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I loved the idea. We didn't need anything more for our apartment right now, but what we do need is to get away after teh craziness with a honeymoon. We have a registry for it, but people aren't using it. They are mostly older, and they aren't too comfortable with putting money online, essentially. In the end, my mom has heard that most people are giving us cash.
So, I don't know, if given the chance, I'd do it again.We'll have to wait and see after the wedding gets here, I guess. So far, there have only been a few "gifts" purchased.
My fiances friend signed up for one of those for his wedding. My fiance and i were going to buy something from the registry when we noticed that the website takes a percentage of the money ppl give the couple. When we saw that we decided we would rather give them money directly.
Thanks Kittyachi - I am interested to see what more of the hive has to say about this as well!
I think it is a great idea and all of the friends that I have mentioned it to (when they asked about what I was thinking about doing for a registry) have really liked the idea!
My wedding is going to be mainly a young crowd - so they wouldn't mind doing the online payment!
I also interested to know if anyone has had a really successful one?
I prefer gift registries, but I also understand that not every couple needs a bunch of stuff for their house, so it's hard sometimes. While I think every couple can always find a few things they want (not necessarily need) for guests who are more traditional, I'm also okay with contributing to a dream vacation if that's what they want.
I also prefer honeymoon registries where you can purchase extras, and not just a hotel room one night. For example, a friend of a friend of mine recently got married and they registered at Macys, and also, for a Disney honeymoon. The honeymoon registry had all kinds of things on it like a dinner at Cinderella's castle, a honeymoon photography shoot, carriage ride, etc. I would much rather purchase a specific event for them, if possible, and that's what most people did. So the couple paid for the hotel rooms and flights, but once they got there, they had all their activities paid for my wedding guests, which I thought was really nice.
But really, I'm indifferent when it comes to honeymoon registries.
I was hesitant at first, but after speaking to my grandmother about it, we decided to include a honeymoon registry along with our traditional registry. I think in this day and age, many couples aren't living at home until they're married and have close to everything, or even 2x everything they might need, to set up a home. It's nice to give another option for those situations, but I think it's also nice to include some traditional items on a regular registry and give the people that would like to give you a gift the option to choose.
Yes I was thinking about doing this as well. I don't like that there is a fee associated with using most of the sites. One I did find allowed for us the bride and groom to pay the fees instead of the guests. Not sure which way is better. We are having a hard time finding enough items because we both own our own homes so we already have duplicates of everything. So we'll see what comes along!
I know many members of my family find a honeymoon registry very rude, as people are not supposed to know how much a gift costs. Also, presents are supposed to be something that the giver gets pleasure in giving -- not just giving something because it's obligated.
So, given that, it's not surprising that at my first wedding, I didn't really get anything off my registry although we did get a lot of similar items to what we registered for. lol..
I kind of find the whole notion of asking for presents a little off putting, but to each his own.
@CurlyDreamer - So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you dislike the entire concept of registering for gifts, not honeymoon-specific registries.
I think it's a great idea. Although being given something is lovely, in this day and age most couples live together for a long time before they get married. There's only so many toasters that you can fit into your kitchen. And although occasionally people will think up a lovely gift that it's unique to be in your home that you haven't thought of already - not all of your guests are able to do that.
I know that my friends and family are more than happy to give us money because they know that we're putting it towards the honeymoon. However, when a couple friend of mine got married this summer, they asked for money "towards their money pot" and got very few donations because their guests weren't sure where the money was going.
So I think it's great. People are able to not have to overly think about what to give you but they also know that they're giving you something much more precious than just money - the memories of your honeymoon.
I really like the idea. My SO and I already have all sorts of kitchen gadgets and such, and I don't really want a lot more "stuff." But I would love to have help paying for a honeymoon that we would not otherwise be able to afford. I also like the sites where they break down the costs of different activities! Then you can thank the giver for the specific experience.
I don't like them. I guess I'm old fashioned, but I didn't even realize that this is a trend, honestly. I think it's weird to ask people to pay for your vacation. Presents for a wedding are kind of a given, because people are used to buying some sort of gift for numerous occassions (birthdays, graduations, house warmings, etc.)... But something about having a bunch of people contribute to aspects of one vacation doesn't sit right with me. Maybe it's just as arbitrary as giving a china set, I don't know. What about using the cash you get to pay for parts of the honeymoon/vacation?
I'm pro-honeymoon so while gift registries in general I'm kinda indifferent to, I like the idea of helping start off someones marriage in a good way and let them take a good trip then some of the sometimes weird stuff that's on gift registries (hot dog toaster anyone)
I guess I'm not seeing the difference in traditional registries and honeymoon registries. I mean, you're asking them for specific items of which you know the price because that's the gift you want. Honeymoon registries are the same. You need that gift. Do you have to go on a honeymoon? No, I guess not. But do you have to have that exact kitchen towel? Not really.
We don't have the money to go on a honeymoon because we spent it on our very inexpensive wedding. So, if we want a traditional honeymoon, then we will be counting on the registry. If not, then we will actually be staying home or maybe driving somewhere local. However far the presents get us.
I totally agree that it's awkward that you know exactly how much somebody spent on your gifts from the registry. I just think that since they would have given you a gift anyway, the development of the registry is such a simple and nice guideline for the guest. Not only will they know the types of things you need for your home, but also what style you like in those items you need. I just think that registering for a honeymoon on top of that seems greedy. I truly mean NO offense. I've just never heard of anyone pitching in for a vacation for newlyweds. It seems like something more appropriate to do for a couple's 30th wedding anniversary or something. I don't know. I think that any extra cash you get from your guests is fair game to be used for the honeymoon, but asking for hotel rooms and massages as a gift for your new life together seems odd. But so does a tea kettle, come to think of it... :)
The only reason we want to use a Honeymoon Registry is because we don't want a lot of crap for the house when we already ditched our duplicates when we moved in together. It seems better than just asking for cash. Personally, I'd rather have the cash since we can't really afford a honeymoon right after paying for the wedding.
I'll be the odd one out who thinks they are rude. If you can't afford something, then you don't go outside your means and ask your guests to pay for it. You take a honeymoon you can afford and then save for a bigger trip later in life.
Many guests don't like the notion at all of non-tangible gifts (which includes money and giftcards) so they will want to go to an actual store and buy you something. Everyone can use something tangible even if you don't need it. Gifts are never required but many people don't feel right attending without bringing something and if you don't tell them what you want or need, you will end up with lots of stuff you don't want that you can't return anywhere. A couple can always register for stuff that needs to be replaced, fun stuff that you wouldn't normally buy yourself, or something in general that fits you as a couple. If you share a certain hobby such as camping or board games then register for something related to that. That is alot less rude overall than asking people to pay for a couple's massage at a resort.
I'm in the process of consolidating both of our stuff into his house right now and it's so hard! I can't imagine getting more "stuff"!
We started a honeymoon registry and now his parents and my grandparents are both offering to pay for big chunks of the trip because they are uncomfortable with a honeymoon registry. Its a wonderful problem to have except that we really just need wedding reception money from them instead. Not sure what we're gonna do.
For me, the more important thing from a guest's perspective is -- this is what the couples wants/is asking for, so this is what I'm going to give them. If it's a set of bath towels, that's fine. Or if it's a couples massage in Bali, that's fine too. I think it would be really nice to be able to contribute to somone's honeymoon and their amazing memories.
From the perspective of the registrant, I don't have a problem with honeymoon registries (my FI and I are probably going to end up doing one). It's not that we can't afford a honeymoon and are trying to get our guests to pay for a vacation we otherwise wouldn't take -- it's more, we don't need housewares or bedding or anything. If our guests are going to spend money on us, why not have it be for something we really want?
I am completely indifferent. It is totally up to the couple. I probably wouldn't do a honeymoon registry, more like a downpayment for a house registry because we need a house more than we need any of that stuff... but in addition to that i'd definitely go with china and the more traditional items because that's the stuff i love. it would be entirely up to the guest.. acutally the more that i think about it i probably wouldn't register for a downpayment, i'd just ask my hostesses to pass along that we're saving for a house and would love to receive a monetary gift to help with the downpayment, but that we're also registered at these stores so that they can do whichever they wanted to or none of the above. however i don't mind it if a couple does a honeymoon registry or anything like that.
I like the idea of a honeymoon registry if a couple wants to take a honeymoon. My understanding is that couples usually plan to take the honeymoon anyway, so they're not really reaching outside of their means, as someone suggested. In the end, if you don't get any money, you'd still have to pay for it, and if you've planned it for immediately after the wedding, chances are good that you've already paid for it.
There are only two things that I dislike about honeymoon registries. First, I went to three weddings this year in which the couple had started a honeymoon registry; for each, you went through the whole process online, picking out the gift and the price point, etc., and then you get to the end, and there's no credit card option! It just said "cash at the reception" or "check at the reception." I found it annoying and ended up just ordering them a gift from one of their gift registries.
The other weird thing was that on Honeyfund (at least the one I looked at) asks what form of "payment" you'd like to make to the couple. Now THAT makes me feel weird--a "payment" They should just say gift! That's what it is! Payment has a so many other negative connotations.
Other than that, I think it's great.
p.s. a travel agency in my hometown (Travel Cafe in Billings, MT) offers a bridal registry for honeymoons that doesn't charge the couple or the guests a service charge, and in fact they give you the first $25 for your honeymoon. And they take credit cards. Of course, you have to book through them, but it seemed like a good deal. The only drawback was that they don't allow you to talk about the different "activities" people can pay for, it's really just a way of taking "payments." So if you care, you'd have to talk about all of that on your own website or something.
I've already replied to some of the other recent honeymoon registry discussions, but I still wanted to chime in. We did a honeymoon registry and felt like it was a great decision. We used Traveler's Joy, which charges a percentage, but seemed to have the best design and be the most user friendly. Unlike Kara321's experience, people actually used their CC to pay online and didn't have to bring a check or cash to the reception (and worry about it getting lost or stolen there).
We registered for lots of personalized things and explained why we wanted it, like pastries (because I have a sweet tooth and Paris has the best) or a romantic picnic in the park, etc. The feedback that we got was that people enjoyed seeing what fun things we'd be doing and picking out their gift. For example, his great aunt who had been to Paris before LOVED the picnic so that's what she bought.
On both the registry website and our wedding website we worded it in such a way to make sure we weren't asking for anything, just offering a suggesting for those who wanted to help out in some way and it was a gift in itself for people to just attend the wedding. (Isn't that how people word any registry?) We explained that we didn't need (or have room for) traditional gifts, but still registered for a few inexpensive items for those who really wanted to give a tangible gift. On the honeymoon we took pictures of us with everyone's gift and mailed it along with very personalized thank you notes to let everyone know it was really appreciated.
I really don't see how it's any different than a traditional registry where you pick the items and know their cost. DH and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment that is already too small. There's no way we have room for more. We are not the entertaining type, at least not at this point in our lives, and have zero use for fancy glass items or our 30th bath towel. We'll probably move 1 or 2 more times in the near future and don't need more stuff to haul around. And for the few things we did register for we got 3 of the same knife because people don't use the registry correctly!
@Ember78: I'm not trying to be rude, but I have a very different opinion regarding your comment "Everyone can use something tangible even if you don't need it." I find it wasteful to register for stuff that will replace perfectly good items you already have or to get stuff that will just sit in a drawer or closet unused. Personally, I'd much rather spend time with someone than get gifts. So if someone wants to help us have a wonderful time on our honeymoon (which we'd go on regardless), then great! Otherwise, I'd prefer no gift over stuff we don't need.
Sorry this turned into a novel!
I agree with amour toujours.... our society has become so disposable and wasteful, and with weddings of 200 guests and upwards you need to register for a LOT of stuff just so everyone can buy you a tangible gift.
I understand how buying tangible "stuff" would have been useful 20 years ago when the couple is just moving out of their parents houses and need things to SURVIVE in their new life together, but nowadays people are frequently getting married later in life, are already settled, and don't need a lot of stuff. In many cases it is materialistic and impractical to expect the couple to only receive tangible items. People survived just fine 100 years ago living a more simple life with fewer possessions. In fact, one could say that people may have been happier when there wasn't this consumeristic attitude of needing to fill your house with possessions that are meant to save you time and effort, but in reality end up causing a lot of visual and mental clutter and often end up taking MORE time (e.g. using and washing a food processor, instead of just chopping your carrots for a salad with a knife). Our possessions are weighing us down and the quantity of them makes each one less special, to the point that we don't realize their value. Think about books written in the early half of the 20th century, where people received one or two Christmas gifts (a pair of skates, a doll). How special and meaningful were each and every one of those gifts?
I know I'm ranting a bit and I do hope I'm not offending anyone... this is just something I feel strongly about. The amount of natural resources that are consumed to make, transport, store, and dispose of all these products is sad... lets go back to the simple life, appreciate what we have, and move back from the consumeristic society that has become North America! And to get back to my main point, register for things you need (good quality so you don't need to dispose of them in 5 years and buy new stuff), once you have done that, I have no problem with registering for "experiences" that will create memories and actually enrich your life.
I understand why a lot of people choose to set up honeymoon registries. I, personally, would never buy a present from a honeymoon registry.
Ember78: "I'll be the odd one out who thinks they are rude. If you can't afford something, then you don't go outside your means and ask your guests to pay for it. You take a honeymoon you can afford and then save for a bigger trip later in life."
To play devil's advocate to this... "if you can't afford to have cooking utensils, towels, etc before you get married you shouldn't go outside your means on your wedding" I think that sounds just as ridiculous. No one NEEDS any of that stuff but I would much rather give someone a piece of their honeymoon than their second toaster.
Mu hubby and I didn't want to register anywhere because after living together for over 4 years, we just didn't really need or want anymore house stuff. We originally were going to do a honeymoon registry but then I got sick of planning and we found a great deal to Vegas and got married and honeymooned there. So we actually opted to do a potluck reception and had our guests bring food in lieu of gifts.
In this day in age, I think a honeymoon registry is entirely appropriate. Heck, most of my guests wanted to RSVP over a phone call, text message, or email. I don't think the website you host your registry at discloses the exact amount each guest contributes (I could be wrong but the website we were going to go with just sends you one big check). A gift is a gift to me, no matter if it's a toaster, a casserole dish, or a trip to Maui!
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This came up sort of off topic in another post and I didn't want to hijack the thread but I'm curious as to what people think of honeymoon registries. Love? Hate? Indifferent? If you don't like them, why is it that you don't like them. What makes a honeymoon registry different for you than a regular gift registry?