Post # 1
this has been bothering me for awhile & would appreciate your thoughts.
im the 2nd wife. Been together 3.5 years. Now married.
My mother in law, nice lady. Still has a framed picture on her cabinet in the dining room of my husbands first wife & my husband & a few others in it. It’s old. -they have been separated 6 years now.
No framed pictures of me in this house. (It would still bother me even if their were)
we hang out in this room for most family functions.
mentioned it to my husband & he says she has probably forgot about it. doesn’t bother him obviously and he didn’t offer to say anything to his mom. He blows it off. I’m upset he knows I’m uncomfortable with it & he does nothing.
Would this bother you?
It does bother me. How should I handle it?
Post # 3
@Leo19: you forget about it.
it’s her house.
Post # 4
@Leo19: I would try to get your husband to mention it to his mom. If that won’t work, maybe just comment on how young/different/oh look same hair style your husband is in that picture. Hopefully that will help clue her in that there are no pictures of you and only of the ex.
Post # 5
It would probably bother me a little, but I probably wouldnt bring it up to her. Its her house, and she probably doesnt even notice it anymore. Your hubby maybe isnt mentioning it because he doesnt think its an issue, or he thinks it could make a mountain out of a molehill. I’m also of the thought that the past still happened whether we like it or not and she was a big part of his life and hers for a while.
Maybe for Christmas you can get her a nice framed photo of you and hubby!
Post # 6
Sticky situation….I understand your discomfort but if you and Mother-In-Law were close enough for her to care about your feelings about pictures in her house, shouldn’t you be able to inquire about it yourself?
do they have children together? could there be a reason for her keeping the picture?
As for your husband’s position…when you mentioned it, did you say it makes me uncomfortable and I’d like you to talk to her about it? Sometimes you have to be explicit…if you just mentioned it like “hey, did you notice that pic? why does she have it?” He’s probably like “yeah, she just forgot about it” doesn’t think it’s that serious and he wouldn’t offer to say something to his mother over something that’s not a big deal. Or even another, maybe he knows his mother won’t take it down…so he doesn’t want to bring it up to her and possibly start a war between the two of you with him in the middle…
A few reasons…I’d say either mention it to him again and tell him how it makes you feel, or mention it to her (calmly), or try not to be bothered by it…it might be up just for the other people in the picture…
Post # 7
@AB Bride: that is brilliant! Thank you! (: