(Closed) Hosting your own engagement party

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You can’t throw your own engagement party – you dont’ throw a party in honor of yourself. That’s bad etiquette. Just do the housewarming party and make no mention of an engagement party. You’ll still probably get gifts and well wishes.

And if you did decide to throw a joint party, then you really can’t invite anyone you wouldn’t invite to the wedding.

 

Post # 4
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@onourway13:  Etiquette states that neither the couple nor the couple’s immediate family should host the engagement party and that everyone invited to the engagement party must be invited to the wedding.

 

So go ahead and plan this party, but just call it a housewarming and let everyone oogle at your ring and talk wedding stuff at this housewarming party! I think nowadays people tend not to bring gifts to both housewarming and engagement parties, maybe just bottles of wine etc. So I wouldn’t think it would look gift-grabby at all.

 

Post # 6
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@onourway13:  Since your guest list includes people that won’t be invited to the wedding, then my vote is for housewarming party (only).  People will still be excited about your upcoming wedding ๐Ÿ™‚  And perhaps you could do a toast to celebrate your engagement at the housewarming party … but I’d be leery to do that too, since it opens up hurt feelings when guests don’t get a wedding invite (unless you start the ‘we are having a very small wedding due to budge concerns’ speech).

 

ETA:  OR what you could do is a housewarming party (for all your friends) and then later a simple engagement party (I’d only invite those you are inviting to the wedding).  Think about it – if you were invited to an engagement party and not the wedding, how would that make you feel?  To me, it’s similar to a shower – if you are close enough friends to get an invite to a wedding celebratory event, you are close enough to expect an invitation to the wedding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 8
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@onourway13:  common perhaps, but still not polite.

Post # 10
Member
7175 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@onourway13:  Congrats on the house and the engagement, btw!  Lots of happy changes for you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 11
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@onourway13:  I may be confusing the immediate family part with showers…. I think I read that showers should not be hosted by the immediate family because it still looks gift-grabby. Sorry, I stand corrected.

Post # 15
Member
387 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I say do what you want! I personally wouldn’t want my family or close friends to incur the cost of hosting our engagement or housewarming party as we are having a semi-destination wedding – that seems $$ ‘grabby’ to me. I do agree though, that if you call  it an engagement party you should invite them to the wedding. Maybe forgo all the labels? 

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