Honeymoon fund/charity registry weird?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we tell guests that 25% of our honeymoon registry fund will be donated to local food pantry?
    Yes, combine them : (14 votes)
    48 %
    No, make separate funds for guests to choose from : (15 votes)
    52 %
  • Post # 3
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I recall attending a wedding where as a guest, there was a sign stating that we could pick the charity to donate to and the money that was going to be spent on the favors was going to charity instead. I didn’t find any offense to that.

    Ultimately it’s up to you; sign or no sign. Monetary gifts are given to the couple; how they want to spend it is up to them.

    Post # 4
    6953 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @nawella:  I think a local food pantry is neutral enough that it won’t be offensive! I really like the idea, actually. If you were donating to the NRA or ACLU or something, I’d say no, but I think most people are on board with feeding the poor. 

    Post # 5
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This sounds confusing to me. Etiquette aside I don’t think you need to be explaining where things are going. I know if I was a guest though and giving a couple money, I would want it to go to them to buy something, not a charity. So it would turn me off.

    Post # 6
    1386 posts
    Bumble bee

    I voted wrong.  🙁  I meant to say that you should have separate funds.

    Post # 7
    2473 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    I’m a little confused as to why you are donating other people’s money. If you want to give to the food pantry, great! Do it. If you guests want to donate to the food pantry, I’m sure they’ll take care of it on their own time. I’m not sure what it is about weddings these days that have turned into philanthropy-fests. 

    Is the food pantry very close to your heart? If so, maybe you can find another way to contribute- you could spend the morning of your bachelorette party volunteering there with your bridesmaids before you go out for a night on the town.

    Post # 8
    6166 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    why don’t you just take a portion of what ever wedding money you get and donate that.


    say, 25% or whatever you want to donate.




    Post # 10
    2473 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    @nawella:  If it is part of your culture, by all means! I just see a lot of people parading their charitable contributions to make themselves feel good, and I find that frustrating, especialy if it is at the expense of the guests (whether it is the literal expense of the guests or by saying, “in lieu of ______, we have made a chartiable contribution to ________.”).

    Since it is part of your culture, it’s totally fine. Maybe make a note somewhere for your non-Jewish guests explaining that, in your culture, you use this time of prosperity to help others.

    Post # 11
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @nawella:  That is pretty cool, I had never heard of this:

    “We always remember at life events too, that while they day is beautiful and  perfect, the world is still not whole and perfect and we have a duty to help  heal the world. It is often tradition to give a donation of some of the money that is gifted to the bride and groom to a cause that helps people.”

    That’s really great, the tradition of helping others. I think if you explain that people will feel better about doing it.

    Post # 12
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @nawella:  I think it’s awesome and you should just let people know how you’re using the money you receive.  If I was going to an event and found that out, I would give more.  I don’t think it’s ever in poor taste to give back to those less fortunate.

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