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If it concerns you, you should talk to your FI again. I'm sure he wants you to feel comfortable with how you two handle your money. You don't always have to be rational! Maybe if he promises to continue to discuss big purchases with you in advance, you'll feel better.
We're going to have our paychecks deposited into a joint account and then transfer a certain amount into separate accounts, which will be our own personal spending money. We'll each get the same amount of spending money, rather than a percentage of what we earn. If we want to save up and make expensive purchases with our spending money, that's fine, no need to discuss it first. I think that by having the budget discussion together in advance, you're clearly establishing that all money belongs to both of you. You're making a joint decision that each of you will have a certain amount of autonomy in your spending.
I like that! It seems very fair.
I read in a magazine that a couple had their own spending money and if they wanted to make a purchase over $50 then they had a agreement that they woudl discuss it together before buying. I like that idea alot too.
My law prof (he was great) for a Conflict and Resolution class told us that he and his wife have three accounts. Two separate checking accounts and a joint account that holds money for household expenses. If they want to buy something for themselves, it comes out of their personal and any household expenses they discuss. I think that sounds like a good idea because both of them work and have their money and household money set apart. For a couple where one stays at home and the other one works, I would think that a joint account and a separate savings would be good.
We are opening a joint account but also keeping our own seperate accounts. This will allow us to have some independence as far as how to spend our own money but create a collective place for the bill money to go.
Having your own account could also be used as an emergency fund if you don't spend much..and you had to use the money from the separate account. It's always good to have a back up plan
I think we're going to do the same thing... I think it's a good idea, because my FI likes to go out to eat for lunch and buy random albums on itunes, but I'm much more of a saver. This way, he can go out to eat and buy his music without having to ask me or feeling guilty for spending "our" money.
I like this idea too. We haven't decided exactly yet but I like the idea of having somewhat separate accounts... precisely BECAUSE my FI has expensive interests. I feel like if we had one big pot the money was coming out of he would feel like he had more to spend... if he has a set amount of "play money" then it will help him budget. I definitely want us to have 1 joint checking, and two personal checking accounts... what I am undecided about is having 1 or 2 savings accounts. I'm leaning towards 1 but we'll see what the Mr. wants :)
We have completely joint finances except for credit cards. I like the fact that we discuss larger purchases with each other but I understand how other couples might want to have their own little stash that they don't have to be accountable for.
We have a mix of joint and separate accounts, and it works well for us. If your fi has an expensive hobby then it makes even more sense for you to both have your own "play money", and that way you don't need to worry about what he's spending :) We always figured, my fi didn't want to be buying my shoes and I didn't want to be buying his playstation games or computer parts!
The current plan is not to open any additional accounts. We are just going to add the other person to the accounts we have now. I have certain things drafted out of my accounts that would be a pain to have moved so I am keeping my account open. We already discuss major purchases now...especially things that need to be financed...b/c we know that in the long run, it will affect both of us.
We're planning something similar to what your FI suggested. Our pay will go into a joint account, with a set amount auto transferred into our individual accounts for whatever we want to spend it on. The amount going into our indiv. accounts will be equal for both of us and based on how much discretionary income we actually have. If we want to spend on something without needing to discuss/get approval, we are each free to do that with the amount we have in our indiv accounts. If we want to buy something together, or buy something for ourselves but the other is ok with it, it can be bought out of the shared account. I think this setup lets us maintain some independence... I am used to my independence and wouldn't like having to hear what he thought/get the OK every time I wanted to get a pedicure or buy a purse or whatever.
The way we're thinking of doing it is putting a percentage of our paychecks into a joint checking, another set percentage of our paychecks into a joint savings and then the remainder is to each their own, whatever they choose. The joint checking would be used for bills and other expenses like groceries and then lunches out or whatever would come from our remainders. Sounds good in theory... It'll be awhile before it's actually implemented.
We actually have 3 joint accounts (and have had them for the past 5 years). One for bills, one for savings and emergency and one for random spending. It really works well for us because he used to have huge spending habits and me not so much and I always felt like if something went wrong (emergency) then it would come out of my savings/emergency. So we've compromised in our spending and come to respect the other person's spending habits. He can't depend on my savings habits, and he's cut his spending down a bit (anything over $100 we have to discuss with the other person) and I have come to accept that he likes to spend more than I do. Bottom line, discuss it with him and do what makes YOU BOTH comfortable and happy.
We both have our separate checking and savings accounts, and also, one joint checking account for bills and "together" money (i.e. vacations, dinner dates, etc).
Personally, I prefer having my own account. I think we all have little material splurges we like to relish in once in a while, but we don't really want anyone to know what we spent :) For me, it's shoes and clothes. I work hard, and as long as I pay my bills on time, and put an appropriate amount away for savings, I feel I should be able to do what I want with what's leftover, without my husband counting every penny. Same goes for him and his Wii addiction.
This is what works for us, though. I feel that we know each other enough to allow some privacy with money, while also being a team when it comes to the big things. For the most part, he knows what I spend anyway (I may fudge the actual price once in a while, though, hehe), so there are no huge secrets. But at the same time, I don't feel like I need to justify every sweater I buy, either. It's a form of trust we're completely comfortable with.
like so many bees, we have one joint checking/savings account and individual checking/savings accounts.
we aren't married yet, but we did buy a house together, and since we have shared bills, we jumped on the bandwagon a bit early.
We are planning on doing individual accounts with a joint account for household expenses. But I think our plan is to have our paycheques deposited into our own individual accounts, and transfer the money to the joint account, rather than the other way around. We are planning on doing a percent system in terms of how much to contribute to the joint account because he makes nearly double what I do. We both agree this an equitable solution and are happy with it!
I agree with the poster's who have mentioned having some of your own "fun money" - for FI, he can buy electronics and games and for me, clothes. I don't want to have to run that by him if we were to completely share all of our money.
We have the same thing as Jyening, three joint accounts. One is fixed expenses, one is variable expenses (so food, gas, entertainment money) and one is savings/emergency. This works really well for us! Though, I think if you are concerned about spending money on non-essential items, or spending without discussion, the "play money" accounts is a great alternative. It is hard for a spender (like my fiance) to get used to staying within certain bounds, and for a saver (more me) to watch money be spent on things they think it shouldn't be! But I am proof that it CAN be done! :-)
We've been sharing all of our money for a good majority of the time we've been together. We currently have separate accounts with plans to merge them into one checking and one savings after we are married - we'd do it sooner, but figured we'd just wait until I change my name to avoid one more name change hassle, but its all considered "our" money.
I have no problem with him splurging on things he wants like car parts or video games and he's fine with me spending money on clothes or anything else I decide that I absolutely have to have. We are both committed to building our savings and making smart money decisions, so we don't typically consult each other unless the purchase is over $500 or so.
we do exactly what your fiance wants to do. i'm not that crazy about it. i rarely use my money that gets deposited in my savings. I end up using the card associated with our joint account to make most of my purchases. my husband gets mad about this because then i never pay back the joint account with my own savings money. i would rather have us use the joint account for everything. but i do agree that having the separate savings does help out around christmas (present buying) time.
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I want a joint checking account.. thinking, "My money is your money is my money" thing.
FI wants the joint account, but also seperate savings accounts for each of us. He says he wants to have our paychecks deposited in the joint account, then disperse them accordingly into savings. I was appauled at this at first, then I was ok with the idea, (thinking it would be easier to buy presents for each other!) but now I'm back to not really liking it. I think it's because FI has interests that are expensive... music. He has all these dreams for different guitars and amps and heads and other equipment. I guess I'm worried he will make big purchases w/o discussing them with me. That's not rational though b/c he talks to me now about that stuff.. What do you think?
How will you and FI handle your finances after the wedding?