Hotel Reservation/No RSVP Received

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

When is your RSVP date? You cannot do ANYTHING until that has come and gone. Sorry it’s frustrating. If you needed the rsvps back sooner, you should have put a a sooner date. Maybe people made hotel reservations even though e aren’t sure they’coming ing – it’s easier to cancel a hotel than to find out last minute they ran out of rooms!

Post # 4
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

what until the rsvp date and then call and say you haven’t received theirs.


Post # 5
11604 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t call until after your RSVP date has passed.  At least you know that they’re coming for planning purposes!

Post # 6
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@red_rose:  +1 Don’t contact them until the RSVP date has passed.

Post # 7
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

YES you cannot call until AFTER the Deadline you gave them has passed.

I agree 100% with red_rose: (Reply # 2) more than likely they booked the Hotel space once they knew the details in hopes that they wouldn’t miss out on the “package”… now they need to figure out if they are indeed coming or not.

Saying YES at the last minute, and not having a Hotel space would be a lot more problematic (and might turn a YES into a NO if all the rooms at a good rate were gone and they had to look elsewhere or could only find a more expensive spot)

My BEST ADVICE… 4 or 5 Days after your Printed Deadline (so as to allow for any that were mailed day of) get on the phone and start friendly calling folks to ask / remind them about their late RSVPs.

Honestly the RSVP cycle is the MOST STRESSFUL of Pre-Wedding Planning Events… but it is also one of the last big hurdles… after that, the Wedding itself is right round the corner

Hang in there… this too shall pass (( HUGS ))


Post # 8
1243 posts
Bumble bee

@FutureMrsLadolcetta:  Hotel rooms are easy to cancel.  Frankly, if there was a chance I couldn’t make it I would still book a room.  

After your RSVP date has passed, contact the people you haven’t heard from. At this point they may still not know their intentions but hope to come and don’t want to be left without a room if they can make it. 

Post # 9
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


I had several guests book a hotel room after the Save the Dates went out…..

My guess is that people want to lock in the special rate before they forgot or before they thought the block of rooms would fill up. 

I actually had one cousin’s boyfriend book a room before I could even figure out if he could come (numbers crunch and I really wasnt sure if plus one’s could be extended to family (not to mention the fact that I have never met this boyfriend)).

As for the missing RSVP’s….. Etiquette like chivalry appears to be dead……… 



Post # 11
29 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

I guess I’m going to give a different answer than everyone else. I wouldn’t call and start hounding people for their RSVPs at this point, but I would spread the word to people like your mom and your fiance’s mom. When they naturally run into people have them casually ask if they’re coming to the wedding. That’s what we did when I realized no one in my DH’s family knows how to RSVP. It worked well for us. It also didn’t seem like we were bothering people for not responding either. When we would hear from one of our parents that someone was coming we went ahead and marked them as attending. We ended up having 85 RSVPs and we had 86 show up. But we did a buffet with no assigned seating, so this worked for us. 

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