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I hate flying as well, but still do it fairly often - about 3 trips a year on average. I try to sleep through my flights.
I usually have one or two drinks before to get me to that "drowsy" state. Something mild, like a mimosa or screwdriver. I would take some sort of sleeping pill, but I never have before and the thought freaks me out a bit.
Go to your doctor and get some meds. I have to take anti-anxiety drugs about an hour before the flight. Once I am one the plane, I do alot of holding my husbands hand/clutching his arm and repeating in my head "everything is ok" and really focusing on my breathing. Bring things to distract you for the flight; books, magazines, download tv shows or movies onto an ipod, etc.
I completely understand your fear (the car crash argument doesn't help me at all either) but everything WILL be fine. For me, this helps: Everytime you start thinking about the flight in the upcoming weeks and start feeling nervous, force yourself to change your train of thought to how awesome your honeymoon is going to be. Try not to think about the flight until the day of and then think of it in little steps; 1. check-in, 2. security, 3. boarding, 4. take off, etc and each time you get through a step you are one step closer to exiting the plane in Jamaica. It makes the anxiety more manageable for me and helps to keep me from getting overwhelmed.
I was going to suggest going to the doctor for meds too. Ask for something that will knock you out if nothing else, then take it half hour to an hour before boarding (make sure Hubs knows you're taking it, and go minimal on your carry on) and let yourself sleep through the flight. You'll probably be drowsy the rest of the day too, but if it gets you there that's what's important.
PS - Has anyone seen the movie "French Kiss"? She hates flying and goes to this training thing where they simulate flights and she freaks out. It's a pretty funny scene, even though panic is never funny in real life.
When you say that you felt the plane feel like it was slowing down, that's a perfectly normal part of flight! There's a few reasons that this happens, namely:
-You had reached your cruising altitude, the pilot "trimmed up" and leveled the plane out. When that happens, they back off the engines (kind of like when you reach the top of a hill when you drive your car).
-Planes are designed much in the same way cars are with respect to speed control. Sometimes you need to go faster, sometimes you need to go slower, but in the end, as long as you maintain a minimum airspeed (a lot lower than you'd expect!) you'll get where you're going without a problem. :)
-You went into a bank (turn); these feel faster because the plane actually speeds up slightly when they turn (has to do with the speed of the air that you need to have over the wing to stay in flight) but once you've made the turn, you level out and "slow down".
It's been a while since I had to do aerodynamics, but those were the first things that came to mind. Also, a friendly reminder *not* to worry if you see the wings of the plane flex slightly during flight--they're designed to do that! :-)
I'm an aerospace engineer and I *hate* to fly. A lot of the stuff I mentioned above contributed to my fears; but once I understood why certain things happened, it helped a lot. Am I a great passenger now? No...but that's why they serve booze on planes. ;-)
Hope that helps and let me know if you have any other questions!
Sorry to hear that. I was just on vacation a few weeks ago and had all kinds of anxiety - and I used to not be nervous flyer, either. What part of flying causes you the most anxiety? For it's the turbulence...honestly I just prayed whenever I felt it! I would investigate the anti-anxiety pill route. Or maybe half a sleeping pill?
I used to get very anxious during turbulence, and I fly 15-20 times a year. What helped me was reading the back columns of Ask the Pilot on Salon.
http://www.salon.com/technology/ask_the_pilot/
The author is a pilot and does a great job of explaining the mechanics of flying in understandable terms. Once I realized that turbulence to a pilot was like driving down a bumpy road, I felt better.
My fiance gets anxious, too. The meds helped him out for a while when he needed it, but they definitely knocked him out. Once he realized that the plane on Lost crashed because Desmond didn't put the numbers in, not that it just fell out of the sky, he felt better too ;-)
@lillyfaith- I've taken a sleeping pill with a glass of wine before, it's not too bad and usually knocks me out, so that could work
@ aloweha-The little steps at a time might help a lot. I haven't ever flown with FI so maybe having him around to hold my hand will help as well, he usually calms me down when my anxiety is bad :-) I do have a xanax script but I am out with no refill. I was thinking about going to the doctor but right now I don't have insurance...maybe it would be worth it for the peace of mind, or maybe he would call it in for me without me having to come in?
@ Daydream- I have seen French Kiss and that scene cracks me up but also reminds me of how I feel. In fact after I read that I had to show FI, so maybe he could have a better idea of how I feel.
Thanks all, I'll probably try to go to the doctor to get a refill on my xanax!
Haha, there were all sorts of responses added while I was typing up my response!
@ astromeg- that does actually help a bit, I guess the not understanding it does contribute to my anxiety, along with the not being in control.
@MissLLC- I think that it's a combination of a lot of things- turbulance, not being in control, the noises and the feelings, the closed in space- one of those things at a time doesn't really bother me but all combined it's like AHH! I think the anxiety meds are the way to go.
@ Texican- Thank you for that article, I'm going to go look into it now!
i know exactly how you feel. i flew for the first time last march and it was awful (nothing wtih the plane or anything just me). but then when i got a promotion at work i found out i would have to fly back and forth every week for 2-3 months...i was mortified!!! and i would have to be by myself.
i took my Sidour with me (a book of prayers) and there is a Wayfayers prayer and i said it during EVERY lift off and if there was any turbulance. it was a godsend....literally. i am not sure if you are religious but if you are this is something to look into. even just holding that little book made me feel more safe. :D
that is what helped me bc i dont drink or take meds (if i dont have to) and this was for me. but honestly i really debated on drinking bc i am sure that would help too.
you will be just fine. :D
More people do die in car crashes, but then again, at any given moment way more people are in a car than a plane... And even if you do it %age wise...I think with all that goes into the TSA and regulations for airlines and the fact that companies want a good rep to sell tickets...it's just common sense...so I totally get why that doesn't work for you!
Sleeping pills or have a drink would be my best answer. I mean honestly, it's out of your control so there's no point wasting your time worrying about it... I know sometimes it's hard to control our thoughts/emotions.
Last year I flew a lot. And in that, there were a few flights that were over 15 hrs!
I've honestly only been terrified once... and it can be really scary! Especially when it's a red eye flight and you feel like you're the only one who knows that something seems off :-) In the end though, flying is safer than driving. Take some meds, lay your head on your FH's shoulder and come to in paradise! :-)
Lol- sorry, just saw the car crash stat thing... But, I've been in multiple car accidents. Never in a plane crash :-)
I don't mind taking off or flying but I hate landing!!!
I usually chew a lot of gum, have a drink and maybe take a sleeping pill if you want to sleep during the flight. Reading mags me feel sick so I don't do that...I do listen to my iPod though :)
I pretend im not on a plane! I try and clear my mind of everything during takeoff, and then when any turbulence develops. It isn't perfect but it helps me get through flights and I probably fly 5-6x a year.
Ugh I feel your pain I do not like flying but I do want to go to bora bora for our honeymoon but that flight is soooo long kinda freaks me out! : /
I can't relate to that particular fear, I counted that I got on 52 planes last year.
But I do have other fears, and there are two ways to approach them: indulge your fears, or fight them. I prefer fighting them. In this case, you don't want to become a person who has to turn down a job, miss an opportunity, limit your adventures due to your fear. If rationale argument doesn't work in this case, try to find calming techniques (I favor breathing practices).
At the end of the day, fear is just an emotion. You wouldn't let other undesirable emotions rule your life.
Yeah, I would schedule an appt with your doctor and see if he can give you a sedative.
By the way, my hm is in 2.5 weeks. I can't wait! I'm going to Cancun!
If you get meds, hope it works out for you!
I am super claustraphobic so flying makes me nervous just because I am in such a small space. I stick my nose in a book and it takes my mind off of it. If you dont think that will help, you can ask your doctor for a couple doses of ativan or some other kind of fast acting anxiety pill. They will usually give it to you if you tell them the circumstances. My doctor literally gave me a 5 pill prescription. A couple for the way out there and a couple for the way back. My hardest time is take off. I know we are still on the ground so it is all I can do to not ask to get off the plane. Once we are in the air I am fine.
Good Luck!
I so am right there with you. 
I've never been a good flyer and my fear seems to have gotten worse in the past few years. For me, it's lack of control... not knowing what's going on in the front and if something were to go awry (like in a car), there's nothing I can physically do to stop it from happening. Taking off and landing are ok for me- it's the entire flight that makes me quiver. The slowing down sensation, the air pockets, the bumps, the out of no where turbulence... yep, they get to me. This is the reason I'll probably never be able to handle a flight longer than 4 hours.
I usually go to my doc who gives me a script for 2 Xanax pills- one for the way there and the other for the return. The issue is that it zonks me out so much that our 1st day at whatever destination we're going to is completely wasted as I sleep off the meds. However, I feel it's worth it to not feel the fear because the Xanax REALLY works.
You'll be fine, though! I'm always telling myself on a flight that it's an irrational fear and all will be ok. And it always is. 
Have a great time!!
I used to fly a lot alone, to the point that I could sleep through take off without any sort of sleep aide. Then, when that Air France flight went down over the Atlantic, and I was flying less, I got inside my head and started to freak out. Luckily my trips with anxiety did not involve flying alone so I had someone to squeeze. Ultimately, I fly better now because I focus on the destination. I want to go to the place I'm flying too much to sacrafice tht too my desire to stay on the ground if that makes sense. I try to get a window seat so I can have an idea of where we are and also so I can sleep against the wall. I also prefer to fly over land now but that is mostly unrealistic. I think you just need to fly through the fear. I worked in the travel industry and knew sever people who feared flying but worked for airlines, they started out fine and over time developed a level of anxiety, one former colleague could only fly in the front of the plane or she would ask to be put on the next flight if she could not get a seat in the front. Don't over think the flight, focus on Jamica and take a nap.
P.S. I'm flying to Jamica on Thursday for a DW so I'll let you know if there's anything to watch out for :)
Talk to your primary care physician about this ASAP! You can be medicated to help avoid an anxiety attack or if you start to have one.
If you aren't comfotable with that...I recommend taking some benadryl and sleeping through it.
I am scared of flying too.
I've done the sleeping pill thing too, or even just Tylenol PM (I am really tall do I get legs cramps when I'm squished in little plane seats). And it's just enough to calm me down/make me doze during the flight, and I'm usually not groggy afterward.
Good luck!
I had no idea so many people fly all drugged up, lol. Maybe this is why it takes SOOOOOO long to load and unload a plane, lol.
I fly a lot in general. I use it as nap and magazine time =].
I never, ever used to have trouble flying until last summer when I flew to NY for my brother's wedding. I had just started watching LOST and could not get those images out of my head! I almost couldn't even get myself on the plane it was so bad, definitely a panic attack situation.
And now we are going to Jamaica too in a little over a month, so last week I got a prescription from my doc for some Xanax. I know a lot of people use sleeping pills, but my doc said that the anxiety meds might work better for me because they are fast acting and will help me calm down and relax moreso than sleeping pills. She also suggested that I try a trial run of the pills beforehand to see how I react and see if I need only a half pill or a full pill.
So, like other posters have said, talk to your doc and see if they have something to recommend. If you don't like pills, I know a lot of people have used meditation type techniques successfully as well. That is what my mom does and she is more relaxted on planes than in real life!
Ugh I hate flying too... both for anxiety reasons and also because I get motion sickness and can't read or sleep on the flight. Lucky for my FI's dad used to have his pilot's license and he's gone up in every kind of plane small to massive a thousand times so he's really good at calming me down when I get over anxious. Generally I just tell myself there is no other option, it is only x hours and I WILL get through it.
Also one strategy I use a lot not just for this but for any time in life I'm scared about something is to say to myself "okay if my best friend was scared about this would I think that was reasonable?" Usually the answer is no. I think of what I would tell a friend who was scared about how often people fly and how the REASON that plane crashes make the news is because they're so very rare, etc and that helps me a little.
@Sep_Queen: Hi. I just wanted to know how your flight to PPT and then to Bora Bora was. I'm deathly afraid of the inter-island flight because of the small planes. I had a full blown panic attack back in January before the plane even took off so I ended up missing my entire trip to the Bahamas. I actually ended up holding up the plane to get off and get my luggage from the cargo. It was a small plane, most likely the same size plane from Papeete to Bora Bora. My dream is to go to Bora Bora, but I'm hesitant about booking the trip. What helps me on the bigger planes are the air vents above your head cuz it feels like the windows are open, but I heard Air Tahiti Nui doesn't have that unless you're sitting in business/first class. I have been prescribed Xanax, but I'm nervous that it might not work.
To me it's that flying is so different, many of us don't do it very often at all and there's all the security checkpoints and things to remember that it can be more frazzling than getting into a car, which most people do daily. So, it's normal to be a little nervous about it.
Call your dr for anti-anxiety meds like lorezapam. It will take the edge off. Good luck! And don't worry!
I hate flying (it just freaks me out. I make sure I always have a good book with me so that I am distracted while on a plane so I do not think about being 60,000ft in the air too much lol), but that being said, it's more dangerous to drive (which is something most of us do everyday) than to fly.
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So tonight I was watching a movie and there was a scene in a plane and all the sudden it hit me- I'm going to be flying for our honeymoon in three weeks. I haven't flown in three years but I use to take trips at least once a year and it never really bothered me until three years ago. On the flight back I could feel the plane slowing down (or something? I don't know it was weird) and it freaked me out. In the past couple years I have had some anxiety issues and I am now terrified to fly. I pushed it out of mind until tonight but I literally was in tears with my FI telling him I couldn't do it. So bees I need some help, what should I do so I can actually get on the plane to head to Jamaica?
P.S. The "more people die in car crashes" argument doesn't really do much for me.