Post # 1
So I know a lot of us kinda ride off into the sunset after posting all the lovely photos of the wedding and honeymoon, but I would love to know how you guys are doing now a few years down the line! How has the time treated you, any new crazy things come up? Are you planning on having children, buying a house, traveling the world?
For us, we have moved three times since the wedding, but now we are in Germany and having a great time! Things have been occassionally really difficult with all the life changes, but so far we are coming through and stronger on the other end. We brought another dog into our house and she is a doll, but she has been difficult on us because my husband and I have very different views on raising a puppy. I am in the camp that my needs are subverted to the pets’ needs, and for the most part my wants come after the taking care of the pets’ wants. This doesn’t mean that I always put the pets first, but I think I owe it to them to take good care of them since they are solely dependent on my taking care of them. My husband comes from a pets as lawn ornaments background, and while he isn’t that bad, he still thinks that it is okay to put off taking care of the pets around his schedule of wants and needs.
This has caused significant friction because I can’t help but apply it to any future additions to the family. It has made me really certain that I don’t want to have children. I have never really liked children or wanted any, but sometimes I feel like I could consider them. However, raising our pets has highlighted our very different worldviews concerning pets, so what is to say that we can successfully raise children. For pets, they are generally easy to train the way you want them to stay for the next decade within a year, and then things are easier. But with children, there is no achieving a steady state, and I don’t want to feel like I’ve felt (frustrated and disappointed) for the last two months, but this time for 18 years. Especially because our marriage and life is amazing and enjoyable as it is with just us two!
Of course, that isn’t to look down on anyone else’s choices about pets/traveling/kids! So tell me, bees who have been married for a few years, how are things going with your marriage? Do you ever look back on your wedding and wish you had done stuff different (from the favors to the marriage)?
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
We’re also approaching our 3rd wedding avviversary and things are really, really good. We’ve purchased our forever home, added a dog and chickens to our list of critters, dealt with parenting a headstrong teenager and his crazy schedule of school + after school commitments, survived a big job change that has a certain someone practically married to his office, dealt with being on opposite sides of the TTC fence, and through it all we’ve only gotten stronger as a couple.
Being on opposite sides of the TTC fence was the hardest thing to get through. It took 18 months of hard discussions, tears, a lot of negative emotions on both parts, and more patience that I thought I was capable of. I do not wish to repeat that time in our marriage ever again. But we identified a lot of underlying issues and baggage from the past, addressed it head on, and kept talking through absolutely everything until we were both on the same page. We will be TTC in less than 3 months, and we’re both super excited about it.
We’re also in the very early stages of considering relocating to a different state. We’ve both lived our entire lives in Maryland, and wonder what it would be like to live somewhere else. We each have an office in Georgia and Colorado, so those are the 2 candidates on our list. We’ve gotten to the point where we are ready to book a trip to each place “just to see what it’s like”. I’m a bit giddy with the idea of moving somewhere far away. While I would miss our friends and family, I think it would be awesome to tackle a new adventure like this with Mr. Lk by my side. We’re such a good team.
As for the wedding, I only wish that I had hired a videorgapher. Teen LK gave the most amazing, heartfelt, tear-inducing speech, and I wish I had that captured on video. Otherwise, no regrets. our wedding was exactly what we wanted it to be, and was money well spent. We both look back on it with fondness. Oh… there is one other thing I would change. I would add a line in Mr. LK’s vows making him pledge to be the designated spider killer and fix-it person in the house. Because those are two very important things he needs to do around here. hahaha
Post # 3
We’ll be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary in December – life has been great since the wedding! We’ve of course dealt with some difficult stuff (working on finishing graduate degrees, moving and starting new jobs, making decisions about TTC), but I’ve been pleased that we’ve been able to tackle these situations as a team rather than letting them pit us against each other.
Soon after our wedding, we added two new members to our family – our precious kitties, Luna and Pippin! They are the cutest cats ever and have brought much joy to our lives. And this coming April, we’ll enter a new phase of our lives, welcoming our first child! We’re excited and terrified, but feel like we’re as ready as we can be (can you ever really be ready to become a parent?).
Looking back over the last 3 years, I don’t regret anything! Our wedding was wonderful – even though some things went wrong (for example, the ceiling of our chapel caved in a week before the wedding! We had to scramble to find a new location), I think it all ended up even better than we planned. It was a fantastic celebration, everyone had fun, and we didn’t go into debt to pay for it 🙂
I maybe wish we would have had more chances to travel in our newlywed years, but it is what it is. We very much want to travel (domestically and abroad) with our kids, so I’m not worried that parenthood will end our chances at travel. Heck, maybe we can plan for a 5-year anniversary trip, leave the baby with grandparents, and go back to Italy!
Post # 4
I can’t beleive it’s been almost 3 years! Our anniversary is in a few weeks….
Thinking about it, it’s been a busy 3 years for us too! We got a dog a few months after the wedding (my 30th bday present), she’s truly our baby and we love her to peices! We bought a house last year and recently did a major kitchen renovation. We’re always busy with something with the house, yardwork, painting, etc. We’ve gotten to do a bit of traveling, not as much as I’d like, but more than normal for sure. I’ve also changed jobs twice, but I’m finally settled in my current position!
We’ve been TTC for most of the year, and had a miscarriage in July. We’re moving forward though and I’m excited for me and DH to become parents!
I guess a lot more has happened in 3 years than I realized. We’ve definitely had some challenges and had to work through some issues, but so far, I’ve really enjoyed married life and building a future with DH!