Weddingbee boards

We're doing Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

@Beelieve: I agree with what you said, but that doesn't alter the fact that I'm not taking his first name. I'm not becoming Mrs. John Smith, I'm becoming Mrs. Jane Smith.

We were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith. And I'm also a grammar nerd.

Shellee & Nick Last Name

I hope no one ever calls Mrs Nick last name I HATE that!

@Mrs.KMM:The rules you are citing have been obsolete for nearly a century. They were offensive then, and are offensive now. My name is Mrs. Jane Smith. If what you stated were currently accepted etiquette/grammar, then it would be impossible for a woman to be addressed with an honorific while using her first name while she is married. How insulting.

One of many available sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mrs.

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Note the use of past tense in the following:

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Traditional usage

“Mrs.” was most often used by women when married, in conjunction with her husband’s first and last names, e.g. “Mrs. John Smith”. A widow was and still is addressed with the same title as when she was married. "Mrs." was rarely used before a woman's first name, maiden name, or before a hyphenated surname her husband was not using. For example, “Mrs. Jane Miller” (wife of John Smith), "Mrs. Jane Smith" or “Mrs. Jane Miller-Smith” were considered incorrect by many etiquette writers, especially of the early 20th century.

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Note the use of present tense in the following (emphasis mine):

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Modern usage

It is now uncommon for women to be addressed using their husband's first name, except when the couple is being addressed jointly, such as in “Mr. and Mrs. Rhett Butler”.

Many married women still use the title with their husband's last name, but retaining their first name, "Mrs. Jane Smith," while many have eschewed the title completely in professional life, utilizing "Ms." Any choice of title, first, and last name is considered acceptable both socially and professionally today, and should be honored once it is made known.

Modern etiquette has no absolute rules as how to address married couples in which the wife uses her own last name, or uses a title such as “Dr.” or "Mayor". Etiquette writer Judith Martin (“Miss Manners”) generally advises that in non-standard situations, the individuals be addressed in separate lines on invitations (Dr. Sue Martin / Mr. John Martin).

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[ETA] We've received several pieces of mail since we got married that were addressed, not surprisingly, to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith." I always turn to my husband and remark, "Baby, did you know that my name is John now? Just thought I'd let you know."

@Mrs.KMM: I can understand being unwilling to accept Wikipedia as a source of authority in proving that this etiquette rule has been updated. Emily Post, however, joins Wikipedia in disagreeing with you.

http://www.emilypost.com/forms-of-address/titles/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence

Emily Post, emphasis mine:

Addressing a Woman

Maiden name

Ms. Jane Johnson

Miss Jane Johnson*

*usually 'Miss' is for girls under 18

Married, keeping maiden name

Ms. Jane Johnson

Married, uses husband's name socially

Mrs. John Kelly

Mrs. Jane Kelly*

*Nowadays this is acceptable

Ms. Jane Kelly

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Much like the U.S. Constitution is a living document, subject to revised interpretation through the centuries as judges reflect upon changes in social understanding of morality, etiquette evolves. The rules you cite were correct many decades ago, but current etiquette recognizes the importance of a woman's right to identify herself using an honorific and her first name if she so chooses. I agree that simply because everyone is doing something doesn't make it correct, but every so often, the rules themselves change in order to better reflect a massive turn of the tide of society. 

[ETA] @lilybay:Apologies for hijacking your thread! I think that you should be introduced in whatever way sounds best to you and your FI. Unfortunately, as you can see, this is a bit of a controversial topic, so this is one case in which the boards can't give you a straight answer one way or the other.

Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith is how we were introduced!