september 5 colors
more by hlander04
No older images
Help!! How to list a deceased relative in a "upbeat" way...
more in Family
Future In law situation
DIY Centerpieces Trial?
more in Boards
STD idea ; parents don't like

honoring a deceased family member

posted 3 years ago in Family
  •  
    1.
    Member Icon
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    hlander04    September 5, 2009  

    i want a very casual, quick ceremony with only a maid of honor & best man. my mom flipped out because i'm not having my cousins (who are more like my sisters & brother) in the wedding.

    as a compromise, i was trying think of a non-cheesy way to get them involved in the ceremony. our grandfather passed away almost two years ago. i was really close to him & was thinking about doing something to honor him. i was thinking that i could have my cousins do that.

    any ideas for what i could do?

     
    2.
    Member Icon
    Member
    33 posts
    Newbee
    LC    Aug 22 2009   Cambridge - Ontario - Canada

    Do they have to be involved at the Ceremony part?

    If you're having a reception could you invite them to give a speach or reading or say grace (whatever fits).

    Anything you pick to include them in the ceremony is going to lengthen and make it more formal and "cheesy" is very subjective.

    The only things I can think of are, doing a reading, lighting a candle, bringing up a photo and having it blessed (if you've got a minister).

    Another option would be to have a small tea ceremony where they prepare the tea, offer it to you and your groom and u2 offer it to your parents (both sides) as a sign of respecting the families.

    If you need your mom to drop it, I might suggest that you remind her that there are two sides of the family here.  If you include something for your cousins, does that unblance the groom's family.  Should you be honoring someone on their side as well?

    These family things are never easy.

     
    3.
    Hostess
    1,542 posts
    Bumble bee
    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    They could walk down the aisle before you and before your bridesmaid carrying a single flower each and set it down on a chair that would have been where your grandfather would have sat if he were present (next to your grandmother? or your mother/father?) Leaving the seat empty will allow people to take a moment and reflect.  You could put a note in your program about it -- or simply have the officiant mention the flowers and your grandfather and your cousins.

    Good luck!

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    MsApes    July 12, 2008   Walnut, CA

    I REALLY love HumarockBride's idea!

    Attachments

    1. honoring a deceased family member :  wedding Img Lazaro_Close_Up_with_Tag.JPG (2034.5 KB, 68 downloads) 2 years old
    2. honoring a deceased family member :  wedding Img First_Pic_of_Dress_for_Ad.jpg (37.5 KB, 64 downloads) 2 years old
     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    hlander04    September 5, 2009  

    LOVE the idea humarock!!

     
    6.
    Hostess
    1,542 posts
    Bumble bee
    HumarockBride    January 2, 2010   Boston, MA

    I wish I could claim it as my own ... a friend did it last summer. It was significant enough -- but also not too overwhelming/emotional so that it took away from the happy event of the day.  It was actually for the mother of the groom at the wedding I attended who had passed a few years earlier. Both the Bride and Groom placed a flower on "her" chair. It was wonderful.

     Glad I could help!  I've been to a million weddings, I've seen it all! :) 

     
    7.
    Hostess
    7,536 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    this is something that utterly chokes me up. I lost my dad 9 years ago and the fact he will not be there to give me away just tears at my heart.

    I love what Humarock Bride said and think that is a lovely way to honor them.

    Just making it down the aisle without him will be a feat. If I saw a rose on his chair, the waterworks would be profuse. I really miss him and getting thru that part of a wedding will be so very hard. Hugs to all brides who have lost someone dear.

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1 posts
    Wannabee
    agunia2008       Cleveland, Ohio

    Unfortunatley I had to honor my mom who passed away in 2004...2 years before my wedding in 2006 :(

    I knew she would not want anything to emotional or cheesy. The priest mentioned her in the homily in the most beautiful way... of course I started crying.  

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    Lyndzo 26
    beargoose 20
    his chippymunk 20
    Ms. Salamander 18
    LammChop 17
    fivemonthsnotice 17
    kat2014 15
    mypinkshoes 15
    aussiebee 15
    pengoala 14

    Family

    User Posts Today
    LammChop 3
    rebwana 3
    mightywombat 1
    sara_tiara 1
    vlbee 1
    Ellegee 1
    messymonkey 1
    dlujan 1
    RayKay 1
    Americano 1
    More