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What is everyone's thoughts on honeymoon registries? Do you think they are tacky?
You should add a poll :)
I personally don't think so. Especially if you're a couple who have lived together for some time, you may have everything, or most, of what you need.
You will get strong responses on this one : ) It's a big divider.
I personally think they are inappropriate. Where I come from we almost always do cash as wedding gifts but specifically asking for cash is not OK no matter how you do it. And let's face it, a honeymoon registry is the same thing as flat out saying you prefer cash. They would absolutely not be accepted among my family and friends.
But there are many people who love them and believe that their guests would be totally up for the idea.
I don't know. I think it just depends on how your family and friends would respond. We made one that is through Carnival Cruise Line and it's for excursions and stuff. And we haven't gotten any negative responses. But, it's not cash, we can't withdraw it.
Well I am doing one. FI and I are in our 30's own a home and blah blah. We registered for some stuff as well (crate and barrell) and then for the honeymoon. We were so surprised at the positive reaction it got us. We did use honeyfund.com which let's you post what you're trying to pay for, so some of our relatives are excited because they felt like they are buying us an experience while we are on the honeymoon. I think it's better than not registering for anything at all.
@VVtobe: I'm in the camp that think they're tacky. Its just not proper to ask people to fund a vacation you can't afford.
I don't have a problem with them at all. A couple we know had one and I was more than happy to contribute and give them some money to help them enjoy their honeymoon. Also, you shouldn't assume that if they have a honeymoon registry they CAN"T afford the honeymoon at all, period. They might just think that they don't need anything off a traditional registry.
I don't think they are tacky at all. I usually give cash at weddings anyway, but it's nice to be able to devote it to an amazing part of the honeymoon.
I guess it could be considered tacky if it's the ONLY place you register - it could look like all you want is money. But I've only seen honeymoon registries along with one or two traditional registries. If people don't want to give cash, the B&G are also registered at other places, so people can still give traditional gifts.
@lisa105: They're not necessarily paying for the trip. People buy the couple certain extras such as champagne, snorkeling trip, massages, etc.
lol @lisa105 - our honeymoon is paid for already - 4 months out. But we did it because people will be able to gift us experiences instead of just things
I personally don't find them to be tacky but I also see it more as being given "travel credit" not cash (in the sense that we didn't put the money towards a TV, computer, furniture, etc). We used Honeyfund and every contribution went directly towards paying for the extras on our trip.
Our home was already established so we needed few kitchen/bedding basics (we still had small registries at BBB and Macy's). We wanted to give our guests another option. It was very well received as about 1/3 of our guests contributed through Honeyfund. I do think that reactions could be different based on where you live and who your guests are.
Also: We were not the couple to plan an elaborate honeymoon that we couldn't really afford then beg for monetary gifts. Our trip would have happened regardless of the contributions made.
Its not tacky. My FI and I have a honeymoon registry. Whats the difference between telling someone you want a $300 coffee pot compared to $300 put towards a flight to France? There really isn't much difference to me. With my group of family and friends it means they don't have to worry about going shopping and deciding on what to get me. Simply bringing cash, or a AMEX giftcard makes it convenient and easy!
@soontobemrsreeves: Well, you're really not supposed to be "telling" anyone what to get you. Registry information should only ever be given out if asked for.
Traditionally, wedding gifts were to help the new bridal couple set up housekeeping. Now that a lot of couples live together and/or are older, they don't want or need those type things BUT, rather than just saying they don't need anything, they attempt to direct their gusts bo buy things for them they DO want and that's where it can get murky and veer off into tacky or rude.
I think they're tacky...You're asking people to pay for a vacation and I agree that I don't think it's appropriate.
When I first saw that it was an option I thought it was a good idea, but FI is completely against it. We've been together for 8 years, have everything we could really need, but there's just no way to bring it up without being tacky. I dont have a wedding website and we're having a very small registry, I'm more hoping that it drives people to give gift cards and cash. If my mom wants to set something up for us (she was all about it) and tell people, thats her perogative.
I don't think its tacky. Lets be honest, everyone wants cash not a coffee pot or toaster for their wedding. But some people like to buy gifts so this way people can gift you champagne, a massage, an excursion, etc.
@lisa105: I understand your point, apparently I used the wrong word. I should have said "ask" instead of "telling". And for the record most people give registry information in their invitations, therefore registry information is not really asked for now is it? Like everything in a wedding, to each their own. It would be considered tack either way, asking for a coffee pot or asking for money. In a honeymoon registry your not asking your guests to each give you a certain amount, however in a traditional registry your asking a guest to purchase something with a specific dollar amount on it. We could all go on and on forever. Point is, whether you ask for a coffee pot or you ask for a donation of which ever amount they choose to your honeymoon, is really the same thing. You can't say honeymoon registry is tacky over gift registry when its basically the same thing!
@Aumuller: I know that we think that way, but my family hasn't been to a wedding in 20 years, they have a very different vision of what a couple should get for presents. And not everyone will be on board with it, so I'd rather not rock the boat, you know?
I love them. I won't personally be doing one but I love when other couples do it. I'd so much rather give something cool like an elephant ride or snorkeling than a mixer. I love that I can be a part of their trip of a life time. They can always save up and buy that mixer later but they don't get another honeymoon and if I can help make that honeymoon even more amazing than I'm thrilled.
Also generally I think people should get what they want and need. I wish it wasn't taboo for people to ask for cash because if thats what they need than I'd be happy to give that over dish towels they don't want.
"And for the record most people give registry information in their invitations, therefore registry information is not really asked for now is it?"
Well, I don't know if most do but they really, really shouldn't because that is incredibly tacky. In fact, any mention of an expectation of gifts from the bridal couple is a no-no etiquette wise. Registry information is only supposed to be given if specifically asked for.
And I have to say that no, I don't really see a traditional bridal registry and a honeymoon registry as comperable. The traditional registry contains items that consist of traditional wedding gifts that help a couple set up housekeeping and typically contains a number of items at different price points so a guest can choose something that fits their budget. A honeymoon registry is for a luxury and it sort of amounts to asking for cash which is pretty much the height of tacky.
Anyway, I'm not trying to harsh on anyone who has one - as you said, to each their own but I do, personally, find them in questionable taste.
@lisa105: I think that times have changed and while traditional bridal registries may have been really helpful for couples in the past, when they didn't live together and didn't have any of the things they needed to set up house, in this day and age a lot of couples already have those things and are really looking for another option to give guests who would like to gift them something. I think honeymoon registries also allow guests to feel like they are a "part of" the couple's honeymoon, which helps personalize it more than giving plain cash. I feel like honeymoon registries are kind of an in between options.
No one forces anyone to purchase from a honeymoon registry so I feel that if a guest isn't comfortable with it, for whatever reason, they should just decline to use it and gift something else, whether that's cash or a physical present.
I agree with aumuller, and i love what snowy said too! High five, ladies! :)
@hilsy85: Well yes, I agree times have changed in terms of how and when people get married but I think the principles around the etiquette still stand. But then again, I'm a bit of an etiquette stickler.
*shrug* At the end of the day, I personally wouldn't do a honeymoon registry but I wouldn't do a flop and twitch if someone else did. As long as they don't mention it in the invitation! 
I hate the word "tacky" and I think it's used waaaaaaaaay to much in regards to weddings.
Additionally I don't really understand why suggesting assistance with your honeymoon is any more tacky than asking for assitance filling your home with appliances? I am not American so I totally don't understand the whole registy business. We did both a traditional registry and a honeymoon registry but I expect only Mr's side will be using them.
Here's an article I came across on Modern Bride when researching honeymoon registries and one of the reasons we went with Honeymoon Wishes.
http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/images/images_press/press_1_01_pdf.pdf?334abb0d
@cbee: i'll make a poll!
i am with the people who say it is not tacky. no more tacky than regular registries, which i don't think are tacky. i am doing a honeymoon registry partly because i am having a destination wedding and so i don't want gifts brought to the location and because FI and I don't need or even have space for more things! and when i first heard about honeymoon registries years ago, i thought it was the coolest thing ever. so as wedding guest, i would never in a million years think it was tacky. when i go to weddings i just see it that i have to give a gift of a certain amount. if i don't give enough (even being a "poor" student) i feel rude. so also as a guest, whether there is a honeymoon registry, regular registry or no registry, i am outputting the same amount of money and i could care less in what form it goes out!
Honestly, as much as I want to be okay with them, I'm really not. I wouldn't be offended if I saw one, but I was not comfortable with the idea of making one of our own! It would have been nice though - we went on an expensive honeymoon, and I probably would have splurged a little more if I'd gone with that kind of registry. At the end of the day, I didn't feel comfortable registering for anything too non-traditional.
The question is, what is the point? If you don't have a registry at all, people will typically give you cash. If you have a honeymoon registry, they will still give you cash. The only difference is that in the latter case, some of the cash will be taken by the honeymoon registry, and you'll never see it.
I think it is tacky to ask for someone to pay for your honeymoon, but not paying for things you can do that are above and beyond because they will feel like they are giving you the "experience." One of my friends recently got back from her honeymoon, and she was surprised with chocolate covered strawberries, champagne, and a coupon for a couples massage (it was a wedding gift given from her Aunt). I definitely wouldn't mind that gift!
I don't think they are tacky at all. A lot of you ladies have made fantastic points!
A "traditional" registry is asking for gifts of set prices. Quite honestly, all of the registries I have received (and I have been to at least 20 weddings in the last 4 years) are couples asking for expensive china, glasses, kitchen items are that are crazy and they would never use, etc...
My FI and I are using one because people have already started asking us what we want and because we live together, we don't want the "traditional" gifts. We don't see a need for over the top china or glassware.
By doing a honeymoon registry, our guests can contribute anything (or nothing) they choose. They can give us an experience like zip-lining through the mountains at St. Lucia or kayaking to a private island for a hike (experiences we would value far more than a coffee maker we will just return).
Guests also have the option of not contributing. We have booked a honeymoon we can afford regardless and anything we get above and beyond will go towards making it more memorable, it's not like we can take the money out for ourselves.
What you need to remember is that it's you and your FI's choice and about what works best for you. Chances are, if you register for a few smaller things around your home you would like to update as well as a honeymoon registry, you won't find a single person on your guest list that will be offended.
Best wishes! <3
I don't really like it. If people want to give you cash they can. But I think its tacky to just ask for cash to fund a honeymoon.
I'm all for the honeymoon registry! I think it's a unique and creative way to receive something that you will actually use. That last thing I want on my wedding day is a toaster or blender, but a candlelight dinner in St. Lucia would be awesome.
I had two regular registries at Macys and Williams Sonoma, and I also set up a registry site on sandals.com (it's super easy). Our guests loved the options. We didn't receive many gifts for our Honeymoon, but we used the gifts to treat ourselves to a couple's massage. It was neat that we got to have an experience as a gift.
As a side note, I don't recommend a massage after a sunburn, lol
I think it's totally tacky. If you can't afford a vacation, why shold someone else fund it for you? Live within your means. I think it shows a sense of "entitlement" and is overall in bad taste.
@ADBK2011: It doesn't have to be cash. They can buy excursion packages, or spa experiences, or a dollar ammount for you to spend however you want.
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