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I figure people will just ask around. You might want to have your hosts mention it to people who were invited. Gifts are the reason for a shower, so you aren't being selfish.
Not selfish! Are you sure she didn't include a separate insert for all guests but you that includes registry info?
ya, i called her to tell her how cute the invitation was and asked her if people will know where we are registered and she freaked out! She had a hard time fitting everything on the invite and guess it got cut off at the bottom. I guess because this is our only shower I am a little worried.
I think people will know to ask! Just make sure that she, your friends/bridesmaids, and your family know where you're registered, and they can let people know. Don't worry. Worst case, she could shoot a quick email to the guests.
I have only been to a few showers where registries were included and guests like me won't use them anyway! I am very anti-registry and refuse to buy anyone of gift from one. Most people can figure out you are expected to bring a gift to a shower.
Do you have a website people know about? That might help. It's also pretty easy to find people's registries online these days so I wouldn't worry about it too much!
Are you registered at a major national store (like Bloomingdales or Williams Sonoma or Bed Bath and Beyond)? These stores, and a few others, will show up in the weddingchannel.com registry search. Most people just go there to find registries and wedding websites. If you are registered at a local store that isn't included you can create a free wedding website at weddingchannel.com (it's like filling out a word document) and let your guests know where you are registered.
You guests will either do a search online for one or just ask the hostess where you are registered. People want to know where you are registered, so they'll ask. You don't include a registry insert for, say, your own invitation, but you typically do if you're hosting for someone else.
The point of a shower is to "gift" the couple and help them out with their new life, afterall.
If they don't ask around, they might just go to a nice department store and pick you up a nice "safe" gift, like some pretty towels or a crockpot. If you don't like it/need it, you can always return. Your taste is probably not your great aunt matilda's anyways. Or gift cards...your guests will figure it out =]
I remember not too long ago, a bride was upset that some people didn't bring gifts to her couples shower. And there were a bunch of suggestions that that might have been because it was a couples shower, and maybe people didn't know it was an actual "shower".
So, my question is, did the invitation say the word "shower"? I agree that the women will at least know to bring a gift, as long as they know it's a shower (couples or not). But if the wording is a little ambigous, and it can be construed as more of an engagment party, you might need to have the hosts give a shout out or an extra e-mail or something.
@bluespurrs...what exactly do you buy if you are anti-registry? Don't you figure people realllly want the things they have on it?
KateMV: I don't know what bluespurrs opinion is, but I think its more about the whole idea that a gift is something that a person gives with much thought and care to someone and a registry takes away from that special feeling and replaces it with a more noticeable feeling of obligation and a twinge of materialism.
I understand the practicalities of registeries and don't blame brides that have them (shoot I might change my mind and do one). But I do think they sort of take away from traditional gift giving. It's a trade off.
@bluespurs I am curious, why would you not want to get people what they clearly want? just wondering! I feel like people would return stuff they didn't want in a lot of cases though I could be wrong.
as far as this issue, I would let the host know about the website (or create one if you dont have it yet! i love my weddinghchannel site) and have her direct guests there. it is her responsibility to get guests that info, so help her out :)
Ya I have a wedding website (has registry info) already and this will be included on our directions insert in our actual invitation mailing (which will go out this week). Hopefully people will know to go there to find out. The Shower invitation clearly says "couples shower" but I am thinking some might not know to bring a present since it doesn't have registry information. Gosh, I feel so snotty writing this, but it is our only shower!
Don't feel snotty - at all! I love absolutely everything I registered for, so I would hope people would go off the registry! I had a co-worker that I didn't invite to any showers, go to Crate and Barrel and get me a few gifts off my registry. So I think most people, at least most people that can navigate through a registry in-store or on-line, will know to check those places.
@bluespurrs - I have the same question as KateMV. Do you know the people well enough to know what they would want otherwise? I would only trust 1 person going that route...
I'm sure you'll get gifts, but they may have to ask others for the information. Do you have a wedding website that it's on? They probably figured people would go there for information.
I think people will definitely ask around so that they will know where you are registered. You can always get the word out through your families if there are things you really want. FWIW, my actual shower invitations didn't have the registry information printed on them, but my hostess included a card from the store with the registry info.
People will ask around or ask you. Some will just go to the popular stores and do a search for your name. That's what I always do.
So I think I am alone in this, but I am glad they were not included. I don't like when people include the information for their registry with the information. I hate to say it, but I think it's.... tacky. If people want to know about a registry, they can ask someone in the wedding party, the shower host or someone close to the couple.
@kpenn: why would it be tacky? Because it makes a shower seem like a gift-grab? Well, that's exactly the point of a shower; it's supposed to be a gift-grab. ;) And I think everyone attending a shower knows it.
Ya, I thought that was the point of shower, but I wouldn't be mad if someone came and didn't bring a present. I just know if I got an invite to a shower and they didn't put the registry info, I might be a little confused as to whether I am supposed to bring one or not. I might ask around, but some people won't I gues...?
I don't think it is selfish, but I do think people will ask. Maybe the hostess can get the word out before the shower?
@marigold. No, it isn't specifically because it seems like a gift grab, but rather the fact that it says "These are the gifts I want. Get me these." as opposed to the registry being something a guest can inquire about should they choose not to give a gift they have thought of on their own.
I have gotten shower invitations without registry information before. In that case, I either called the bride or the MOH to ask where she was registered, no big deal. I've also just gone onto Macy's website to search for registries since almost everyone registers there.
I think it's tacky to do it for yourself, but when you're hosting for someone else, it's perfectly acceptable. The hostess usually doesn't want to call up all 30 people she invited and tell everyone individually what the bride needs or where she's registered--it's easier for small showers, but for big ones, it's simply impractical. It's like asking the mother, "what does your kid want for his birthday?" and you telling him, "oh he wants THIS" and it just, in general, makes everyone's life easier.
It's not like a registry is, er "fun" gifts, they're practical. Like a mixer or food processor. Things the couple NEEDS.
I hate having to actually ask where the couple is registered...I just prefer to be told. Then I can click, buy, and get moving!
I wouldn't worry about it. My invitations to my shower said nothing about where I was registered and everyone figured it out. Even my mom's ditzy but sweet good friend who was explaining to how magical it was when she went to bed bath and beyond and they all pulled up my registry for her.
I had a shower and no registry information was included on the invite and every single thing I received (no joke) came off of my registry. I wouldn't worry.
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We just got our invitation for our couple's shower in a couple of weeks. It is such a cute invitation, but they accidentally left off where we are registered. This might sound bad and spoiled, but are people going to know to bring a gift if it doesn't saw where we are registered? I have never gotten an invitation to a shower where it didn't show this information.