Post # 1
So I had my wedding on Saturday, and I was so lucky to have pretty much everything go wonderfully well. It was great to see everything come together, and all of the projects I had been working on turned out really well. At the reception, it seemed like everyone was having a great time. My now husband and I were having a great time and danced and goofed around on the dance floor the entire time.
However, something happened that almost ruined my evening and I now can’t stop thinking about it. I had just changed into my second dress since my dress had gotten too hot, and I hurried out onto the dance floor. While my fiance and I were dancing, a female server interupted us. She asked me, “My name, are you pregnant? Because it looks like you are with your belly popping out.” She then touched my stomach. I just stood there in shock and then told my husband what happened. We decided not to let it affect our evening, and I tried to forget about it. For the record, I am 5’11 and 138 pounds. While I may not have a perfect body, I definitely do not think I look pregnant, and no one has ever said this to me before. My husband had noticed her sitting in the guest seats and glaring at us throughout the reception.
Yesterday my husband called the caterer and told the caterer about this incident. The caterer was completely shocked and apologetic. He said that individual would no longer be working for the company. I keep thinking about the inicident. It has really been bothering me. In addition to making me feel really self-conscious, it is tainting my memory of the day.
Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else? Does anyone have any advice for getting past this? The only people who know about this are the caterer and my husband.
Post # 3
Well honestly there shouldn’t be anything to “get past” at this point. Your husband has called the catering manager, and the catering manager will discipline the server (well, even more than discipline it sounds like). I think at this point you just kind of have to let it go. You’ll never see that server again so you’ll never be able to ask what made her say that, and you just need to chalk it up to “sometimes people say stupid things” and let it go.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
omg how incredibly rude!! I’m so sorry that happened to you! It sucks but try and focus on the fun, happy, beautiful details of your day. And realize that that server was jealous and bitter for whatever reason, and you had a much better day than she did!!
Post # 6
That is awful!!!
She sounds bitter about something. Sadly some people are just not nice. I’m so sorry that someone was cruel to you on your wedding day but honestly chalk this up to someone else’s issues not you!!
Post # 7
@neoncupcake: That is very strange behavior. It’s possible this person has some type of mental or psychological issues if she touched you and also glared at you throughout the reception. There could be a million reasons to explain it but you’ll never really know why. If she was an ideal, model employee there would have been an explanation rather than a firing. If it makes you feel better, call back and ask what kind of person she was. I personally would drop it, though.
Realize that this is most likely was disturbed person, in some way. Or maybe she recently got dumped, maybe she’s pregnant herself, who knows. But letting it taint your memories of your wedding or making you feel insecure is foolish. So stop it already, lol. 😉
Post # 8
That’s ridiculous. It sounds like she knows you and wanted to upset you tbh. Just one more asinine thing people say, don’t let it bother you. There’s pretty much no way you could look pregnant at 5’11” and 138 unless you are pregnant.
Post # 9
That does stink, but people say dumb things – and it really should be a rule not to ask someone if they are pregnant!
Just brush it off & know that you looked fab no matter what some stranger said.
Post # 10
sounds like she may have mental issues. Don’t worry about what she said. You realize you don’t look pregnant, right? at your height and weight there’s no way you could.
I think you need to post some pics from your wonderful day so we can make you feel better!
Post # 11
OMG!!! I’m so sorry that this happened to you!!! It really sounds like someone was filled with jealousy for a moment there…don’t let it ruin your memories…there are tons of other horror stories out there, and it could have been MUCH worse! If everything else went off without a hitch, I’d say you had a pretty awesome wedding day!
Post # 12
There’s no way you could look pregnant unless you actually are. I’m 5’6″ and 140# and I don’t look pregers…there’s no way you could being 5’11”. Some people just suck…
Post # 13
I agree with PP. There’s nothing for YOU to get past. She was clearly a rude, unprofessional, and miserable person that really had no business working for a catering company (or really anything involving contact with other humans).
Some people are just like this. I was watching some show on Food Network where they spy on restaurant employees and one of the employees was just like this one. For example, she asked one pregnant diner how far along she was, mocked her size and then asked the husband “as a joke”, “Are you sure this is your baby?” Awkward.
Given your size and weight, I highly highly highly doubt you looked pregnant. Even bloated, at that size and weight, there’s no way you would look pregnant.
Post # 14
I can’t even fathom this. I know it seems off the wall, but is it possible she was a scorned ex or past coworker or school acquaintance of yours? I know that people from high school recognize me, but I often don’t recognize them at all. Unless, as Sunfire said, she has some kind of disorder that would affect her perception of socially acceptable comments or touching, there is something super weird about that.
You sound very fit, and I’m glad you didn’t let it ruin your reception. Also glad the caterer took action.
Post # 15
Thanks for all the positive comments, ladies! I was feeling pretty confident in my dress, and everyone was was mentioning how beautiful I looked. I know people tend to say these things to the bride, but I was believing them up until this person “burst my bubble.”
There is no way she knew either of us, but that would make more sense. My husband believes that she was either drunk or on drugs. She was older and quite heavy set herself. I noticed her sitting in one of guest seats earlier in the evening, and I was trying to figure out who she was. She was glaring directly at me, and I now realize she was trying to involve me in some sort of conflict for whatever reason.
I know her comment was more of a reflection of her than my appearance, but it is still difficult to get over. Thanks for the support!
Post # 16
@neoncupcake: I know it seems difficult to get over, but she was just obviously out to try to ruin your night by making that comment. Clearly everyone else at your wedding thought you looked beautiful, and so did your now husband.
Try to focus on the wonderful things of that night. If you let what she said get to you, then she wins, which is exactly what she wanted. So just brush her off as some incredibly rude and jealous woman who tried to unsuccessfully ruin your evening.