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My hubby and I had the "how many kids" discussion when we got engaged. We agreed on two. I thought I wasn't much of a kids person, but I knew I wanted some, and I knew I wanted my kids to have siblings. So two seemed like an easy answer for me.
Jump forward a few years, and we now have our first baby. Ask me how many kids I want now.... and my number has def increased! I love my baby girl and I just want more and more! Of course my hubby thinks I'm a crazy person, and the only way he's keeping me from starting another 19 kids and counting is talking finances. If we had more than 2 I'd have to go back to work, and that would defeat the purpose of having lots of kids for me b/c I want to be able to spend all my time with them, not at work.
But still, I think it's weird that we're supposed to come up with this number without having a clue what it's like to have a child or be a parent! Anybody else change their mind after starting their family?
We haven't had our kiddo yet, but we have definitely decided to reserve the sibling talk until after she's here. We always had agreed on 2 as well. Right now, DH seems to be in the only child camp and I'm in the "I want her to have siblings!" camp.
We'll see how that changes in a few months. lol
I really want to see how people respond. My mom always said she wanted 10 kids after having me and after she had my brother she was done having kids. He was craaaazy hyper.
This is still an ongoing challenge for us. We have two (One is from a previous relationship, but DH is her only father figure) and I really want 1-2 more. DH really thinks the two we have now is great. He says we can compromise and have 1 more, but that is definately it for him.
I have a bonus son from DH's first marriage. I'm now pregnant and this will be it for us. We've had tons of discussions about it and we think this is the best choice for our children. I don't ever want my bonus son to be the odd man out and if they have only each other for siblings it should keep them united. (DH's ex is not having anymore children)
We've talked about this off and on before but never in a conclusive manner.
I think he would be happy with 2 or 3. He grew up with 2 brothers. I did as well. In my case I had 2 older brothers who were much older than me and me being the little sister. There was def a generation gap and although I love them like crazy we just did not have that growing experience.
So I always felt that ideally I would want 2 boys and 2 girls. In a perfect world.
We'll see how we feel after one but def a minimum of 2. We both think it's important for our child to have a sibling.
Right now I'm pregnant with my 1st and I want 3 kids. I've always wanted 3, so we'll see if that changes after the first one arrives.
We haven't had kids yet but right now our agreed upon plan is to have two. If we get a boy and a girl.. we are definitely done. If we get two of the same, we may try again but only if finances comfortably allow for it.
We have always had a two minimum rule. We will for sure have two (even if that means adoption) and after that discuss having more. Any beyond two will probably really depend on finances.
We didn't want any kids - but we did get a beautiful surprise which is our son and he is completely awesome. He is now 3 and I really want just one more. So we are now in the talks for having one more, getting pregnant in July and having number two for 2013.
So....we went from wanting none to having one surprise, and now I want just one more lol.
Well we decided on two before having kids, because I'm an only child and while I loved it as a kid, today I find it difficult to not have a clue about sibling relationships and knowing that when my parents die, I won't have any close family except my husband's. So I don't want my child to experience that (my parents would have had more, but health issues prevented that).
So two is our minimum - and I'm always kinda joking that I'll see how this one goes before deciding on a second one; but for the family's sake I will not leave my first one without siblings.
I really don't think we'll go for more, but who's to say that we won't like having kids so much that we won't go for more? I don't know. I kinda doubt it because I don't like being pregnant that much and would like to just have the kids without the pregnancy/delivery so I don't foresee myself choosing to do it after I have the two... But if my husband was up to it, I would definitely consider adopting one or two more if we had enough money to do it.
We really wanted two before kids, and after we had our daughter, we both decided we want three. Humorously, we both are convinced we'll end up having a "surprise" baby when we think we're done and end up with four. (I think that's just because we're both one of four kids in our families). Of course, then I started talking vasectomy with him when we're done with three, and he's still on the "hell no!" train with that.
I only ever wanted one, that hasn't really changed. We have a beautiful little girl, our family doesn't feel incomplete.
We don't have any kids yet, but our plan is to shoot for 3. I grew up with one sister and to be blunt, it was torturous (mostly because my mom likes her some favoritism) because in my experience one of you is always the bad child. Also, having grown up in a day home I found the only children to usually be very difficult to handle in social situations.
FI however is one of his father's six children, the youngest child from his dad's first marriage (from which he had three sons, his second marriage reaped three girls) so he's always pushing the "We should have more kids than that!" bandwagon.
Six kids...who is he kidding?!
I wanted three, he wanted one we have settled on two for now. We'll see how we feel after number one arrives. I just might have had enough. Pregnancy is so exhausting anyway, I'm not sure I want to do it three times.
I havent had my first yet but it's really important to me to have more than one. DH isnt an only child but his little sister (same mom) is 14 so he was an only child for 17 years. He doesnt understand the connection I have with my sister and how important it is to me that we stay close. He agrees that 2 is the number, but if we have 2 of the same sex and we are financially able to have 3 close in age we might.
My number went down; I'd always said "two or three" and then after a M/C and difficult PG with my son, I was DONE being pregnant. Done. When my son's father and I divorced, it just further cemented the issue. My son is my dream child (carbon copy of my personality) and I can't imagine having any more. SO is fixed, so the only kids we'll be having together will be on the goat farm I want to start.
I always wanted 4, DH wanted 3, so we've settled on- let's get to 3 and then decide. Now that we have DS I know I want more for sure! But from friends I hear that the second is a lot tougher and will make you reconsider your numbers.
Aww that's really sweet.
We always wanted 3 and who knows maybe a 4 so that hasn't changed but I was a bit worried we'd be like no way once the baby came, but she's so great it's hard not to want more.
@artbee: Yes, having a baby is special but I consider other factors that can help me determine how many I can handle. Personally, I like working and I like having an aggressive career, I would like to be a hands on mom and an attentive wife. This limits the amount of bouncing babies I can have and enjoy the lifestyle thats important to me. I have a 2 baby maximum limit. For me its about balance and I know myself very well, I don't want to put more on my plate than I can enjoy/handle. I am saying this and I don't have kids. I may end up like the lady who lived in the shoe and have so many babies I don't know what to do;0)
No kids yet but we've had the discussion several times. FI wants tons of kids. Like a crazy big family. I want much less than that. We'll see how I feel after I pop the first one out...
My husband and I had always agreed on three kids, but after Addie was born, I felt just like you! I knew I wanted more, and soon. Baby rabies hit me again really hard when Addie was only 7 months old. :)
#2 is due in April, and we'll see how it goes after that. We already have plans for a third, but I think I might want 4. If we do have a fourth, there will be a much bigger gap between #3 and #4, whereas we'd prefer all our other kids to be only two years apart. I'm not sure my husband is completely against 4 either; the other day he told me he thinks our family would be complete if we had three older girls and a baby boy, lol. I told him I'd get right on planning that.
My FI and I agreed to have 2 children. We want a boy and a girl. And I know you cant choose gender, I decided that the most I will have is 3 children. If I have all 3 girls or all 3 boys, then that is what I am meant to have. I'm not gonna have 6 children just to have one gender.
He has already been warned what I want though, so his little soldiers better do their job!
My FI and I agreed to have 2 children. We want a boy and a girl. And I know you cant choose gender, I decided that the most I will have is 3 children. If I have all 3 girls or all 3 boys, then that is what I am meant to have. I'm not gonna have 6 children just to have one gender.
He has already been warned what I want though, so his little soldiers better do their job!
DH and I want at least 2. We've talked about having more, but I think our limit is 4. We'll see how old we are when we actually have kids and how we feel abut it then though.
Originally Mr. Hedgie only wanted 2 because that is how his entire family has always been. On the flipside, mine has always had 3 kids. My parents ended up with 4 in a way because the cared for her MR brother and I loved having 3 different people. I really really really want 4. I will settle for 3 but we will see once we actually start popping some out!
@Mrs. Spring: you're expecting again? congrats!
As for the OP, I'm far, far from babies so I can't help there :)
I'm a child of three, from two parents from three.
He's one of two (would have been three but his mom had a miscarriage and difficult pregnancies with both him and his sister), but both of his parents were from groups of three as well.
So for us, it was simple to decide we also wanted to aim for three.
I'm currently just over halfway done cooking our first, so we'll see what happens next!
I am pregnant with our first right now. When I was about 8 weeks along, DH asked me when we were gonna get to work on number 2. I was like, we haven't even had number one! haha.
I always liked the idea of 2 or 3, and DH just says he will be happy with however many we are blessed with. He is the youngest of 4, so he is def okay with at least one sibling.
My Fi and I have agreed on 3... but that is up in the air. We both agreed that we like the number 3 but we are going to keep our minds open to 4 or even just 2. It really depends on how it goes, we will see when we get there!
We are pre-kids now, and currently in the 2 kids camp. I want them to have siblings, but I also understand why some people chose to have 1. I know we would both love a huge family! So we shall see.
DH & I weren't super set on a number.... I just made clear that I do NOT want a "clan" lol. I have DS from a previous marriage & am expecting currently. We'll have 1 to 2 more from here & then that's it! :)
I actually used to always say that I never wanted kids... but after having my daughter I realized that I would like to have one or two more :)
I was in the never ever wanted any camp before #1 came along, and while our family doesn't feel incomplete another wouldn't be a terrbile thing. My husband always wanted two or so.
I always said I wanted more than one...just because I came from a larger family and I thought it would be lonely without sibilings. HOWEVER, now that we've had one I could be happy with just him if it didn't work out for us to have another. I know I definitely want to enjoy the time with him before trying again.
As an only child I've always wanted lots of kids. I figure maybe 4ish would be a good number. FI is pretty content with 2. Maybe 3 depending on his mood when we discuss it, lol. I think it will largely depend on the kids you already have, actually- if you have angel children you'd probably want more, and if you have crazy hyper children you might decide to stop early. That's what I've seen happen to other people IRL anyway.
DH wants 2-3 and I want 3-4. I venture to bet we'll end up with 3 but we'll see how it all shakes out after we start having them!
I originally wanted 2, a boy and a girl. Original I know, lol. Our daughter is 2.5 and baby fever has not hit me at all. I hated being pregnant, I got super sick. As my daughter gets older I find each stage way more fun than the last. I don't really have any desire to revisit breastfeeding, pumping, hauling around a huge diaper bag etc. DH wants a boy so I'm sure we will try for another at some point. Both of us seem content with just one child for right now though. I have so much fun with my super girly girl I'm not sure what I'd do with a boy. To be honest, I'd be perfectly happy with another girl and there's no way I'd be trying for a boy after that.
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