Post # 1
Quick question here on giving an honorarium or gift to the officiant. Is this expected? My uncle is ordained and will be officiating our wedding. He’s a retired missionary and he and my Aunt would of course be at the wedding regardless. When we asked if he would do the honor (knowing there are many other family members including my brother who are pastors) the mention of money or payment never came up.
It didn’t really occur to us until today that we might need to give him something, although it doesn’t feel to me like it’s a paid job kind of thing. He’s not planning to come to the rehearsal dinner either as he’d prefer to stay at home that night.
What are you thoughts, does etiquette say we should pay him? What’s an appropriate amount? Should I consider this something he’s doing out of generosity?
Any advice appreciated, thanks!
Post # 3
Would a gift be better? It avoids the money issue but also shows thanks and graitude. You could always make a donation in his/your aunt’s name as a thank you.
Post # 4
I’m having my uncle marry us. He was very surprised and seemed honored that we asked. We’ll be getting him a gift. Just not sure exactly what yet.
Post # 5
Instead of a monetary honorarium, I would suggest a more personalised gift since he’s your uncle. He probably doesn’t expect anything, but a token of appreciation would be nice.
Post # 6
I agree with others on the gift. Our officiant is my FI’s best friend, and we’re paying for his hotel room for the wedding, since he’s poor like us, ha. But that’s obviously a different situation.
Post # 7
give him a personal gift. you could also make a small donation to the congregation he’s associated with in his name.
Post # 8
Okay, thanks ladies. Gift it is, now to figure out what personal gift to give (in the next 11 days, agghh!)