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We left an empty seat for my husband's mother, who passed away ten years ago. We had a framed photo of her holding him as a baby, and I laid my bouquet on the chair as a gift of respect to her - my way of thanking her for having and raising him. I never got to meet her, but we had so much in common that I wish she were here today so that I could learn from her!
We know so far that somehow the officiant will mention my grandmother in the ceremony and my mom is also dedicating our recessional (The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra - her favorite singer) to us in her honor. Also, I will in some way be wearing her wedding band whether it be on my right hand or on a chain around my wrist or neck. We may also put a picture of her up at the reception (my grandmother was incredibly important to me, the one person I wanted at my graduations and wedding, and died when I was 14 so I want to do as much as possible).
@mandb122: I love the dedication! WHat a great idea :-). I forgot to add that I had a locket with a picture of my grandmother that passed away 3 weeks before my wedding. It was attached to the ribbon wrap of the bouquet with a vintage hat pin.
We are leaving one empty seat on either side with a daisy on the chair. Each of us have had loved ones pass or that are special to us but just can't be at our wedding (for example, my 93 year old great-grandma, who lives in Nova Scotia, can't be around a lot of people/noise). I also plan on making a "memory wall" with photos of the FH and I growing up. Some of those photos will include those people.
Thankfully the majority of our families are alive and well and will be in attendance. The only person who isn't is FI's grandfather who was his hero. He's been gone for a long time but we still want to acknowledge him at our wedding. We plan to put a remembrance in our program in honor of him.
I put a poem for my mom in our programs and another one for everyone else(there are too many to list individually). I am also making cracker favors in honor of my grandmother(she is old and not doing well, so it is very doubtful that she will attend). Our recessional will be Tara's Theme from Gone With the Wind in honor of my mom and the song is also written out in our program. I will also be wearing my grandmothers ring on my right hand or attaching it to my bouquet. I wanted to do the chair thing, but my father said it would be too sad, so I am finding other ways to honor my mom and others' that will not be physically present.
we are leaving an empty chair beside my mom in honor of my Father. As the bridesmaids walk down the aisle they will place a rose in the chair.
I'm adding two bouquet charms, one for my grandmother and one for my grandfather. I'll also hopefully have some chamomile in my bouquet as another remind of my grandfather. We'll definitely have something in the program. And I'm coming up with something special to remember FIs friends that are serving overseas and can't make it.
we're conflicted about what to do to honor FI's mom. he doesn't want to not acknowledge her, but he also doesn't want to do something that will upset him. we're getting married within days of the anniversary of her death which i was concerned about, but he says is good...it will turn that time of year into a celebration for him instead of a time of mourning. it will have been 6 years a few days after our wedding, so it's not a fresh wound.
one thing i definitely would like to do is have old family photos around. we're getting married in an old house and there are lots of mantels that are perfect for displaying photos. all of our grandparents (all gone but one who most likely won't be able to travel to the wedding) will be "honored" in that way. i still think we should do a little something extra for his mom though, just haven't decided what.
I carried a locket with photos - I put it on a ribbon and wrapped it around my bouquet. People still got emotional when looking at it, but it was a great way to honor those who couldn't be with us...it's hard to decide what feels right in these situations though.
In our ceremony we had a moment of silence for family members that have passed away and our officiant read their names. The moment of silence was also to recognize those that do not have the civil liberty of marriage.
We made a photo board of the grandparents from both sides, and then made all the photos sepia to match... it was placed by our card box on the placecard table.
My favorite blog, A Practical Wedding, recently ran a post on this topic. Check the comments for lots of ideas!
http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/10/ask-team-practical-honoring-lost-loved-ones/
We lit four candles, one for each person and another tiny little one for my DH's sister that passed away a few hours after birth :(
In our programs we wrote at the bottom that the candles were lit in memorium of such and such etc.
It is common around here to do a 'memory table' where there are photos of those who are already gone and maybe a small bit of information about them in a frame next to the photo. We will have a table set up for relatives that we have lost, with candles and small notes. As for those who are very important but may not be able to make it for health or other reasons, I am not sure what to do to remember them. I don't want them to be on the memory table (as they're not gone) but maybe do some flowers in honor of them with a mention in the program.
I still have my Mom's wedding dress which I plan to hang near the guest book. We will have lemon chesse (curd in american english) cake for my grandmother who used to make wedding cakes. Not sure about the other important ones yet but thats what we have so far.
I had two bouquet charms made by an etsy seller. They turned out great and were a great way to remember my grandmothers on my wedding day. Each charm had their picture on the front and the name I called them by on the back (Grandma D and Grandma Sara). Here's an example picture.
Also, I did not put anything about loved ones in the wedding program because I realized that it would probably upset my uncle. He lost his wife 2 years ago and it has been very tough on him. I felt like having a paragraph in the program would make the day harder for him, so I refrained.
Bouquet_with_charms.jpg (18.7 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old
Instead of a memory table, which we were going to do, we're using pictures for our table numbers and recognizing close family members in our program.
These are beautiful ideas. Thank you all for sharing!
My mom passed away a little over a year ago and I've been figuring out ways to honor her. I ordered this locket that I'm going to put her picture in and fasten to my bouquet. Out of the blue on day, she told me that her "symbol" was the butterfly, so it's a perfect fit.
I'm also toying with doing an honor dance during the reception. I'd dance with my fiance and invite my uncle on my mom's side and his wife out to share the dance floor with us as Carrie Underwood's "Mama's Song" plays. (It's a beautiful song. Here's a link to listen to it on youtube...)
We did several things to memoralize loved ones. As many other posters said, we had a memory table. We also had a memorial candle with the names of our loved ones who have passed (immediate family only). We read a poem and their names were stated. Lastly, I had my grandmother's cross on my bouquet.
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Bees,
What have you done to honor a loved one who couldn't be at the ceremony?