(Closed) Honeymoon Jar?!

posted 5 years ago in Honeymoons
Post # 3
Hostess
3381 posts
Sugar bee

Yeah, do not do this.  It is distasteful and rude.  You will get a lot of flack from bees on here about how tacky it is to ask for money at all.  Let alone having a jar for all to see.

If you are really keen on having a “honeyfund” there are websites online where guests can give donations for specific things like dinner, or a day out – it works in the same way as a registry.    Again, you will get a lot of flack on here for going the honeyfund route, the general consensus is that you should not expect gifts, your guests attendance should be enough (in the same way the ettiquette police say you shouldn’t put registry information in with the invitation). I understand the desire for money, but your guests should not be funding your honeymoon.

ETA: sorry if I come across as harsh, but I agree with your FMIL and I think most people would

Post # 4
Member
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i haven’t seen that done before but i can see it going both ways. as a guest i wouldn’t be opposed to it be cause i don’t feel pressured to give since it’s just sitting there, but i can see how others would feel it’s tacky. 

have you heard of the money dance? when dinner is over and dancing is going on, the bride and groom have a money dance. people dance with either groom or bride and basically pin money onto them. it’s a tradition depending on your culture and the region you reside. i’ve seen people more open to this because it’s a tradition. but it also seems more pressuring than the jar because all eyes are on the dance floor during the dance.

Post # 5
Hostess
3381 posts
Sugar bee

@bunnybunny:  That’s true.  I have heard of it, but my culture doesn’t call for it.  I know there are a lot of cultures where not bringng a monetary gift is rude.  I agree it may be more pressure too.

Post # 6
Member
8016 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with FMIL. So not only will guests bring you a gift but you expect them to also give you money? That just seems really gift grabby to me.

Unless it is a cultural thing (like a money dance is for some) then it is rude to ask your guests to put their hand in their pocket at your wedding.

Post # 7
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

People already come to the wedding with a gift, I think it’s rude to ask for more money. Of course you’re not actually saying it, but putting out a jar is a lot of pressure. I would pass. 

Post # 9
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I give money at weddings anyway, so I don’t see a problem with this. Another option is that you can go to your travel agent and set up a honeymoon registry. That way people know what you really would appreciate.

It seems this is a more common thing to do in Australia because I notice a lot of Bee’s that aren’t use to it……

@ladyartichoke:  I agree I think it is what your culture is use too. 

 

Post # 10
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think this is a good idea at all… it does appear greedy. Anyone who really wants to give you cash will do so inside a card, unsolicited (especially if you haven’t registered anywhere). The message of the jar is: “You haven’t spent enough money on me yet – more please.”

Post # 11
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I have to agree with PPs – I think it’s rude as well. My SO and I actually took this idea from Pinterest only we’ve decided to make our own “honeymoon fund” and put all of our loose change in there to help us save some money! 

Post # 12
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I agree with PP that setting up a honeymoon registry with a travel agent is probably the better way to go. You will still get money towards the honeymoon, but it seems a bit more polite than putting out the jar.

Post # 13
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Spread the word that you’re trying to pay for a honeymoon and would prefer cash. Or, create a honeymoon registry with a travel agent, as PP suggested, in which people can ACTUALLY pay for things for the honeymoon. This works better for add-ons, though, since not a lot of people will be able to shell out round trip airfare for two, etc.

Post # 14
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

why not just have a honeymoon shower? the jar is totally tacky, its like a tip jar

Post # 15
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Tacky, distasteful, rude, greedy, all of the above!

Post # 16
Member
12568 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, I think it’s very, very rude to do this.  It’s off-putting and I would be uncomfortable at a shower that did this. 

I like the idea of keeping it at home for your loose change, but please don’t put it out at events with other people.

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