.

The OP is hosting a wedding and deserves to celebrate just as much as a one-time bride. That wasn’t very nice to say those who have gotten married multiple times should only celebrate quietly.

Post # 16
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It rude to suggest guests give you any gift let alone “ask people for a donation towards the honeymoon.”  Weddings are not charity fundraisers. 

You really have to ask yourself how many times you can go to the well of the same family and friends – at least some of whom have presumably already given gifts for your previous marriages.  I think when you get to numbers three and four you are testing the patience and generosity of even the most loving friend or relative. 

Even if some guests haven’t been to your previous weddings if they know you’ve been married multiple times already, have good jobs and have everything you need – they’re going to be just a little appalled to be asked to donate toward a luxury vacation for you.  No, of course they don’t have to give but they should not be asked. 

The topic ‘Honeymoon fund versus gifts’ is closed to new replies.

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