- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
I don’t mean now of course, too young, but in the future?
I’m getting married soon and I know the next step after that is to have children. Well, maybe not the next ‘step’ but the next thing people expect, you know.
I have nothing against kids really, they’re okay and I get on well with them, but I don’t know if I want to be a mom. I was never one of those girls who dreamed of getting married and having babies. Part of me likes the idea of having a family, and another part of me thinks children are the end of your life – career, traveling, going out, being selfish. I still want to get a PhD before I have that kind of major responsibility in my life.
Maybe selfish is the wrong word but of course when you’re a parent your child comes first.
My nephew is 8 months old and believe me, I adore him. I love him to death. He is cute, and sweet, and has the most wonderful personality. I LOVE spending time with him and I think he’s perfect. If there’s any baby that could make me want one of my own, it’s him. Fiance & I kept him for a month (long story) and he was with us 24/7 – I was responsible for every feeding, diaper change, play time, baths, 2 am crying fits, teething. I didn’t mind because he’s just gorgeous and wonderful but I can’t imagine doing that full time. Or for 18 years.
BUT. At the end of the day, I’m always slightly relieved to go home to a childless house.
I sort of feel like I’m not leaning in either direction. I’m not desperate for babies, but the idea of having a family and being a mom is nice. But I can’t tell if that’s because it’s expected and I just assume its the next natural step to take.
How do you know? Fiance wants kids. I’m only 23, it’s not time yet. But does it just come to you one day? The feeling of wanting one or not?