(Closed) Honoring a deceased family member-is this too much?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Bostongrl25:  I feel like all three things are a bit of overkill.  I’d consider the poem in the program or perhaps the pictures near the card table.  That remembers them without forcing it on people in the same way a moment of silence does.

Post # 5
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Bostongrl25:  If you absolutely feel you must, then perhaps two.  But I attended a wedding once where there were so many reminders of a deceased relative of the bride that it was more like a second funeral than a wedding.  Both bride and the deceased were related to me, so I understood; however, it was really depressing and a lot of guests felt it was as well.  I get wanting to have loved ones with you who should be there and aren’t, but the focus needs to be on the joy of love.

Post # 6
Member
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I asked my FI if he wanted to have a “in memory” chair to set aside for those who cant attend. His response was “on the happiest day of my life why would i want to be reminded of sad things like people who are dead?” 

Case closed. So please think about that. 

Post # 7
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We only had the “in memory of” thing on the back of the program and that was enough. If you add too many reminders of the loved ones that couldn’t be there it will definitely bring the mood down. it’s your wedding.. you want the mood to be upbeat. 

Post # 8
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I would skip the In Memory on the programs and stick with the prayer and photos.  We had a memory table set-up in the church and at the reception venue. Everyone thought it was perfect.

Post # 9
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Echoing PPs – pick one thing that will be the most meaningful to you.  Chances are, your deceased loved ones would not want their deaths to be a focal point of your wedding -they’d want everyone to celebrate and not feel sad.

Post # 11
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I had Sophie the bear to honor all of those who passed.  Her story was in our program.  See PP for Sophie’s story.  My niece was her caretaker for the day, at the party she had a place of honor at the bar next to both of us

Post # 12
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am having flowers from the ceremony brought by special people in my family to grave sight for 4 ver close deceased relatives including my father. Also, I will have some nice pictures and a flower at the reception. I think its overkill when people leave a seat for a deceased loved one but the rest sounds fine. Maybe instead of a moment of silence, you could have prayers of the faithful where someone will list things to pray for and one thing could be for all those who could not be present. This is part of our Catholic ceremony.

Post # 13
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I agree to pick one thing- I think on programs is a nice touch (probably because that’s how we did it.)

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