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instead of a bouquet, im carrying her bible and her rosary; we're placing one single rose on an empty seat and showing pics in slideshow
i like the peacock feather idea!!
We're trying to figure out something too. Both my mother and his father will be gone 3 years, his father's will actually be gone 3 years just a few days before the wedding. I know I can't pull off placing a rose on an empty seat, I'll just start bawling. We're leaning toward putting up a framed picture at the entry table with a little sign, though I'm not even sure what I'll put on the sign. Another option for you - we saw some bridal magazines selling vases with a poem on them and you can add your loved ones name on it, then put a candle in it.
The peacock feather idea is beautiful. My grandpa was an amazing gardener, and had the most beautiful yellow roses just outside my window when I spent summers with them. Everytime I see a yellow rose I think of him, so I'm going to include yellow roses in my bouquet. We're also having Ave Maria sung in German (it's beautiful).
I like the idea of reserving a char like Anti-Zilla said, but I think it's too soon in our family to do that without causing sadness.
For the Ceremony, while our Priest was talking about my father, he handed me a white rose that I had bought for my father, and I walked up to the Alter and laid it down on the table. (Originally I thought to put it on the pew next to my mother, but our Priest said if i did that, NO ONE would see such a beautiful rose, and essentially, it would kind of go to waste, and felt that me walking from where I am standing (next to my groom), would bare greater significance, as all of our guests would see me showing recognition to my father. While I was doing that, my SIL sang a song about my father, written by an artist who's simply just amazing.
It made those guests who knew my father cry, as they were soooo touched! My uncle broke down, because he was really amazed that that part of my ceremony was soooo powerful in recognizing my beloved father!
I bought some wood picture frames at Ikea and plan to paint them in the wedding colors and place a photo of each loved in them. I will then place a card in front of the photo frame with their name and relationship to bride/groom so each is known to those looking at them.
These frames will be on a table with a dozen white roses and some cadles and a poem or note of some sort explaining that though they can not be here we know they are in our hearts.....or something like that.
As we just lost another member of the family last night, I actually have to go buy more supplies to finish this table. I hope the number of photos on it doens't get any bigger.
I should mention this will be at the reception so it can be up the majority of the night.
We really struggled with this issue: how to do enough, but not too much, and how to keep the right mood -- I will miss my father terribly on my weddign day, so doing "too much" would lead to a flood of tears. And, my FH's brother was murdered 10 years ago, when he was a teenager, so it's still a very raw wound for their family.
So, here's what we're doing: We bought square glass vases engraved with "In Remembrance of ..." and then the names of his brother and my dad (one for each) -- we're going to put red roses in both of them, and display them -- wiith candles -- on the program table at the ceremony, and the guest book table at the reception. Afterwards, we're going to give the vases to our moms to keep.
He'll also be wearing his brother's cufflinks, and I'll have a photo charm of my dad in my bouquet.
the photo charm is a good idea, i remember seeing it somewhere, does anyone have a link? everyone has such thoughtful ideas, i love it!
we may do a reading in a family member's honor or something of the sort. we have also considered framing the wedding photos of our grandparents (none of whom are still living) and having those on our welcome/ guest book table. the key is to remember without causing too much grief which is hard for a younger person or recent loss.
My best friend died 8 years ago. We grew up together and I always thought he would be the "Man of Honor" in my wedding. A day rarely went by that we didn't see eachother, talk on the phone, or email. We were best friends through all the awkwardness of middle school, the craziness of high school, and the enlightenment of college. He supported me through all of my heartbreaks, and I was there when he came out. He was a fabulous person that can never be replaced! He was killed by a drunk driver.
We will honor my friend by leaving his favorite cocktail at the head table (gin martini -- extra dry, extra olives). It's kind of a play on the Jewish tradition of leaving a glass of wine for the prophet Elijah at Passover. We might explain this to our guests or just leave the untouched martini as a mystery.
I'm having the pastor who buried my grandparents marry us. The cranky old ladies at the church hated her. I can't wait to see their faces when she stands with us. I know that would have made him laugh. Mainly low key touches that if people knew the person it will make them smile.
I had my sister and brother in law carry a bouquet and candle for my mother during the procession. We had a little table on the side of the altar where they placed these items, on which they stayed for the ceremony. I also had mention of deceased loved ones in our program.
I am just going to add on to this thread 
I want to incorporate some way to remember my grandma who passed away 4 years ago, but i am not sure what to do. I feel like the traditional pic in frame or candle thing isnt enough... 
Any suggestions?
one thing i was going to do was give part of my bouquet to my mom and aunts to put on her grave instead of doing the bouquet toss. but i still wanted to do something more ....
I've been struggling with this one myself. My mom died almost 6 years ago, and personally, I don't want to do a song or a special flower.
I am thinking about a locket hanging from my bouquet with a picture of us from her final year, or even of us when I was just born.
In the last year that she was alive, my mom, sister, and I pieced together a bright blue quilt that I was thinking could be escorted down the aisle during the "Seating of the Mothers" and placed on the chair where she would have sat. Part of me wants to draw attention to her, but part of me just wants to acknowledge her privately, without show... I don't know.
I do want to say I love the peacock feathers! How special for you to remember the peacocks that would come out whenever your grandparents sat on the porch. Placing the feathers on "reserved" chairs is totally your call. I kind of like the idea of the feathers standing alone in a tall vase or galvanized bucket or something. It sounds like you're marrying outside (?)...could you place them in something tall in front of the arch on the ground or put them on a small table, and explain the story in your programs?
to jhearta-
do you have a handkerchief or some clothing item of hers? you could use it to wrap your bouquet, or pick a special flower and have all the women in the party wear it as a remembrance of her (kinda like those ribbons people wear idea...)
i was also thinking of giving my aunt (my grandparents daughter) and my dad (their son) the feathers to wear somehow, i dont want to make a show of it though, because as far as i know my fiance hasnt expressed anything to do to want to honor his grandparents.
ahhh decisions, decisions...!
Ooh, wearing the flowers would be cute!! I've seen corsages and bouts fashioned out of peacock feathers, and it's a really classy look! Your florist might have a good sense of how to make that work. And it wouldn't have to be flashy or showy, but done in a way that's recognizable and nice.
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What is everyone doing to honor special people, grandparents or family who cant be there or who have passed away?
I am thinking of using 2 peacock feathers somewhere in the ceremony to represent my grandmother and grandfather (back in the early 90's we always used to see peacocks wandering their neighborhood in the evening when they would sit on the porch!) but I am not sure how.
Lay them on an empty chair? Put into my bouquet (although it doesn't match)? Have them in our floral piece on our arch? Any Ideas??