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I put 50/50 but, I think it's more 60/40 (FI/ME). First, let me say, I'm 33-FI's 43. I feel guilty about him doing so much. He cooks dinner at least 5 times a week and I try to be the prep-help or clean-up as much as possible. He does things without being asked and if I do ask him to do something for me (like changing the oil in my truck), I rarely have to ask twice. I always make sure I thank him for EVERYTHING...even the littlist of things, like putting a new soap in the shower. I do enjoy cleaning so, all the tub scrubbin', dusting, mopping or vacuuming is all me. I feel like I get a mini work-out when cleaning. :) ...and that's my 40%. Doesn't really seem even. Ok, maybe it's more like 70/30.
"Housewife scared" is what your husband told you - Does that mean afraid of staying at home full time? I think the sharing of the house chores are very important. I think the appreciation of the work done is also equally important. Hopefully you get work soon! (wink)
we have a system that I'm happy with.
he does the brunt of the cooking, takes out the compost, and goes to the grocery store (chores I hate).
I do almost all of the cleaning - I find it relaxing (I know, weird, right?). I also go to target for dry goods.
everything else we split doing. our laundry is kept separate. I would highly recommend that!
I do most of the chores bu DH helps out. Sometimes its irritating when he just exspects that I should do it all, but we are working it out.
why is there no SO does 70 and I do 30? He likes it cleaner than I do and I'm busier...he does most of the cooking and cleaning
I dont think it's even, but I think its fair. I do all the inside stuff most the time, cook, clean, organize, laundry. He helps out once in a while, sort of, load up and run the dishwasher, kick off the roomba. He does all the outside stuff that I rather not, take out the trash, get out and snow blow the driveway. He cleans the toilets too when I ask him to cause I hate doing that.
We try to keep it about 50/50, but there are expections. I work more than FI does, so he's home more, so helps out more. I did once read and article though about how people generally overestimate how much work they do and underestimate how much their partner does.
I think the easiest way is to set specific chores each of you take care of (I do the laundry, FI always deals with the garbage/recycling, dishes) so even if for a time you are doing more, at least those core roles are separate. This, of course, if you're trying to do 50/50.
Yeah, I hear all of you. We do 50/50 too but when I'm not working I feel I have to do more and then I fell like he gets really comfortable and slowly starts easing himself into the idea of a warm plate food when he arrives from work. I mean I know that I'm not working right now, but come on right?
Nope, he should still pick up after himself. You're his wife, not his maid or mother. I work 40 hrs a week, FI works 50-60. He also has a much more stressful job, so likes to relax when he gets home. I do everything except for his laundry and taking out the trash. He's a big boy, he can wash and put away his own clothes. I've been doing my own laundry since I was 12, it isn't hard. Taking out the trash is just yucky, so I make him do it.
"Housewife scared" sounds like he's just trying to guilt you into it, in my opinion. Stand your ground girl LOL
We hired someone to come in and deep clean every other week. If he is on night shifts or off while I am working, he cleans. If he is on days and I am too, it's equal. If he's working weekends and I am off, I do it.
But there are times where I know I do more than him.
We try not to keep track because we found keeping track of who did what put pressure on our relationship. We try to keep it as even as possible and switch chores if needed. Basically we try to do it as a team, if that means I do more of the work one week or he does more the other that's fine with me (:
I've given up with the 50/50 mentality I started out with. We both clean when the other can't. Usually, I think that's me most of the time - but he does his fair share too - so, it all works out. I stopped being bitter about the 50/50 issue and ever since I let it go, it seems more even (funny how that works).
We do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. Although I just left my job to start school next week, so I feel as if I need to be doing more around the house now...
My husband is currently unemployed and I work. Since he's at home, he actually does about 90% of the chores. When we were both working, it was about 50/50
UGH I'm jealous of the 50/50 girls or even ones who's SO's do all the work! Goodness! I without a doubt do 90-100% of the work. My SO works ALOT of hours and he brings home the bacon hahaha. I work full time as well but my checks are definitely 1/3 less than his. I feel as though my contribution is to keep the apartment clean, and food ready to eat. Along with laundry etc etc. It's a little old fashioned but I don't know, my mom always did everything for my dad and us kids....so that's just kinda where I see things. It would definitely be nice to have a LITTLE help AKA: not leaving your dirty shit on the bathroom floor or your plates on the counter. come on!! hahah :-P
DH takes out the trash and cleans the catbox 50% of the time. I do everything else including cooking. However, DH works a lot more than me and makes more money. I work a lot and have a great job too though...
Honestly, its just easier if I do it myself. lol
He does way more than me. He's ok with doing a mediocre job, but I'm more of an all or nothing person and it's frequently more on the side of nothing. I do most of the planning stuff though (what's for dinner, grocery list, paying rent & bills, in general keeping track of what needs to get done), and am trying to be better at doing partial jobs more frequently.
Why is there not an option for the husband doing more? That does exist.
My husband does more chores than I do because my asthma gets really irritated with dust and cleaning fumes. I do the finances and other logistics to help balance the duties out!
I was other. My fiance does more than I do and I love it, I hate cleaning. We cook dinner together, or sometimes he'll just cook. We share taking care of the pets, alternate bathroom cleaning, but he mostly does the dishes and kitchen stuff. I sweep. So I'd guess 60-70%/40-30% him to me.
I answered 70/30 in my household and it annoys the crap out of me because I think it should be 50/50. However, I started reading a book called What No One Tells the Bride and there was a section about this. Basically what I've come to realize is that we both really hate cleaning so when we have the funds we are going to get a cleaning service to come every other week. Just because we are told we have to do it all doesn't mean we have to. We ladies need some sanity. I mean hell we work, cook, clean and some are raising children!
It's about 70/30 but he does more than I do. I cook, clean, etc at work, so it's not really ideal for me to do those things all day. We do clean house and cook together on occasion but he does most house work other than my laundry (which we still do mostly separate other than t-shirts, socks and jeans sometimes). He wasn't working for a large chunk of the time we've been living together so things got passed over to him when he was home most of the day. Now that we're both working our house is very messy, but we're working gradually through it.
@oracle: that's it! we have to start doing that! the voice of reason right here!
Well.... he does pull his weight, and the house never gets too out of control but I would say I do more on a daily basis i.e. pick up as I go along and he would rather save all the chores for one day and get it done in one fatal swoop!
I will say though.. I have never once had to empty the trash can, he always does!
I voted 70% me 30% him because that was the closest to us when it comes to house chores.
My husband works full time. I am a stay at home house wife. So I see it as 50/50, team work! He works at his job & I work cleaning & cooking. But he still does some chores. He takes out the trash & cleans the litter box. He will also help with anything I ask. :-)
I said 70/30 but it's probably more like 80/20 or even 90/10. However, DH does do all of our budgeting and bill paying so if you count that as a chore then it's 70/30 because I know that's a lot of work. If you're talking about actually cleaning and house chores - then yeah I do the majority of it. DH will do things if I ask him to, he just doesn't take the initiative because he doesn't care about messiness as much as I do!
I dont like to keep score for who does what, i think it breeds resentment. In general, i cook and he cleans up. But sometimes i do both or he does both. He takes out the trash and walks the dog more than i do, but i take care of all the bills, put away the groceries and feed the dog. We both clean the house as needed. FI probably does more than i do, but i think the important thing is we both feel like the other pulls their weightand contributes to the household.
I voted "other" because my FI does more than me. Way more actually.
We don't have any agreements and I don't pay that much attention to it, but I feel it is pretty equal overall. He ends up throwing out the garbage more often and I end up emptying the dishwaher more often. We also have a housekeeper come every other week to do the deep clean, we started that early on and it has been very good for our marriage :)
We're pretty 50/50. We don't really have set rules. Some days he cooks, some I clean. Some nights I cook and do dishes, some nights he cooks and do dishes. It just depends on how we're feeling. Some weeks I'm lazy and don't clean and he does. Some weeks it vice versa. Overall, we both do everything though.
I'm lucky that my husband was taught to cook and clean!!! He's more anal about cleaniless than me...
He lived with roommates for a good while so he's really got a "fairness" thing going. He cleans up after himself, does his own cooking and laundry, does most of his own shopping, does his own dishes.
But everything that's communal I do. All the cleaning of toilets, showers, floors, countertops, windows, etc.
He sometimes will load or unload the dishwasher and he takes out the trash.
At this point it doesn't bug me too much, I wish he would take a little more responsibility for things like the bathroom (which I hate doing), but I appreciate how clean he is.
It's probably like 60/40 me/him
I expect 50/50 but for now it seems more like 90/10... @__@
I think it's about 70/30 with me being the slacker... I make him take out the trash and clean the bunny's litter box (sometimes I will if necessary of course), I do most of the cooking and dishes, and he usually does the laundry. He's also more gung ho about stuff like cleaning tables, floors, making the bed etc.
I voted 50/50. While I prob do slightly more chores in the house he does everything outside - mowing lawn, cleaning cars, takes out the garbage, yard & house maintance etc. This can actually take way longer!
Inside the house he cleans the bathroom and toilet and I do the rest.
We cook dinner about 50/50 too. We never actually sat down and talked about who does what, it just ended up this way, but we are both more than happy with it.
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I have been havin a household issue. There rule of thumb is 50/50 in my house and there are other rules too: 1. Whoever cooks doesn't do dishes (the other one does). Hoever, recently I was on a long vacation due to work shortage. This happens a lot at work and we can go from having to do overtime to spending overtime at home!! I'ts been a month and a half and I hadn't worked or been in school. During this time I have been keeping the house very tidy and cooked all meals. Just so happens that Hubby has gotten pretty comfortable to the point that he doesn't even pick up after himself! I agree, I have more time and thus I do more chores when I'm not working or in school but I think he still has to do his little part like taking out the trash and picking up his clothes. I have talked to him and he says I get housewife scared. What do you guys think? or what's your situation?