Post # 1
My sister and I were talking about this the other day, as we are both parents of little girls. How and when did you realize you were ‘supposed to’ (air quotes around that to keep people from jumping down my throat about how we’re not REQUIRED to groom anything at all) shave your legs, armpits, bikini area, tame eyebrows, etc.?
My mom didn’t really say a single word about any of it. I had to find it all out on my own. I started shaving my legs in like 6th grade, when we started doing PE in school with shorts on. I suddenly realized that the other girls had shaved legs, so I’d better shave mine too. Didn’t know how a razor worked so I tested it on my arm first. Yep.
As for the other stuff, I was embarrassingly late to figuring it out. I think I would have appreciated an Intro to Female Grooming from my mom … or would I? Did anyone’s mom sit them down and say “let’s talk about that eyebrow of yours”? How did it go? Did you ever face total embarrassment for not knowing that you’re supposed to shave your ____?
Post # 2
iarebridezilla: For the most part, my mom gave me a pretty comprehensive “Grooming 101” lesson! I believe it was right around 6th grade, with all the awkward puberty stuff. Interestingly enough, though, my mom told me I should only shave the BOTTOM part of my legs, since the hair on the thigh is a lot lighter. Unfortunately, I turned out to be kind of a hairy kid (GROSS, I know!!!) so I started getting made fun of for my hairy upper legs!!!
As for eyebrows, I was NOT into all of that. My mom used to practically tackle me and attack me with the tweezers while I whined pitifully. LOL!
Post # 3
CaliKhaleesi: are you glad she talked to you about it? My sister and I were kind of on the fence about some things — like eyebrows — where on the one hand, you want your kid to not get made fun of, but on the other hand, you don’t want to basically sit them down and say “you will be ugly unless you do XYZ painful beauty procedure every so often”. Know what I mean?
I think part of the problem too is that parents totally overestimate the age at which their child is going to want to start grooming. My mom probably planned on having “the talk” when I got to high school or something, but by then I’d been shaving for years already!
It wasn’t until COLLEGE that I started earnestly controlling the pubes. I didn’t watch porn, so how in the hell would I have known? I overheard some girls talking shit about their roommate and her pubic bush, and that’s how I figured out I was supposed to do something about that. It was not good.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I remember friends doing my eyebrows when I was at summer camp… middle school age? I don’t remember. My moms never really groomed her own so she wasn’t much help with that one. She never wears makeup or anything like that.
My mom told me about shaving my legs/underarms 1 summer before a boy came over to go swimming. lol. I think I was probably 11? 12?
Post # 5
iarebridezilla: Oh, I am SO glad she talked to me about it. I have always been a bit clueless when it comes to beauty rituals, so if she hadn’t sat me down, I probably would have learned about EVERYTHING from being bullied. Then, I would have tried to do everything myself, and that could have been disastrous without any instruction (for me at least…I’m the epitome of clumsy!)
I don’t remember taking any particualr negative message from her lesson. I think I felt less like “Oh, I have to do this or I’ll be ugly” and more like “Oh, I should probably do this so the mean girls at school don’t laugh at me.” Still not the most positive thing, but middle school girls CAN be quite brutal!
OHHHH I know how you feel!!! I got the low-down on the bikini area pretty early on, but one thing my mom didn’t bother with was my upper lip hair, which was a bit darker than normal. I was a sophomore in high school when I overheard one of my mom’s friends telling another one of the moms just to have her daughter bleach the upper lip hair or wax it, since it was causing her so much distress. I took a good look in the mirror and thought, well crap, there’s another thing to add to the list…haha!
Post # 6
My mom didn’t really teach me anything. She’s never had to shave her legs and I promise you, she has not a single hair on them. So jealous. I remember my mom saying I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs until I was 10, and I still never shave the thigh area of my legs because she said it wasn’t necessary and I guess I agree!
I didn’t get my eyebrows plucked until I was 13 by a friend at a sleepover.
I honestly don’t remember when I started shaving my arm pits. And down there…probably not until I was like 16? I can’t remember haha.
Post # 7
I never really got a talk – my mom got me an electric razor around 7th grade (so I was 12/13) as a gift, which was pretty much my cue to start shaving, though I know some girls started earlier. I started with that, then gradually moved on to disposable razors.
I actually have really narrow, arched eyebrows, so I’ve never plucked them – I’ve had people asking me for years if I get them waxed because they’re naturally well-shaped. I got them waxed for my wedding, but that’s it.
Pubic hair never came up, but I started trimming it in high school during bathing suit season, and once it got to the point where there was a serious chance someone else (DH) might see it, I kept it well maintained.
Post # 8
iarebridezilla: Mom gave me the A-OK to shave my legs when I was in 6th or 7th grade, can’t remember. The rest of that stuff I learned from my friends. I would just leave it up to your kid and her friends, it’s better to hear a friend talk about plucking her brows and think that maybe she’d like to do it too than having your mom tell you you need to groom more lol. It would have made me feel like she thinks I have to. I think most beauty stuff is best just picked up from your girlfriends.
Post # 9
Found everything out the hard way and my mom was mad at me when I started shaving my legs. Only help she was to me was in the eyebrow department because I went with her when she got hers done.
ETA: I wish someone told me about the dos don’ts of grooming. I shaved my stomach a couple of times and now it’s a mess. (I had really fine hair) I’m always self concious about people seeing my tummy!!
Post # 10
iarebridezilla: My mom was pretty useless in this department and made me incredbly self concious about it actually.
I remember getting hair when I was about 10 and that summer I had chicken pox and when I got out of my bath my mom came to put calomine on me to stop the itching and she noticed the hair and made some comment that made me embarrassed ‘oh you have hair down there!’ and it was awkward and uncomforable for me.
I then remember being in grade 5 and not understanding why my underarms were so hairy and no one elses were. I knew my mom shaved her legs but nothing else. My mom finally got me a razor sometime in grade 5 – don’t really remember the conversation about that.
As a result of my mom’s awkwardness I’ve always been rather self concious about body hair (I started shaving my brazilian when I was 18 before I knew it was actually something people did – I just hated it so much)
Post # 11
We learned about puberty in 5th grade but I didn’t start shaving or using deodorant until 6th grade I think. One of my best friends told me I needed to shave my armpits after a pool party haha so I told my mom and she taught me how to do it. Then the next year I think I started shaving my legs- I had blonde hair so it wasn’t that noticeable.
Post # 12
amberback: ugh, makeup. My mom NEVER taught me makeup, and as a result, I still don’t really know how to do it. All I ever wear is eyeliner (thankfully I have pretty good skin so I can get away with it), and if I have to get done up nice for something, I end up paying someone to do it for me. DAMMIT MOM. Now how am I supposed to teach my daughter if I don’t even know it myself??
Post # 13
My mom let me start shaving my legs in 6th grade- but I’m not a really hairy person so there is not a ton of grooming involved elsewhere. I have an 11 year old who will probably start shaving in the next year or so. She and I did discuss how you can groom as much or as little as you liked to- this after seeing a woman with a horrendous bush creeping out of her bathing suit at the pool. My daughter was like “that’s embarrassing”- and that’s when I said “it doesn’t have to be that way!” HaHa!
Post # 14
westgirl1208: oh god, yes, the stomach … I remember I started shaving my “happy trail” … but that didn’t seem like enough and it was weird to have this one strip be hairless, plus I have a pierced belly button. So now I shave this box around my belly button. My stomach hair is really fine so you can’t see the box unless you’re really close to it, but I still wonder if that’s a weird thing to do or if it looks fine. What a damn mess!
Post # 15
I was raised by my grandmother. I came home wanting to shave my legs in end of 5th grade, early 6th. I really didn’t need to the hair was so light, etc. and I should have just left it alone. She told me to not even worry about it for awhile. I was stubborn and did not listen. I shaved my whole legs for a while. But eventually stopped and only shave up to my knee now.
I am not sure when I started shaving my arm pits/under arms. Some time in late middle school maybe. But I would say I started that early than needed to, because I dont really remember there being much of anything there when I started shaving them.
As for my eyebrows, nothing was ever mentioned. My grandmother got hers done by the lady who did her hair. I have never touched mine really. They are blonde mostly. I pulled one random hair once about a month or so ago.
I am okay with the way it was approached for me.