Post # 1
I am being thrown two really awesome showers. I feel so lucky! =) But I need hostess gift help!
1. The first is a family shower, being thrown by an aunt, a god mother/aunt and her daughter, who is 13. At first I was only going to give a hostess present to the two adults but my mom seems to feel that would be rude because the 13 year old will be listed on the invite as a hostess. I found it odd to give a gift b/c she’s not giving any of her money or space to hold the shower and she’s not really doing much…she’s 13. 🙂 So do I give a gift to her? And what? Ideally, I would like to spend no more than $30 on each aunt and $15 (if I have to gift) for the teen. She can’t use things from Bath and B’Works because she has skin allergies. She dances…that is her life.
2. The second is for a dear friend I have known about 14 years. She has supported our relationship from the start and has just been a true shining star through all of my wedding stuff. I mean, if I could give her a litera gold star from the sky, I would….she’s been awesome. She’s been married for a few years, has an established home and 2 small kids. I was thinking a massage at a local spa. Does this sound like a good idea?
What are you giving?
Post # 3
Etiquette Snob here… lol
Lucky gal you are getting more than one shower. Shows people really do love you and excited by your wedding. You are blessed for sure.
From an etiquette point of view… If the 13 year old’s name is on the Invite as a Hostess… then YES you have to thank her appropriately… to not do so would be a SNUB
(Guessing here that her Mom wants to make her feel more grown up, and connected to the idea of Marriage is a big deal… Mom is probably using it as a teaching moment… so don’t disappoint. Do the right thing, and send her a SEPERATE Thank You note and gift)
As you say the gift doesn’t have to be as large as the one for her Mom, who is obviously going to be doing more (guessing tho that the 13 year old will be helping out… certainly was something I did as a teen when my Mom was Hosting people in our home… taking Coats, passing nibbles, etc)
If she loves to dance then that is a good place to start… a charm of ballerina shoes comes to mind.
But if you are truly stuck, it would be ok to ask her Mom after the Party what she might like (in so much as you would be sending your Thank You Notes & Gifts afterwards)
As for the other Party’s Hostess, your friend… a Massage sounds lovely. I am sure she’ll appreciate it.
Hope this helps,
Post # 4
@This Time Round: I too am an “etiquette snob” hence my asking! I want to make sure I’m doing it right. Nothing bothers me more than to not have the proper manners. I cringe. 🙂
I have never heard of a child hosting an event but when she asked if I minded her name be on the invite, I said of course not! I felt it was precious. I haven’t scoured the Internet yet looking for advice on this…just thought I would ask here. But I have to admit it’s a bit of a different situation. I thought about having a small flower arrangement made for her using bright flowers like sunflowers or daffodils and thanking her for being the “extra bit of sunshine” on this very fun event. I also saw a idea on Pinterest where you take all yellow items and put them in a cute decorated box and call it a “Box of Sunshine” and thanking her for the same thing.
She already has a ballet charm…many of them. She has a charm bracelet that was started for her quite a number of years ago. She also doesn’t wear it, unfortunately.
I thought about some fun, personalized stationary but when she was born I gave her mom an adorable, fun stationary for her. I thought her mom would use it to write thank you notes for gifts from birthdays and the holidays until she was old enough to write. I never got one thank you note on that stationary, much less any thank you note. :/ So I’m thinking that might be out!
Thanks for your response. You always have such nice posts. 🙂
Post # 5
Lovein’ the Sunshine idea…
Perhaps a consumable Thank You Gift better fits this family… because sadly, as you have pointed out, they don’t seem to get the value to be found in a long term gift that keeps on giving.
Post # 6
Is a gift card too impersonal? I think at that age they love going hang out with friends and at the movies. Maybe a movie gift card?
Post # 7
@Coral99: Maybe for your aunts a few items, like a nice bottle of wine and a nice candle or a B&BW lotion? Or one of those things and a lovely bouquet of flowers in a beautiful vase?
As a dance coach, I think the 13 year old would love some funky “foot undiez” or “dance paws”, as we call them. It’s always nice to have a cute pair in your dance bag for dance class! You can get them online at all different price points or at any local dance supply store: http://www.amazon.com/Soles-Danshuz-Neoprene-choices-Leopard/dp/B00DZ9SK82/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&qid=1375651651&sr=8-15&keywords=Dance+paws
And I think a massage for your friend sounds lovely!