- 7 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I really need advice on this as I don’t know what is appropriate.
I have lived in Rome for over six years, and am getting married here the 29th of May. My immediate family and close friends are making the trip for the wedding, and I am unbelievably grateful for their sacrifice. One friend, (not a bridesmaid, although she considers me one of her best friends) a single 30-something who lives in Manhattan, is coming for a good chuck of time. She loves to travel, and especially adores Italy, so for her I know that my wedding was a fantastic excuse to take another trip here. I guess she decided that she might as well stay for a while since she was spending so much on the ticket, and is arriving the 19th and leaving the 31st. Before she purchased the ticket she asked if she could stay with me for part of the time to cut costs and I reluctantly said “a couple of nights” at the beginning would be ok. Then I scoured the Internet looking for cheap housing options for her (with the staggering to-do list every bride has). All my suggestions were met with veiled distaste. A hostel was out of the question, she wouldn’t mind renting out a room but it had to be in the center of town, didn’t want to spend more that 40euros per night, etc, etc. I tried to explain nicely that Rome is f’n expensive, but she still held out. I managed to convince another friend who is coming from Germany for just the 26th to the 31st if they could stay together (only 37 euros per night each and right by my apartment and the church!!) and I had to talk her into agreeing to do that! But she still needs a place until the 26th, although she’s thinking of doing a bit of traveling during those days. (I hinted that I would be spending a lot of time w family those days.)
Here’s the thing, my apartment is tiiiiiny. Just one very small bedroom, one medium sized living room with a comfortable but not pullout couch, one bath and one tiny kitchen. FI is extremely private and has a hard time sharing his personal space, and my mom is going to be there a bit later too, for two nights, the 24th and 25th. My friend assumes she’s staying 3 nights, in fact would have hoped to stay longer, but I said I needed Sunday (the 22nd) to be alone and reflect on my upcoming major life-change. I should also add that this person is very over-bearing, and has a tendency to take over any situation she is in. She asked us to pick her up from the airport (as if we don’t have enough to do) and she asked to leave her bags (which I am sure will be huge) at our place while she takes a short trip to Tuscany from around the 22nd to 26th. (While Mom will be with us). Our house is already overflowing with wedding stuff and I cannot handle clutter. It makes me really, really stressed out (not exaggerating).
FI has begged me to tell her she can only stay 2 nights and cannot leave her stuff. I would prefer that as well, but I don’t know how to tell her. In her mind she is coming early to “help me” get ready for the wedding (I don’t want or need her help, she will just take over!) so I don’t want to be mean, esp as she is coming so far.
My question for the wise hive (since I have no perspective on this anymore) is:
Can I tell her she can only stay 2 nights? Can I tell her she cannot use our tiny flat as a baggage depository? I want to be calm and relaxed the week before my wedding, is that selfish?