(Closed) hostesses invited people to shower not on guest list??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should my unexpected shower guests be invited to the wedding?
    Yes : (3 votes)
    11 %
    No : (24 votes)
    89 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Ok, here’s the deal as I see it: most people know the bride doesn’t throw her own shower. And yeah, guest lists get added to by others… so I don’t think that you necessarily have to invite these people. However, I think it would be gracious of you if you are able, to include them.

    Or, perhaps, mention in your shower thank-you note how you regret the wedding having to be so small, and mention plans to have dinner with them shortly after the wedding. They’ll still feel included that way.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Private home

    It’s just not possible to invite everyone!  When everyone married people from their hometown and you knew everyone, THEN it was definitely rude not to invite people to both events, but I’m getting married in NC, Live in KY and my hometown is in Oregon!  Both my shower and my Bachelorette party are being thrown by friends of mine in KY because most of them are not able to come to the wedding for various reasons.  So it’s kindof nice that these people get to celebrate with you, even though you can’t invite everyone to the main event.

    Cinema – Inviting them to dinner (if you can) is a great idea!

    Post # 5
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    In my area it is very common to invite people to a shower who aren’t coming to a wedding.  We’ve always been invited to 3rd cousin’s showers or coworker’s showers without getting an invite.  I don’t think it’s a problem at all. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. I know everyone says the hard and fast rule is that you have to invite everyone that comes to the shower, but I really don’t think that it matters all that much. I don’t think the person will be offended.

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