Post # 1
FH and I were discussing possibly having a money jar/tree at reception for people to donate towards honeymoon. I have been to plenty of receptions where the bride and groom did a money dance…his mom overheard and said that she thought the idea was rude and tacky. I’m originally from California and my FH and his family are from Arkansas…so this may be a regional custom??? Is the idea bad? We’re not having dancing…so I thought the jar would be a cute alternativeIan I wrong?
Post # 3
Tacky in my social circle.
Post # 4
Weddings are not fundraisers. The end.
Post # 5
hmmm… I don’t love the idea for the wedding.
It reminds me of a tip jar at a bar or coffee shop and I think it does bring the level of class down and possibly creates an awkward feeling in guests who would just as soon write a check and put it in their well-wishing card.
Have you heard of honeyfund?
Its a website where guests can donate with their credit cards so its a little more tasteful/anonymous to give financial gifts and with credit cards they might even get a kick back with points/etc.
I have been to weddings with money dances here in CA but its always kinda akward at first and I don’t love the idea of being paid for a dance either… its totally up to you tho.
Post # 6
Tacky around here. People are already bringing you a gift.
Post # 7
Agree with pp and your FMIL, it’s bad form. You’re guests are already bringing a present, asking for more just feels greedy.
Post # 8
I think it depends on where you’re from…
I know when I first started discussing wedding plans, I wasn’t going to have a dj, and my moms basic reaction was, WHAT ABOUT THE DOLLAR DANCE? I got alot of grief over NOT having it. It’s pretty much expected in our family.
I’ve been to weddings that had a money jar, I thought it was cute, not tacky. And at the end of the night, it was filled up. Guests wrote cute little notes and wishes for what the couple should do with the money, “have a drink on me!”, “buy some aspirin after a long night!” ect.
I could see how in very wealthy areas it wouldn’t be accepted.
Post # 9
What about setting up two jars: Bride and Groom. Guests bet on who’s going to get tthe cake smushed on their face. And you get to keep the money. It’s a fun way to feet a few extra dollars, nothing crazy.
Post # 10
Using a wedding as a fund raiser is not appropriate. I would vote tacky.
Post # 11
It depends on region and custom, I think. My European roots would have me do something like a dollar dance. I’ve not really thought about it yet though. I certainly don’t think it’s any different from the tradition of holding a party before the wedding and making guests pay for tickets in order to fund the wedding, which is popular in many places.
Post # 12
I’m gonna disagree with most Bee’s. But then, I don’t tihnkI would ever call someone else’s idea for their own wedding tacky, even if they asked outright.
Do whatcha gotta do, lady!
Post # 13
I think having a tip jar out for your wedding is highly inappropriate, and that’s basically what you’re suggesting.
Post # 14
@amanda1221: This is a better idea then just having a “honeymoon” jar or something. I’ve seen it online where there are 2 jars or I think wine glasses in the pics I’ve seen & a sign saying something like “who wears the cake?”
I see nothing wrong with the dollar dance AT ALL but it’s always done in my family. Many people on here find it tacky but it depends on your family and your customs. If it’s popular in your circle, don’t pay attention to people who throw around the word “tacky.” If it’ll come off odd to most people or you don’t think they’ll understand it or find it fun, then don’t do it. I don’t think I’d do a dollar dance if you’re not having dancing though.
Post # 15
@Ellegee: +1, nicely put!
Post # 16
@Asia: I have grown to despise the word “tacky” because of how often it is thrown around on here! lol I agree that I would never call something I didn’t like tacky, ESP without knowing the person & their culture, family, traditions, etc