Post # 1
Being engaged has me becoming more reflective and asking myself these questions. I suppose I should have done this before being engaged, but I’ve been with Fiance for 6 years and I love him dearly. However, we are different in a few ways. Namely – I am very social, love going out and seeing friends and I can’t stay home for more than a day or two. I just get a little stir crazy.
Whereas Fiance is a homebody – he’s perfectly happy staying in all weekend watching movies and shutting out the world.
I’m trying to find a happy medium but it does concern me a bit! Anybody else have a similar issue? In what ways are you and your partner different? Personalities, values, hobbies, etc? Does it affect your relationship? How do you make sure it doesn’t?
Post # 3
My Fiance and I are completely different, but also exactly the same if that makes sense. I suppose we are the same where it counts – we both love each other (big plus), we both want to get married (another plus), we are both family focused, both want to have kids and are both very honest and open. Our cores are the same.
We are very different in the little things. I can completely justify spending R1000 ($125 or so) on an impulse buy. He doesn’t spend a cent of his own money and puts it all in savings. We were brought up completely differently. He is very career driven and I place value on other things.
But for some reason, we complement each other. Not compliment, although that’s important too. In my opinion, partners need to be at least a bit different because that’s how we move forward. Why would we need a second half if that person was exactly the same as us ? Rather just stay alone, surely ? Also, with being different, you push and are pushed to be a better person.
My mom and dad sound just like you and your Fiance. That is the main way that they are different. They have the same core values, though. And they have been together for 25 years now.
Post # 4
There are alot of things that make us so different.
He is so calm, nothing ever seems to phase him, whereas I go off the deep end and freak out when things don’t go the way I hoped.
I’m also a home body. I love watching movies and just chilling at home, he loves to go out and is very active. He likes to hit up the club, bowling, movies, shopping…. you name it he loves being out of the house.
Everything balances out well though, and due to our differences the realtionship stays interesting lol.
Post # 5
@MrsCreeToBe: If it’s worked for you for 6 years then I wouldn’t worry too much 🙂
My bf is a morning person wheras I am not. This is probably our biggest point of contention. We have a compromise going where he goes into work a little later than he normally would, and I go to work a little earlier than I normally would (we share a vehicle). I have a heck of a time waking up and often I am running a bit late… and it frustrates him. I get frustrated because I hate mornings. We generally make it work alright, but there are definitely some not too pleasant mornings. On the weekends I sleep in and he usually sleeps in a little, but then quietly does chores or watches TV until I wake up.
I like the fact we’re both homebodies… in my last relationship my ex wanted to party all the time and that was not good. I think for differences you just need to come up w. a happy medium. It’s probably a good thing that you like to go out – you can leave him happily at home and then you have some time to miss each other. Every couple needs some time apart. As long as he isn’t feeling left out all the time or he refuses to go out with you all the time, I think you both can be happy.
Post # 6
We’re very similar in most respects, which is kind of nice. BUT:
– Fiance is very calm and keeps his anger held in, and lets things go very easily. I am quick to anger and will hold on to things that I feel shouldn’t just be brushed off. We’re actually dealing with this right now with a situation involving Future Brother-In-Law, and it’s a little frustrating.
– I am a sleeper! I usually sleep about 9-10 hours if left to my own devices, but Fiance does not sleep very well normally. If we both wake up naturally on a weekend or something, he’ll go back to sleep (he normally wakes up fairly early) and wake up with me hours later.
– Fiance is a crazy saver. He never buys anything and can save up very easily. I typically buy something here and there, or place a large-ish online order from somewhere a couple of times a year.
Post # 8
SO is very much a home body. I get restless easily if there is not something to do.
SO is calmer than I. I get upset easily, and worry too much. He is the exact opposite.
I would say, I’m better with money.
I am more outspoken while SO has to be prodded at to get him to speak up.
SO is a truck guy. I’m a little car person.
Honestly…we don’t have that much uncommon. We are a pretty good pair. And even our differences, they make us stronger.
Post # 9
My SO is very structured and has to plan everything out constantly. He likes to stick to a routine.
I, on the other hand, am a more go-with-the-flow, spontaneous person. I like to play things by ear.
Both have their positives and negatives.
Post # 10
We are complete opposites but also very similar in most ways (I know it doesn’t make sense but we are! haha). Where we are different, it is nothing that ever concerns me since we complement each other well. He is super laid back, I’m the anxious, worrying, type A. He calms me! It definitely can be frustrating at times living with him (he’s laid back and it annoys me because it means he doesn’t care about the house being a mess or keeping it clean; i’m type A so want everything perfectly neat all the time). However, I really try and see the good in our differences and embrace it, and appreciate the effect he has on me (I can’t keep the house clean every day with him in it but have learned to accept and embrace it – it’s OK to have a mess around and to not HAVE to clean every day – it’s a lot of time wasted!)