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Honoring loved ones who can't be there

posted 1 year ago in Family
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    Helper bee
    youhavemyheart    September 24, 2011  

    Bees,

    What have you done to honor a loved one who couldn't be at the ceremony?

     
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    Bee Keeper
    crayfish    September 11, 2010   Berkeley, CA

    We left an empty seat for my husband's mother, who passed away ten years ago. We had a framed photo of her holding him as a baby, and I laid my bouquet on the chair as a gift of respect to her - my way of thanking her for having and raising him. I never got to meet her, but we had so much in common that I wish she were here today so that I could learn from her!

     
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    Sugar bee
    mandb122    March 6, 2011   Temporarily in Minnesota, From South Carolina, Wedding in Charleston

    We know so far that somehow the officiant will mention my grandmother in the ceremony and my mom is also dedicating our recessional (The Way You Look Tonight by Frank Sinatra - her favorite singer) to us in her honor.  Also, I will in some way be wearing her wedding band whether it be on my right hand or on a chain around my wrist or neck.  We may also put a picture of her up at the reception (my grandmother was incredibly important to me, the one person I wanted at my graduations and wedding, and died when I was 14 so I want to do as much as possible).  

     
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    Bee Keeper
    crayfish    September 11, 2010   Berkeley, CA

    @mandb122: I love the dedication! WHat a great idea :-). I forgot to add that I had a locket with a picture of my grandmother that passed away 3 weeks before my wedding. It was attached to the ribbon wrap of the bouquet with a vintage hat pin.

     
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    Helper bee
    Purquez2011    August 15, 2011   Ellensburg, WA

    We are leaving one empty seat on either side with a daisy on the chair. Each of us have had loved ones pass or that are special to us but just can't be at our wedding (for example, my 93 year old great-grandma, who lives in Nova Scotia, can't be around a lot of people/noise). I also plan on making a "memory wall" with photos of the FH and I growing up. Some of those photos will include those people. 

     
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    UpstateCait    October 7, 2011   Upstate, NY

    Thankfully the majority of our families are alive and well and will be in attendance. The only person who isn't is FI's grandfather who was his hero. He's been gone for a long time but we still want to acknowledge him at our wedding. We plan to put a remembrance in our program in honor of him.

     
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    321 posts
    Helper bee
    youhavemyheart    September 24, 2011  

    Beautiful ideas, thank you so much for sharing.

     
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    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I put a poem for my mom in our programs and another one for everyone else(there are too many to list individually). I am also making cracker favors in honor of my grandmother(she is old and not doing well, so it is very doubtful that she will attend). Our recessional will be Tara's Theme from Gone With the Wind in honor of my mom and the song is also written out in our program. I will also be wearing my grandmothers ring on my right hand or attaching it to my bouquet. I wanted to do the chair thing, but my father said it would be too sad, so I am finding other ways to honor my mom and others' that will not be physically present.

     
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    Wannabee
    clilly2011    October 9, 2011  

    we are leaving an empty chair beside my mom in honor of my Father. As the bridesmaids walk down the aisle they will place a rose in the chair.

     
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    Busy bee
    Violet Violet    July 2, 2011   CT/NY

    I'm adding two bouquet charms, one for my grandmother and one for my grandfather.  I'll also hopefully have some chamomile in my bouquet as another remind of my grandfather.  We'll definitely have something in the program.  And I'm coming up with something special to remember FIs friends that are serving overseas and can't make it.

     
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    Bumble bee
    pb and j    September 2011   live in NY, wedding in Baltimore

    we're conflicted about what to do to honor FI's mom. he doesn't want to not acknowledge her, but he also doesn't want to do something that will upset him. we're getting married within days of the anniversary of her death which i was concerned about, but he says is good...it will turn that time of year into a celebration for him instead of a time of mourning. it will have been 6 years a few days after our wedding, so it's not a fresh wound.

    one thing i definitely would like to do is have old family photos around. we're getting married in an old house and there are lots of mantels that are perfect for displaying photos. all of our grandparents (all gone but one who most likely won't be able to travel to the wedding) will be "honored" in that way. i still think we should do a little something extra for his mom though, just haven't decided what.

     
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    Helper bee
    allisonc    October 9, 2010   Boston, MA, wedding in Middletown, CT

    I carried a locket with photos - I put it on a ribbon and wrapped it around my bouquet. People still got emotional when looking at it, but it was a great way to honor those who couldn't be with us...it's hard to decide what feels right in these situations though.

    Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding Pictures In Locket

    Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding Coro Locket

     

     
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    PitBulLover    August 21, 2010  

    In our ceremony we had a moment of silence for family members that have passed away and our officiant read their names. The moment of silence was also to recognize those that do not have the civil liberty of marriage.

     
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    Sugar bee
    7SEVENJ9    September 25, 2010  

    We made a photo board of the grandparents from both sides, and then made all the photos sepia to match... it was placed by our card box on the placecard table.  

    Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding Grammyandgrampysoule

     
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    Busy bee
    marjojo    July 24, 2010   Nashville

    My favorite blog, A Practical Wedding, recently ran a post on this topic. Check the comments for lots of ideas!

    http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/10/ask-team-practical-honoring-lost-loved-ones/

     
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    Sugar bee
    Baileyh    July 24, 2010   Vancouver

    We lit four candles, one for each person and another tiny little one for my DH's sister that passed away a few hours after birth :(

    In our programs we wrote at the bottom that the candles were lit in memorium of such and such etc.

     
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    Honey bee
    NDBee    March 10, 2012  

    It is common around here to do a 'memory table' where there are photos of those who are already gone and maybe a small bit of information about them in a frame next to the photo. We will have a table set up for relatives that we have lost, with candles and small notes. As for those who are very important but may not be able to make it for health or other reasons, I am not sure what to do to remember them. I don't want them to be on the memory table (as they're not gone) but maybe do some flowers in honor of them with a mention in the program. 

     
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    Busy bee
    Snowy414    August 20, 2011   Colorado

    I still have my Mom's wedding dress which I plan to hang near the guest book.  We will have lemon chesse (curd in american english) cake for my grandmother who used to make wedding cakes.  Not sure about the other important ones yet but thats what we have so far.

     
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    Bumble bee
    jaylii9    September 5, 2010  

    I had two bouquet charms made by an etsy seller. They turned out great and were a great way to remember my grandmothers on my wedding day. Each charm had their picture on the front and the name I called them by on the back (Grandma D and Grandma Sara). Here's an example picture.

    Also, I did not put anything about loved ones in the wedding program because I realized that it would probably upset my uncle. He lost his wife 2 years ago and it has been very tough on him. I felt like having a paragraph in the program would make the day harder for him, so I refrained. 

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    1. Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding Img Bouquet_with_charms.jpg (18.7 KB, 32 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    Busy bee
    jindc    March 20, 2011   DC

    Instead of a memory table, which we were going to do, we're using pictures for our table numbers and recognizing close family members in our program. 

     
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    Helper bee
    FutureMrsBondo    September 4, 2011   Chicago, IL

    These are beautiful ideas. Thank you all for sharing!

    My mom passed away a little over a year ago and I've been figuring out ways to honor her. I ordered this locket that I'm going to put her picture in and fasten to my bouquet. Out of the blue on day, she told me that her "symbol" was the butterfly, so it's a perfect fit.

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/55131667/silver-locket-necklace-enchanted-mothers?ref=sr_list_19&ga_search_query=butterfly+locket&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=2&order=&includes[0]=tags&includes[1]=title

    I'm also toying with doing an honor dance during the reception. I'd dance with my fiance and invite my uncle on my mom's side and his wife out to share the dance floor with us as Carrie Underwood's "Mama's Song" plays. (It's a beautiful song. Here's a link to listen to it on youtube...)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UCq0Xb0rBU

     
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    Bee Keeper
    melisslp    July 3, 2010   St. Louis, MO

    We did several things to memoralize loved ones.  As many other posters said, we had a memory table.  We also had a memorial candle with the names of our loved ones who have passed (immediate family only).  We read a poem and their names were stated.  Lastly, I had my grandmother's cross on my bouquet. 

    Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding 034

    Honoring loved ones who can't be there :  wedding 275

     

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