Post # 1
Hello all! I haven’t gotten this far with baby books, so I apologize if this is a dumb question. We’re expecting two house guests for the weekend about 3 weeks after we have our first baby. They’re in town for a graduation, so they’ll be entertaining themselves for a good bit of the time. We have a big house with segmented areas, so the couple will have their own room and bathroom upstairs while the baby is downstairs with us. They’re dear friends–through my husband–and we stayed with them in San Francisco last year for a week where they were excellent hosts. I’m talkng arranged Napa tours, sightseeing, restaurants–the whole nine yards. The girl has stayed with us before. She’s really independent and won’t expect to be babysat.
We’ve warned them that baby will eat every 2 hours, we’ll be up at all hours and he’ll probably cry a lot. I know my friends that had babies at that age were zombies and didn’t know what day it was. I’m worried I will be a terrible hostess–they’ve been warned, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. My husband works from home so he’ll be here and able to be the host, but can y’all share what life might be like with a 3 week old? Husband is thinking we might be able to go out to eat but I’m doubtful. Would love to hear your thoughts on what we can expect with a 3 week old so I can help my husband’s expectations?
Post # 3
Wether life is easy or hard with a 3 month old, you wont know until you get there.
I would plan on having some easy breakfast and snacks available for them (cereal, bars, fruit etc) and then let them do what they want.
I cant image friends who would expect anything of you guys at that time after having a baby. If you feel up to it, maybe order dinner in and serve a nice dinner, but dont stress about it.
Let them do what they want to do.
To be nice leave towels, soap, maybe bottled water etc in their guest room so they know you are thinking about them. But dont over extend yourselves. Just be as nice as you can be.
Post # 4
We have a 4-week old and have had a lot of houseguests already — some family, which is easy, but also some friends. The key is not to set the expectation that you’ll be hosting them the way you normally would, which it sounds like you’ve already done. You’ll probably just be hanging out at home most of the day, and you may not be up to preparing meals for everyone. I’d plan to order takeout or let them eat out without you. If your baby is really easy, you may be comfortable going out to a restaurant, but don’t count on it. As long as you keep expectations low, you’ll have a great time. It’s nice having company in those early weeks when you’re somewhat housebound!
Post # 5
I took my 2 week old to a steak house because it was DH’s 30th Bday and his parents wanted to take us out. I fed him before we left and ended up needing to feed him during desert and we had a private area for dinner so I was able to stay at the table to do it. He slept through the rest of the time. It will depend if you have a good baby that will easily sleep in their carseat (or a sling/wrap.. Whatever). My LO is 4 weeks now and I think we could have handled house guests if we needed to as long as they don’t expect gourmet meals, or you to have makeup/hair done. If you are uncomfortable with people seeing you “messy” then it might not be for you because makeup and hair become low on the totem pole in the early days.
Besides the feedings, a 3 week old will still sleep quite a bit so you will still be able to socialize with them. And if you are breastfeeding then you will probably have the hang of it an be over the hurdles by 3 weeks which will lower your stress levels.
Post # 6
My doctor told me not to take a newborn baby out into crowded public places before 6 weeks. A walk in the park is fine, but I would not do a restaurant, personally.
Post # 7
The first couple weeks of my daughter’s life are a total blur to me. But I was dealing with PPD and anxiety in addition to the usual new baby exhaustion (I didn’t sleep for nearly five days).
Around the third week I started feeling somewhat alive again, but I was still useless as far as keeping up with housework and cooking, let alone hosting guests.
I think if your DH is available to help, your guests are fine with entertaining themselves and they can distance themselves enough from any nighttime crying episodes, it should all work out ok. But trust me, you will be tired and have pretty much no clue what’s going on around you.
Post # 8
I just am really surprised that your friends would find it acceptable to come be house guests at your home 3 weeks after you’ve had a baby. Personally, I just find it rude. Sure they’ll be entertaining themsevles, but I know I’m still worried when I have house guests that they are taken care of. Do they have enough of this, or enough of that? You know what I mean. I feel like it’s different if it’s close family or my BFF that is like my sister, but just friends? Eh, not.
Personally I wouldn’t cater to them. Make sure they have towels and toilet paper, and know where the cups/drinks are. Aside from that, just let them know up front that you won’t be hosting them like you normally would.
Post # 9
I would also expect this couple to fend for themselves almost entirely in this situation. In their place I’d have booked a hotel room even if the OP had invited me to stay.
Post # 10
For me, the first two weeks were the hardest; by week 3 I was just starting to feel like I’d come up for air. But no way I’d have been up to hosting guests the way I usually like to (cooking nice meals, planning an outing or two, making sure the house is clean, etc.). In addition to warning these friends that baby will be feeding and crying at all hours of the day and night I’d make it clear that they’ll be on their own for meals and such. If when the time comes you feel up to taking the baby out to dinner or whatever, great, but I wouldn’t count on it.