Post # 1
So this is kind of big. My sister is getting married in December, but our father passed away, unexpectedly, in March. We’re trying to find a way to honour him but a lot of what we’re finding online is stuff for a deceased aunt or grandmother (which fits in nicely if it’s the bride’s loss she can wear something they wore etc) but I can’t seem to find a lot about honouring a recently deceased father. If anyone can suggest something that strikes the right balance between sadness/remembering and celebration please help!
Thanks for the advice everyone!!
Post # 2
Maybe a charm in her bouqet with a picture of your father? You could also have a seat reserved for him with just a rose on it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
We had a few words framed on a table outside of our reception area for FI’s mother. Something like, “We know you are here in Spirit, and we thank you for your Love. – (FI’s mom’s name). Everyone really liked it.
I’ve also seen people leave roses on empty chairs during the ceremony. To us that felt too sad.
Post # 4
ragestarshine: I had a charm with my mom’s picture attached to my bouquet to remember her and something written in the program about her. My dad wanted me to do more, but I really felt like having reminders that she wasn’t with me (which I was already feeling) was really going to upset me and bring down my day. These were two nice ways to acknowledge it, but at the same time, keep the day about my husband and I.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
I had my god father walk down the isle with a pic of my mother and place it in an empty set in the front row. DH had his mother walk down the isle with a picture of his brother and place it in an empty seat on the other side.
Post # 6
both DH and my fathers are deceased. we are jewish and lit a memorial candle and said a prayer at our ceremony. my brother wore my father’s cup links. DH had something of his father’s in his jacket pocket.
Post # 7
I had a picture charm of my mom on my bouquet, I wore her wedding rings on a chain as my necklace, I had a small vase with her favorite flowers in it on the guest book/card table that said, “In loving memory of ___ _______, who is with us in our hearts.”, and I had a picture of her with a poem about being with us today on the back of our programs. Aside from that, we didn’t do anything else because I didn’t want to get too sad.
I realize that this doesn’t help with the walking down the aisle or father/daughter dance situation, but I liked the charm on the bouquet idea because it felt like my mom was walking with me down the aisle. Your sister might want to do something like that too? I’m not really sure how she might want to handle the dance, but she could just skip it completely, or come up with another idea to honor him instead. Open chairs with flowers and/or pictures of him on your card table, etc. are also great little memorials that she won’t necessarily have to be staring at the whole night.
Post # 8
ragestarshine: I think this topic ranges for everyone. For me, my mother was a huge part in my life. She was my best friend and we always talked about weddings before she passed before I got engaged. So I want to include her as much as I can. I am getting a replica of my bouquet for her and will be stopping at the grave site the morning of the wedding with my groom. I have a bouquet charm that will be on my bouquet. I will have a spot saved for her at the ceremony and we will be doing a minute of silence at the ceremony for those who have passed. I will also be having a memorial table at the reception hall of those who have passed. Also, I have chosen the song “When I look to the sky” by train to dance with my dad to in a way of honoring my mom.
To me, It is extremely important to me to have her as a part of my day as much as I can. However, everyone is different. Others may choose not to mention/honor their loved ones at all.
Post # 9
My father has passed away too, and I was thinking about that. Meaning no offense to anyone who chose to incorporate candles,empty chairs,flowers etc, but personally I found that too sad for the occasion. It’s just not right for me,even though I would find it sweet if someone else did it.
So I don’t really have any advice, except that I’ve come to terms with it, thinking that my father will always be there, because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I don’t need an empty chair, as if we were waiting for him and he didn’t come! He will always live through the things he taught me and that hopefully I can teach my children one day. Hope that helps in case you don’t find any ideas that suit you.
Post # 10
we are having a few short words near the start of the ceremony followed by a beautiful piece of music. i also hope to wear a brooch he gave me. thats it
Post # 11
ragestarshine: did your father pass of an illness? I also am honoring my mom by having plantable favors for organ transplant. Your sister could do something similiar for a cause in memory of your father?
Also, here are some inspiration photos I have used.
Post # 12
ragestarshine: So sorry for your loss. My father passed away 20 years ago when I was 17. I have a bouquet charm with his photo in it and plan on having him prayed for during the service. We didn’t bury him with his wedding band and I recently had it resized to fit me. I’m not using it as my wedding band but will be wearing it on my right hand. Other than that I’m going to his grave privately to leave a flower from my bouquet.
Post # 13
A friend of mine who got married and lost her father had a heard cut out of one of his blue dress shirts and sewen into the inside of her dress. It was her something blue and it was nice that it was kind of a quiet way just for her to honor her dad. I also really love the idea of having a photo charm on your bouquet.
Post # 14
My father passed away 9 or 10 months before my wedding. Here’s what I did:
– include prominent “in rememberence” sentence in wedding program
– get lockets/charms to wrap around the bouquet. I had one silly one and one wise-looking one, just because I didn’t want it to be only somber
– recited a heart-felt speech during the ceremony
The other touches were more subtle… During the whole event planning process, I included touches that I thought he’d love. It really worked… Everyone was telling me the whole night that they saw his presence in the details of the event, and he would have been so proud of me.
Good luck. It’s just about the worst thing to go through, but having the wedding as a beacon of happiness really does help with the grieving process.
Post # 15
I posted a similar topic on this earlier because my fiance’s mother passed away and we want to do something special for her at the wedding. My favorite ideas so far:
1. Charm in bouquet
2. Empty chair at the front with flowers
3. His favorite flowers/colors used in the wedding
4. Dance to his favorite song with another relative (brother/uncle/grandfather)
5. Some kind words in the program
6. A table with some photos of him and her and something that says “in rememberance of those who couldn’t join us today”