Post # 1
Hey Bees! My FI and I just got engaged on Sunday. (Yipee!) We would love to get together with our friends to celebrate. I feel it would be tacky for us to throw our own engagement party but I’m certainly not going to ask someone else to throw it for us. Would it be weird/tacky for us to host our own “celebration” with our close friends (about 15 people)? We aren’t looking for gifts or anything like that, we just want to get together with everyone.
What are your thoughts?
Post # 3
I struggled with this as well. I really wanted to do it because our families have never met (both live out of state). We are throwing the party ourselves but I put on the invite “with the help of the bridal party”. My bridesmaids suggested that we add their names to the invite since I was feeling pretty weird about throwing myself a party. They are helping with decorations, etc. so technically I am not lying 🙂
I think a small celebration is totally appropriate. If it makes you feel better, put that no gifts are necessary on the invite!
Post # 4
We hosted an open bar night at a dueling piano bar. We offered a buffet dinner but then everyone paid for their own drinks. It was basically a way to say “Thank you” to all our friends and family for supporting us and our engagement and wedding. We made it very clear we were not expecting presents and that it was just a way for everyone to come together before the wedding.
Post # 5
Nah I think it’s fine, especially for something that small. I don’t see how it’s different than me hosting my own wedding.
Post # 6
@Bubbles42: +1. I voted before I read your post (sorry but I voted for “other”) I thought you were going to host a party bigger than that but 15 ppl is fine. I was going to comment to save that money and put it towards the wedding but 15 ppl won’t be that big of a deal to feed.
Post # 7
@Nicolettekds: I personally think it is something that should be hosted by someone else, like a baby shower. We got invited to one hosted by the couple and we didn’t go.
Post # 8
@Nicolettekds: I was reading about this in the Knot magazine, and they said that as long as you host it and provide *everything* yourself, it’s fine. Make it clear you aren’t looking for gifts, pay for everyones food and beverages, and you’re in the clear. Not everyone has family to throw them engagement parties, it doesnt mean they shouldnt get to have one.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Nicolettekds: Don’t call it an engagement party; technically you can’t host a party in your own honor. Invite everyone over for a BBQ instead. You’ll get the same effect of an engagement party without calling it an engagement party.
Post # 10
@Nicolettekds: We had our own engagement party that we threw last summer because we were having a destination wedding and we wanted to be able to celebrate with everyone. I dont see it as tacky regardless of what others say
Post # 11
In NZ, it isn’t tacky at all to host your own party. I have been organising and decorating for an engagement party at my parent’s house. We are providing nibbles and everyone is bringing their own drinks(we are providing bubbles for a small toast). I guess mine and FI’s parents could be considered hosts as well. We aren’t expecting gifts though, it is simply a way to get together and celebrate this step in our journey together.
Post # 12
I think it’s fine. I would call it an engagement celebration and make sure you are providing all the refreshments and whatnot. I would also make it clear that gifts are not expected. I’m sure people will show up with hostess-type gifts anyway but that’s the same as if you threw a dinner party or a BBQ.
Post # 13
Why the heck not?! I’ve been invited to engagement parties. It’s like happy hour where she gets to show off her ring and guys joke about how this is the end of an era, but what a way to go…
ETA: Never brought a gift, and no one else seemed to feel compelled to either. I did go to one where the bride’s older sister was there and gave her sister, the future bride, a bracelet that she’d worn at her own wedding. It was their grandmother’s, who’d passed away before either were married. I’m not really sure it counted as a gift, but it was really sentimental and sweet.
Post # 14
Give it a little time; I bet one of your friends will throw something together even if it is just a happy hour at a bar. Failing that, maybe you can just host a regular party if you really want to thank your friends and family for being generally awesome.
Post # 15
We hosted our own engagement party. We had 100% attendance. We did not make any mention of “no gifts” or whatever because it is not a gift giving event anyway. We did not have any problems with people thinking gifts were expected.
We also had a surprise engagement party thrown by my mother. It was mostly my side of the family and all brought gifts…go figure!
Post # 16
@Nicolettekds: It’s fine, as long as there’s no formal invite and no gift requests!
DH planned ours for the night we got engaged, so I got a surprise engagement party!