Post # 1
Those of you who are waiting for your engagements or planning before it’s official — how are you holding up? Are you having a difficult time being patient?
Does your boyfriend know you’re anxious to get engaged and if so, is it causing any problems in the relationship?
Just wondering how you’re all doing!
Post # 3
had you asked this question a few weeks ago i’d say i was fine. now…well i’ve been dealing with the jealousies BIG time. haha.
i’ve had a few friends announce their engagements, set wedding dates or inch closer to their weddings in the past month so it’s been tough for me to not focus on myself [it’s a horrible habit, i will admit] but ultimately i am incredibly happy for them and wistful for the boy and i. we’re in an ldr and since he’s looking for work out here in cali [not the best of places at the moment] things have been put on the back burner for a while. usually i’m fine but i’m just so ready to start that part of our lives together that i’m getting anxious. it doesn’t help to know that, had we been the same state, we would probably have been married by now.
but i’m not worried, i’ll be over this hump in a week [these moods tend to be an ongoing cycle].
it’ll happen when it happens. i just hope i don’t catch wind of it before it happens…then i’ll drive myself nutty trying to figure out if/when it will happen
Post # 4
I’m patiently waiting. I haven’t been waiting that long (we haven’t been together a year yet,lol) but sometimes I get antsy. (Just had to say I’m 28 and he’s 31, so no one thinks we’re young and dense.LOL)
I do good not thinking about it UNTIL he says stuff like "When you see the ring, you are going to say, your man loves you!"(He already bought it.) That’s the most recent comment he made. THAT’S when my mind gets going. OR when he says "I know the DATE." meaning when he’ll propose. I hate the little hints because I start to think about i
BUT the relationship isn’t strained because he can’t wait to be engaged either, although when he says he can’t wait, I will say, well, it’s on you now.LOL.
Post # 5
Hey girl..just really busy this week in GA. Things are very good with us, but I’m doing ZERO formal planning (all the style bits together, 100 percent and it should actually be a breeze) and no $$$ money will be spent until that day arrives.
Just being the practical chickie I am. Holding up quite nicely! Thank you..much love to you and all here on this board!
Post # 6
Well I do have to add..it was a bit difficult (but I am SOOO HAPPY FOR HER..SHE IS AWESOME!) when a friend of mine got engaged this last weekend. She’s known him since JANUARY and they both have 3 kids between the two of them. My boss got me a teensy bit upset yesterday when he said to me "Hey Belle..Have you seen this? You need somebody to do something about THAT dontcha?" grrr.
I’m not a jealous type at all. Never and always 100 percent happy for my friends. Just how I am.. But it pisses me off to see other guys doing what they say they’re going to do. That’s all. And I think my boss was a bit well..harsh. And to think a guy said that to me about my friend getting engaged!!
Post # 7
Aw, thanks for asking. I had a rough spat earlier this week because I wanted to incorporate an engagement party at my parents lake place into our summer plans and it was messing up our schedule of vacations! We talked it out, and I (thanks to some sage advice from other bees!) decided not to worry aobut it. Something about carts before horses.
The next 12 weeks are incredibly busy with friends coming, weddings to go to, and vacations, so hopefully I’ll be able to not focus on it. I know it will happen by the end of the summer, but I do get really anxious about getting a venue for summer 2010 if we’re not engaged until September or something… really, really nervous about it. I’ve expressed this to boyfriend, and he either doesn’t realize how far in advance venues book out, or thinks we will be engaged earlier than I do.
So yeah. I’m hanging in there. Thanks for asking =)
Post # 8
Hey CHK –
Our original venue is closing one week before our wedding. With four months to go, we were able to book another venue for 300 guests in Manhattan for July 2009. We lost all of our vendors (except our photographer) but due to the poor economy have been able to book almost all of our major vendors (just the florist and makeup artist to go). So as long as you don’t need a Saturday in May or June, I think you might be fine. It all depends upon your level of flexibility.
Post # 9
aww thanks for asking!
I hit a little rough patch yesterday–I’m terrible at surprises, and yesterday I was teasing him about our 3 year anniversary which is in about 2 weeks (right after we go to a friend’s wedding, no less), asking what he’s getting me. At first he was joking about getting me a lump of coal, etc, but then he gave a really obvious hint so now I know what it is and know it isn’t an engagement ring…siiiigh…on one hand, I’m totally happy about us and where we are and how things are going, and I don’t think there’s any reason to rush–I’m 25, he’s almost 27, so we’re still really young. But on the other hand, obviously since I’m here it’s bothering me! I don’t understand what’s scaring him about taking the next step. I mean, I think I do–I think it has more to do with him not feeling happy in his job and unsatisfied with where he is in establishing a career, being financially stable, etc, and therefore not feeling grown up, but ugh…We talk about being together for the rest of our lives, are already part of each other’s families, have a little furbaby and live together, own a car together and he’s suggested buying a home together, etc. We talk about weddings and someday getting married, but he just clams up when anything resembling a timeline comes up, even though I’m always really explicit that I’m not pressuring him. I would be happy to help look for and pay for an engagement ring, and he knows that, but the ball is in his court and I think he’s not ready.
whew, that was a long vent…. long story short, i don’t think he’s ready yet, and i’m trying really hard not to keep thinking about it and hoping!
Post # 10
My FI and I have a date set and most of our family & friends know, but no ring yet! I know I’ll be getting an official proposal and I want it soon so I can shop for my wedding gown! I said that’s the one thing I WON’T do before the ring! But I’m trying not to ruin the surprise. I feel like a lot of the specialness is gone because we are already planning, so I want this to be special!
Post # 11
i am waiting as well! I’m pretty sure the engagement will happen within this year, but I still get worked up as to WHEN!!!! Its frustrating bc for a while, life was happening to my boy (issues at work, car troubles, family members in a bind needing money, etc) and he was also on the hunt for a better job with a promotion….Well, he FINALLY got offered a GREAT position with awesome pay and he is due to start in July…YAY!!! Finally! (any federal gov employees in the DC area KNOW how crazy the job application process is…3 hour long apps…can I get an AMEN!?!?!??! lol)
so…he has hinted that once he gets his new position, things will really start falling into place for us…so i am just trying to WAIT and BE PATIENT!!!! (he has even hinted that he has done MORE than just look at ring styles for me, so that makes me feel good too!) although i lose patience sometimes because, like a few of the other bees have mentioned, I REALLY want to get married sometime between next April and September (2010) (I heart outdoor Summer weddings!!!!!!) If he waits until our 2Y anniversary, thats october. 25th. which leaves me less than a year of planning, but i guess thats still flexible, as other bees have mentioned as well, due to the state of the economy. BUT for some reason we keep talking about the day and the DATE that we met, so if he is trying to work something around that, its july 27!
i also have this (totally unrational) fear that he is going to wait until new years eve to propose to me, and ill be dragging through the holidays all sad, depressed and pitiful, feeling all sorry for myself because the year is nearing its end, and i was for sure that we would be engaged by then!!!….the old maid…turning the ripe old age of 27 in january with a man that doesnt truly want to wed me. HAHAHA OK, yes bees Im a TOTAL drama queen (in my head!!!) but these thoughts of despair go through my head sometime!!!
Thanks for this post, its nice seeing our little support group of Ladies in Waiting!! hehehee
Post # 12
Well, good and bad. Everything is dependent on Mr.Rain’s job search and, as we all know, this enconomy is NOT helping at all. We were planning on a quick engagement and getting married in August or December. We had a talk the other day and he basically said that at this point it’s looking likeAugust is out. Unless something just literally falls into his lap we’re going to have to aim for December.
I don’t mind the extra planning time, but it does throw a few wrenches into things. We might end up having to do the LDR thing if he gets a job that starts before December, since we won’t be living together before we get married. I dunno.
I just want to be his wife, or at LEAST have the ring so I feel a little more justified in doing the actual planning.
Post # 13
Yeah, actually today is one of the bad days. I hate this! I hate that he won’t propose until he gets a job (note: he does have a job, but he won’t propose until he finds another one for post-graduation)! I hate that this screwy economy is making life so difficult! I hate people asking me if he has proposed yet and having to say every time, "No, he’s not going to do that until he gets a job lined up." and then havig to defend that to people who think it’s silly. I hate that some days I just want to cry because of the frsutation.
So. Thanks for letting me vent a little. I guess I will put a smile back on now and get back to the job (that I hate).
Post # 14
Today is 4.5 years for us and I think it’s coming tonight–I found the ring box! But it’s still driving me crazy that it’s been this long… just because all my friends in relationships got engaged six months ago (and guess who’s been together longer… and fights less?)
Sorry, I should be happy for them… I mean, I AM, but I’m just a bit jealous too!
And man, is it going to SUCK if it doesn’t happen tonight.
@missrain: I totally get that. Mine kept waiting until he "wasn’t busy with work." Well, work lasts forever! MAKE IT HAPPEN! It’s so frustrating, I know you know too. And I hate my job too 🙂
Post # 15
I’m doing ok, I have bad days, today just isn’t one of them. However, last Saturday is a different story. We were at a graduation party for one of his cousins and he saw a cousin who just got engaged (dating less time than us I think, but not positive) and we were in a small group chatting and he asked when her wedding date would be. When she said sooner rather than later, he said try to avoid next April. She did the squeal and hugged me and congradulated us, which was really nice. They are getting married probably this year. (ARGGGGGGG!!! Green eyed monster presenting itself) That actually didn’t bug me as much as his mom who was in our chatting group, said well it’s not really official yet, he has to do some shopping, blah blah blah. I just about snapped. FI took my hand and squeezed it, knowing probably what I was thinking. I just find it so annoying that people don’t find it official, when we have a date set and our venues booked, the only thing we’re lacking is a ring. Yeah Saturday was a tough day. I get through most days without thinking about it, he’s got the ring, he’s got a plan, I know it’s gonna happen, so I just have to sit patiently and wait.
Post # 16
@cinemaparadiso TONIGHT!? Hpw exciting! You must definitely let us know if it happens!