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I'm not Muslim, but several of my friends are. At my best friend's wedding they were trying to incorporate 6 different cultural traditions in one wedding, so it was quite a fusion fest. I believe they were even taped for a tv documentary on multiculturalism although I'm not sure if their footage was ever used. My best friend had her nikah at the same site as their reception. They signed the nikah, had some readings from the Qur'an, and then an imam spoke. I believe right after that it was time to pray, so they had another room for that (my friend is a convert, so a large percentage of guests were not Muslim and stayed in the main room). After that there was a non-alcoholic cocktail hour which led into the reception. My friend had a mehndi party the night before, and I believe there was some sort of Yemeni women's party a few days before, but I wasn't there so I'm not sure about what happened there. My friend's father is Canadian and her mum is German, so she really wanted to wear a white wedding dress, but she also wears hijab. Therefore, she wore a white hijab with a modified veil, and had a jacket made to cover exposed skin. She had bridesmaids, and they all wore red lehengas or saris.
And I have lots of friends who are South Asian/married to South Asians, and they are all dead set against a wali!
Oh man I'm pretty much against having a wali as well. I'm 26 years old. I can make my own decision as to who I want to marry. I'm not sure how my future-in-laws will feel about that. I'm also thinking about having the nikah and then a mocktail hour and then the reception. I'm hoping to find a reception venue that has a ceremony room or can at least set up for a ceremony and the immediately set up for the reception.
I chose my venue based on the fact that there were several rooms - some joined, some separate that we can use (5!). Since we are getting married in August it was important that we have an indoor area available in case it's super hot or rainy. The venue has also told us we can use the smaller rooms they usually use during the week for business meetings for nursing mothers and as a prayer room since there will be several Muslims in attendance. So I'm sure if I found something in my small hometown, you'll be able to find something :)
I live in the Middle East and have seen all sorts of arrangements, but my brother just got married this month and I'll probably follow his route. We had the Ketib Ikitab (nikah) at our house with immediate family (both male and female) present, and held it the weekend before the wedding, then went out to lunch afterwards. It was in our living room, the women dressed modestly (meaning covered knees, shoulders and no cleavage, but we didn't wear headscarves), and we just stood around and watched them sign all the documents. We just aren't the type to go all out separating the men and women. For the "dowry", my brother gave a small gold coin as a token to her father.
So yes, they were technically "married" a week before, but it was one less thing to think about during the mad wedding rush. Also, with the mass amounts of family that flew in for the wedding, it was easier just having the small ceremony without much fanfare.
meelabeela,
You can actually sit & watch as ur solemnization is being carried out. So u can see ur FH recite his prayers, solemnization agreement and pledge. Many brides in my hometown do the same. They either sit at the same table or on the carpeted ground,with a lot of witnesses around. And it's easier for the Imam to get u to sign the papers to consent ur marriage.
Otherwise,u can sit in the room with ur bridesmaids and other attendees and get a videographer or a friend to record the ceremony via a handycam wired to ur laptop or a phone that allows videocall.
Hp that helps!
xoxo,lala
I think we're leaning towards being in the same room. I've seen wedding where the bride is in another room and I'm not really too comfortable with that. I want to be there when we're actually married.
Cool a muslim board! This is a long post - sorry!
If you aren't a very religious/traditional couple then you shouldn't really worry about adhering to rules that don't make sense to you. I went to a Muslim wedding for a friend who did things a bit differently. She had a ceremony at the same site as the reception. She walked down the aisle and the imam gave a short explanation to the attendees about the process of the nikah. They signed the papers, were announced as husband and wife and shared a small peck to seal the deal. They were finally married and all the prudes in the house just looked a bit embarrassed but got over it right away.
They had a cocktail hour after which the guests were led into the reception room where the bride and groom sat on a pretty stage. They also provided a cash bar for the guests. They did not drink and neither did their family but it was very nice of them to provide the option to their guests. I guess if they hadn't we could have just walked down to the lobby bar in the hotel but I noticed that the cash bar only served drinks poured in glasses, only allowed people one glass at a time, and cut one person off when he began to seem too inebriated. So I think she was actually genius for having a cash bar because it gave her some control!
Just be true to you and your FI when you are planning your wedding. This doesn't mean you should do something that would make your family upset at your wedding. But there is always a happy medium. I just wanted to illustrate a muslim wedding that was different from the norm, but a wonderful experience for us guests!
Good luck!!! :)
I am a moslem, and FI is methodist, our family is open on what we want for the wedding, we are planning to have nikah in our home country, but since i'm a permanent resident, and planing to be US citizen, we just think its not cost effective to get the marriage license here and back home.
So we decided to do the moslem wedding a week before we have the actual white wedding with minister and stuff, we are contacting this imam hopefully he will agree to marry us even though FI is not converting to moslem.
To make things easier we are going to get our marriage license in the court house a month before, so basically our religious marriage is just for the satisfaction of both of our family member
My fiance and I are both Muslim and we are getting married in a mosque. Since a lot of our friends and some family are not Muslim, it won't be an ordinary event for them. With our invitations, we sent out a notice describing proper etiquette inside the mosque. Part of my wedding favor for guests is going to be a scarf for the ladies to use (and later keep) to cover their heads. I got really pretty sari material ones. I am wearing an American style white wedding dress, and am going to get a scarf that covers my bare shoulders while inside the mosque. I will later remove this for the reception. I think I may put a string of pearls with a jewel in the middle on top of the scarf and around my forehead. I will be up with the sisters in the balcony area, which has a glass half wall so that you can see down. I dont mind this set up at all because I am quite shy and would rather not sit with my fiance in front of everyone and exchange vows. I am going to have my two five year old nieces unroll a runner for me to walk out on in the sisters area. Then, my 3 year old nephew will walk up the stairs that connect the brother's area to the sister's area to put down a pillow for me to sit on. He will then walk down the stairs and put down a pillow for my fiance. Next, my wali (father) will get my permission. He will walk from the brothers area up the stairs (which can be seen from both sweating areas) to where I am to get it. Since he's not going to walk me down the aisle, I find this very similar to christian tradition so it doesnt bother me. I dont have any bridesmaids or groomsmen, we will just have people at the mosque entrance directing people. Our reception will be at another location, where I have hired a henna lady to do henna for all the female guests, and there will be an Indian bangle bar for my female guests to choose at least 5 bangles each. (everyone agrees that the guys dont need any little doodads, but just in case, we are having a candy bar and we are also having it at a brazilian steakhouse, and what guy doesnt love steak?) The only thing is that there is no filming of any kind (photos, videos) inside the mosque. The mosque is just so beautiful that we made a sacrifice. We plan to do all our pictures at the reception and outside the mosque. We will only be in there for 20 mins anyway.
I am a Muslim convert (converted several years after our marriage). We had a small reception and an even smaller wedding, at that time there were very few Muslims in our community, neithr of us had family in town and we were both very young.
Our daughter is now getting married to a very nice Muslim boy in October. They were engaged last September, engagement party in November and Kittab (Islamic ceremony on Dec. 25 2009). The kittab was fairly small, we had our imam come to our home and he performed the kitab in our formal living room, with a handful of our closest Muslim friends, and a few of my husband extended family members who were visting from out of state. After the ceremony (which was extremely short) we served cake and coffee and the ladies did a little dancing.
The Wedding party will be in October and we are having an "Arabian Nights" kind of theme. The groom is an American Muslim. My daughter loves her Arab culture and had always dreamed of having her wedding in Syria but this was not to be as my husbands job situation would not allow for him to be overseas this summer for long enough to have a wedding.
We will be decorating with a base color of gold and all accents in jewel tones. Centerpieces will be Moroccan lanterns, crystals and small jewel tone votives on top of jewel tone satin overlays. We will be using jewel colored uplights on the wall and there will be a large dance floor. Bride and groom will be on a small state with a back drop decorated in jewel tone silks.
Of course there will be no alcohol served but we are having a nice buffet of mostly middle eastern items and a few american dishes. We are hoping to have a "zeffe/arada" procession leading the bride down the hotel hallway as she greets her groom and enters the ballroom. Some of this will probably be culture shock for the grooms family, but he loves it. My family has been pre-briefed on the festivities so know what to expect. We are hoping they will also be able to have a smaller reception in Syria summer of 2011 so that extended family who cannot make it can be included.
We have photographers who are experts in Muslim weddings, we have seen it all and by being invovled as photograpghers we can give you an insight into how the day should evolve. to get in touch with any of us visit us at Asian Wedding Photographers website and go to contact us and on the header refer to this website so we can talk you through our experiences.
well mine is gone be the religious onw with sheikh in the house. then nikah .and then the wedding at a hall.))
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Not sure if this board is really active but is anyone having their actual marriage (nikah) done at the same site as their reception? I would like to do this but I'm not sure how to transition between the actual wedding part and the reception. I'm also curious about any other wedding traditions any of you follow. My fiance is South Asian and they have a the tradition of keeping the bride in another room until the marriage has been accepted. I'm not too excited about that (I don't want to miss out on my whole wedding). Are any of you planning on being seperated until marraige is accepted or do you plan on saying the "vows" in front of each other?