Honeymoon registry wording

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee

It think that sounds OK!

We’re personally not doing a registry because we feel we have everything we need, like you…and if we got a bunch of household gifts, we’d be throwing away the perfectlly good items we already have. Our major goal is to move next summer, and moving is expensive. We’re hoping that since we’re not registering for gifts, maybe we’ll just get more cards with money in them? I don’t know how to ask for money for a U-haul, so we’ll just keep quiet and cross our fingers 🙂

Post # 4
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2025

petitplatypus:  I think that sounds fine! It’s a rather nice way of saying it (not “grabby” as people say?) 😀

When my cousin got married, she had an “additional details” card, and it listed directions to the venue, registry information, and parking information.

Post # 5
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Why not just say nothing and then if asked (or your parents) just say since they live overseas they would appreciate a cash gift? 

If someone is going to buy you a physical gift knowing your circumstances then they were always going to buy you a physical gift and no insert would change that. 

Post # 8
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

petitplatypus:  I saw a beautiful wording a few days ago in here. You should search for it but it went something like your presence at our wedding is already a gift but if you wish you could contribute for a special honeymoon. Anyways it was MUCH better than this and it was lovely!!

Post # 9
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

petitplatypus:  but everyone knows that you are just getting the cash. Aside from registries at hotel chains like Sandals, honeymoon registry sites are just a cash collection site and what is worse is they take a percentage of the money for doing so or worse charge your guests a fee to give you cash.

I am going to be blunt so try not to take too much offence but it is pretty stupid to pay a company to collect cash for you. 

You can just say thst you haven’t registered as there is nothing that you need but are saving for a honeymoon. People will get the picture, aside from those hellbent on a physical gift, and give you a card with cash.

Post # 10
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

petitplatypus:  I agree with petitplatypus. Guests pretty much have an idea of what they want to give you right away without receiving instructions first. More old fashioned types will want to give you a physical gift, even if you have no registry and have already established a home, no matter what. If you don’t have a registry it’s a given that you prefer cash (which in turn you can use towards your honeymoon), and you don’t have to worry about wording or sounding rude. 

Post # 11
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

j_jaye:  Quite a few of the honeymoon registry websites now charge a fee for setting it up rather than taking a cut of the gift money so that the couple pay for it rather then the guests (I know you are still paying for someone to collect cash for you, but the guests aren’t).

They also have the benefit that rather than people just giving x amount of money, they can choose a specific activity or item to pay for which allows people to spend less if they need/want to (in the same way people often give more cash than they would spend on a present), it also means that when writing thank you cards the couple can say ‘Thank you so much for the experience of swimming with dolphins (or whatever), we enjoyed it so much and even saw a baby dolphin (or some interesting detail) etc etc blah blah’ rather than just ‘thanks for the cheque’. I knew a couple who sent thank you postcards from the places they had been that were in some way relevant to the gift they had received e.g. a postcard of the beach view from the beach where the person paid for cocktails at an island bar or whatever which adds an extra bit of nice that you can’t necessarily get from just giving the money with no specific aim.

Post # 12
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

cpick:  but the thing is that the guest isn’t buying you that so it is kind of a lie. The company just hands over the cash minus their cut/fees. 

The couple can still do nice thank you cards of things of things that the cash purchased on their honeymoon but honestly wouldn’t most people just be happy with a thank you your gift helped us enjoy our honeymoon? I mean thank you cards usually end up in the bin anyways.

Post # 13
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

j_jaye:  a lot of people who have honeymoon registries have them because they can’t afford to do all of the activities they’d like. For example we’re having a few nights in a self catering flat on the British coast. We can’t afford to eat out every night or do paid for activities every day. But if we had a honeymoon registry with a meal out on it or tickets to an attraction and someone got it for us we would go for a meal or a day out that we wouldn’t be able to without them paying for us. Obviously some people will put stuff on and then use the cash for something different but most people put things they want to do on them and then do them. It’s no different to giving someone a giftcard for their birthday or a cinema voucher for Christmas or whatever.

Post # 14
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

cpick:  But in that case, you could pay for the same meal out with money (voluntarily) given to you as gifts at the wedding rather than soliciting money beforehand online. What j_jaye  is saying is that the Honeymoon Registries aren’t literally going to whatever guests sign up for anyway; the couple gets all the money and they divide it up as they see fit.

I feel that if people want to give cash as a gift they will without any prompting from the couple. If you don’t want physical gifts, you can say that “your presence is the only gift we need” and then people who still want to give something will give money. But asking for money outright is rude IMO.

Post # 15
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

cpick:  I guess I just don’t see the point. Why pay someone to collect money for you, it is just stupid. I guess for me it seems shady to pay a website to tell guests you want cash for your honeymoon. If that is what you want why can’t you just not register and when guests ask say we are saving for our honeymoon? It is no more offensive to do it like that and it is a hell of a lot more honest and savvy.

 

 

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