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I would say take a honeymoon or even a minimoon to relax and de-stress just the two of you (maybe closer to home?) and then take the big trip to Europe with friends. That was you get some time right after the wedding to enjoy your newly married status and get a great trip with your friends.
I guess one question would be if you are also planning to share rooms to keep costs down?
It could work. Shoot on our honeymoon we spent time with other honeymooning couples at the B&B, going to dinner etc. I think a whole week of just starting at each other and we would have gone crazy :)
I also think you will want some one on one time. Maybe some stops where you have your own room, and some meals that just the two of you go out, or a day when ya'll split up and explore a city on your own. As long as the other couple understood your desires in that sense and were ok with that. It could work :)
It's really a personal choice. How did you always envision your honeymoon? If your vision is just the two of you bonding and giggling and exploring some place together - you may be disappointed to share the time with friends.
Another idea is spending the first 3 days just the two of you for that 'honeymoon' feeling. (this could be somewhere romantic before you leave the states - or in europe) Then having your friends join you for a week or so to explore :)
Where are you going in Europe?
I ask this because having been to Europe on a number of occasions I never felt the need to have more people with me for protection. I guess it depends on where you're going. But I have been to England, Spain, France, Italy & Switzerland and would never consider having another couple come on my honeymoon to any of those places for "safety" reasons.
I would not do it, but that is me. My fiance's first marriage he honeymooned with another couple for 2 nights in Jamaica, but of course his new wife was already planning on cheating on him with the other man that went!!!
FYI, I just read somewhere that it is no longer cheaper to ride the train in Europe than to fly. They have short flights at low prices. Just something to look into.
Candi
Rebecca,
While I understand your FI's concerns I think that you will be fine going by yourselves. Many many Eureopeans speak English, and they love practicing. Also I agree with Candi that there are many low cost European airlines that will fly you quickly between major cities so a train ride is not your only option. There are high speed trains as well. I've also felt pretty safe in Europe as a whole, especially in the major cities. The only places where I have felt odd is in smaller towns outside major areas (and in some major cities too but just to let you know I stand out a bit in parts of Europes..I'm a black woman with long (dread)locs). I think it would be really great for you both to do it by yourself and your first adventure as husband and wife.
If his concerns are primarily monetary, there are countries you can go where your money will go a bit further and your can also find smaller inns, etc. that are not super expensive. There are lots of good articles about travelling Europe economically right now (Check out this month's Budget Travel). Good luck!
I also really think that it depends on where you are planning on going. I've traveled to several parts of Europe and lived in Rome for 6 weeks and never had any problems with the different languages.
I traveled alone to some places and had a great time. Remember that the more people you have with you, the less freedom you have to do your own thing. I'm obviously not saying that you should ditch your hubby but having another couple with you complicates things. Then you have to worry about taking their wants into consideration during a time when you and your hubby should only be thinking about making each other happy.
Safety was also never an issue for me while I was away. Keep your valuables close to you when on trains and just be aware of your surroundings. And ignore the adorable little urchins...I mean, children that come around with their instruments and sad little faces to try and get you to give them money. If you make eye contact, you'll have a dozen kids around you in no time.
Be careful with those budget airlines, they usually have more restrictions than you're probably used to. Mainly the luggage requirements are much stricter than in the U.S. and I got hit with a heavy fee when I was trying to fly from Paris to Rome with 6 weeks worth of clothes. These flights are great if you're just going somewhere for a weekend trip but not so great if you're taking a bunch of stuff with you. Another great way to save money is to rent an apartment if you're going to be in the same city for a while, FI's parents did this in Paris last October and it turned out great for them.
I agree with caribqueen, you'll be fine. If you speak English, the language barrier won't be a problem. Remember that even the smaller towns in Europe tend to be heavily touristed, so people are used to foreigners. Train travel is generally pretty safe--just be aware and don't leave your bags unattended. Like others said, there are cheap flights, too. Although I tend to find trains more convenient, because they drop you off right in the city/town you're headed too, rather than in some airport in the outskirts. As far as going with people who have been there before, some of my favorite memories with my now-fiance are of arriving in a new european city and exploring it together. It's so romantic! Buy a good guidebook with maps and just start walking! Suggestions: if you're nervous about traveling around, start with western Europe. Or pick one country and get to know it. France (I live there right now so I'm biased!), Spain, Italy--all have many destinations that are beautiful and accessible. Amsterdam is a fantastic smaller city-much more than its reputation. Berlin is cheap. Or a money-saving option is to stay in one place for a week and get a vacation apartment, then do day trips. Of course, everyone's relationship is different and some couples are naturally more sociable (I know two newlywed couples who shared a house for a few years--not for me, but they had fun!) But if you think a more private honeymoon is what you want, don't be afraid of Europe. It's wonderful!
/novel
wow, thanks for all the responses!
the reason for going with another couple wouldn't be to save money. we want to go all out -- it's our honeymoon! so no sharing rooms. yuck.
i'm also positive that there's no funny business going on with this other couple, haha, but thanks for the warning, Candi!
as for the safety issue, i'm of the opinion that europe is no less safe than any major city in the states, but i'm letting him kind of do his own thing on this one (as he is planning this and i don't want to meddle too much).
thank you all for your tips -- please keep them coming!
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I think it was Mrs. Onion who stayed with friends during her HM, and it looked like she had a blast.
Contrary to some of the other posters, my DH and I didn't really make friends with other couples during our HM. We went to an all-inclusive resort and pretty much just hung out at the beach and got room service. We took the time to reconnect after the stress of wedding planning. Some of the time we did go do stuff on our own, like I got a massage and he went exploring around the resort. It was nice to not really have a schedule, though, and only figure out what to do with one other person.
So that is my long-winded way of saying that it depends on how well your style of vacationing (esp. how low-key or action-packed you want your HM to be) matches up with the other couple's expectations. I know that your FH is planning the HM, but if you have any concerns, I think you should speak up.
I think it totally depends. We are doing 10 days in Aspen for our honeymoon, and as I have friends in Colorado that I don't often see, I am totally tempted to invite them to meet us there for a few days. (FI is not crazy about that idea.)
I would make sure that you have a few days alone together - maybe go 3 of 4 days before the other couple, or stay 3 or 4 days later. I think your FI will get comfortable pretty quickly, so maybe the idea of a few days alone at the end of the trip won't make him nervous.
I have travelled a lot in Italy, Spain, England, and France and have never felt unsafe - even when all by myself, which is often, as a lot of my travel is business so I'm sight-seeing alone in my spare time. There are places I wouldn't go alone (Tunisia I felt pretty intimidated by the vendors, and pretty uncomfortable with the general level of poverty). But the other bees are right - unless you are waaaay out in small villages in the middle of nowhere, people generally speak very good English. And the only trouble you are likely to have with the train is missing it entirely - they mostly leave on time. Right on time. Not like Amtrack at all.
While its true that airfare is really cheap between countries in Europe, on the continent I would still take the train. Mostly because its quite pleasant, and the scenery is wonderful. The actual flights are very short, but security is pretty stringent, so you can spend three hours in airports for a 45-minute flight, which doesn't actually save you time. And trust me, every airport looks pretty much the same.
I would go for it, especially if you're wanting to go out! Get separate rooms, which I'm sure you'll do. Maybe even make a couple dates just alone with your new hubby... But it's your honeymoon, and the goal is to have fun! So, why not take advantage of Europe and have some fun with another couple? You could even head over there a couple days earlier or stay a couple days after the other couple leaves.
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2 words - he11 no
but if it works for you guys - go for it!!
I vote for mini-moon by yourself and then meet up in some European city to travel together. . . .
my husband wanted the same thing - to go somewhere with another couple who knew the place and could basically act as our tour guides. i said NO THANKS.... that's fine for another vacation, but for my honeymoon...? noooo.
An earlier poster commented that she would have gone crazy after a week of "staring just at her husband." My fiance I I recently went on a vacation to Hawaii and it was really amazing to have a week for just the two of us - we really got to connect and feel like a team and come back to work really recharged. To me that is what I would want for my honeymoon.
as long as you think you'd travel well together, and since you'd have separate rooms, i'd say go for it! europe is safe, i just traveled to england/germany/italy and never felt in danger, but it's also a LOT of fun to explore with a small group. i traveled with my fiance and best friend, and i'm so glad she came with - made the trip that much better. btw, as others have said, flights are usually cheaper than trains, check out ryan air or easy jet.
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hmmm....
well, i believe the honeymoon is a time to focus on each other and to began to figure out yourselves as husband and wife. it seems to me that that would be a little difficult if you guys are always meeting up with 'Bob and Jen" for breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, site seeing, shopping, ect.
I would do the private mini-moon for a couple days at least. I think you need 2 need to be alone.
That's my .02!
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my FI is planning our honeymoon, and he told me that he wants to do the touristy europe thing but that he would want to go with another couple (he wants to go with people who have been there before and who speak the language, and who could provide "safety in numbers" on the train as he's convinced we're going to get robbed. jeez.).
i'm torn about this. it would be a TON of fun with these friends and the reasons why he wants them to come with us are good ones (except the train thing, i think that's a bit of an overreaction, but whatever), and we were planning on going to europe with them eventually, but on our honeymoon? it just seems a little strange to me.
what do you all think? (and if you have suggestions on where to go, by all means, please share! we're noobs.)