Post # 1
My fiance’s mom passed away when he was 16 and though his father re-married he is VERY protective of his mom’s place. He respects his step-mom, but won’t let her get too close. Naturally he misses his mom more than ever during such important milestones in his life, like our engagement and wedding.
How do I honor his mom without seeming like I’m "brushing off" his step-mother and and all she’s done for him in the lst 9 years? Our culture has traditions that the groom’s mom does, and he’s already adamant about his maternal relatives do those. I want to make his mom’s presence felt throughout the church ceremony and dinner reception without hurting anyone’s feelings.
-Lighting a candle with pictures of him and his mom around?
-A brief tribute during the slideshow with some meaningful lyrics and pictuers?
-A moment of silence during the mass?
Post # 3
You should always remember that the focus during the ceremony should be on you and your FH. Just be sure to tread a fine line. If you plan on having programs during hte ceremony you can write something really sweet about her and how you both wish she were here to share in her son’s wedding day.
Your FH must be really happy to have you put so much though and care into this for him.
Good luck with your plans.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2009 - Red Fish Grill
I think Chela’s suggestion of including something about your FI’s mother in the program would be a nice tribute. Have you asked your FI what he might like to do in her honor?
Perhaps, in addition to whatever you add to your ceremony, you can make your FI something special to carry with him on your wedding day. Maybe a small photograph of them together inside of a pocketwatch, or a pocket square embroidered with her initials, that he can tuck into his coat. I plan to honor my grandparents in a similar way by attaching lockets containing thier photographs to my bouquet.
I wish you the best.
Post # 5
Maybe leave a space in the front pew with a white rose in its place… my father passed away 2 years ago and I will be doing this at my wedding
Post # 6
Sorry to hear of your fiance’s mothers passing. I would do something simple and sweet such as suggested above. I also agree that it is yours and his day and you two should be the center of attention. I thought of ways to include all my grandparents that have passed and i put my suggestions out there and they were all shot down bcause as much as they are loved and missed doing certain things like putting 20 different pictures out of them on display may bring a somber mood to the event and some people may just get upset and not realize your good intentions. I think a picture in his pocket and a extra lighting of a candle would work great but talk to him and ask him what he would like to do. Hope all works out well.
Post # 7
For our relatives that have passed on we’ll be lighting memorial candles at the reception (they’ll be lit before the reception LOL we’re not lighting them then!), and I’m reserving a seat at the ceremony for my Dad (two red roses and 1 yellow rose) and a seat for him at the reception. My dad always wore a cowboy hat so I’m going to hang one of his old ones off of the back of his chair, and I’ll put a yellow rose on his place setting and a poem or song lyrics about him not being there. As far as I can tell we won’t be doing that for anyone else (which, now that I type it, sounds rude) because my Dad & I were SUPER close and he only passed a year ago, all the others (3 grandmas and a grandpa) have been gone for much longer than that. Plus, he’s my Dad ya know?
I agree with putting a note in the program or doing a memorial candle (we’ve attached picture frames to our candles with ribbon so there will be a black and white picture of each person), but I don’t have any other suggestions. Definitely talk to your FI and see if there is anything else he’d like to do.