(Closed) How are you handling finances after the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If it concerns you, you should talk to your FI again.  I’m sure he wants you to feel comfortable with how you two handle your money.  You don’t always have to be rational!  Maybe if he promises to continue to discuss big purchases with you in advance, you’ll feel better. 

We’re going to have our paychecks deposited into a joint account and then transfer a certain amount into separate accounts, which will be our own personal spending money.  We’ll each get the same amount of spending money, rather than a percentage of what we earn.  If we want to save up and make expensive purchases with our spending money, that’s fine, no need to discuss it first.  I think that by having the budget discussion together in advance, you’re clearly establishing that all money belongs to both of you.  You’re making a joint decision that each of you will have a certain amount of autonomy in your spending.

 

Post # 5
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

My law prof (he was great) for a Conflict and Resolution class told us that he and his wife have three accounts. Two separate checking accounts and a joint account that holds money for household expenses. If they want to buy something for themselves, it comes out of their personal and any household expenses they discuss. I think that sounds like a good idea because both of them work and have their money and household money set apart. For a couple where one stays at home and the other one works, I would think that a joint account and a separate savings would be good.

Post # 6
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We are opening a joint account but also keeping our own seperate accounts.  This will allow us to have some independence as far as how to spend our own money but create a collective place for the bill money to go.

Post # 8
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

Having your own account could also be used as an emergency fund if you don’t spend much..and you had to use the money from the separate account. It’s always good to have a back up plan

Post # 9
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I think we’re going to do the same thing… I think it’s a good idea, because my FI likes to go out to eat for lunch and buy random albums on itunes, but I’m much more of a saver. This way, he can go out to eat and buy his music without having to ask me or feeling guilty for spending “our” money.

Post # 10
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I like this idea too. We haven’t decided exactly yet but I like the idea of having somewhat separate accounts… precisely BECAUSE my FI has expensive interests. I feel like if we had one big pot the money was coming out of he would feel like he had more to spend… if he has a set amount of “play money” then it will help him budget. I definitely want us to have 1 joint checking, and two personal checking accounts… what I am undecided about is having 1 or 2 savings accounts. I’m leaning towards 1 but we’ll see what the Mr. wants 🙂

Post # 11
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We have completely joint finances except for credit cards.  I like the fact that we discuss larger purchases with each other but I understand how other couples might want to have their own little stash that they don’t have to be accountable for.

Post # 12
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

We have a mix of joint and separate accounts, and it works well for us. If your fi has an expensive hobby then it makes even more sense for you to both have your own “play money”, and that way you don’t need to worry about what he’s spending 🙂 We always figured, my fi didn’t want to be buying my shoes and I didn’t want to be buying his playstation games or computer parts!

Post # 13
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

The current plan is not to open any additional accounts. We are just going to add the other person to the accounts we have now. I have certain things drafted out of my accounts that would be a pain to have moved so I am keeping my account open. We already discuss major purchases now…especially things that need to be financed…b/c we know that in the long run, it will affect both of us.

Post # 14
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

We’re planning something similar to what your FI suggested.  Our pay will go into a joint account, with a set amount auto transferred into our individual accounts for whatever we want to spend it on.  The amount going into our indiv. accounts will be equal for both of us and based on how much discretionary income we actually have.  If we want to spend on something without needing to discuss/get approval, we are each free to do that with the amount we have in our indiv accounts.  If we want to buy something together, or buy something for ourselves but the other is ok with it, it can be bought out of the shared account.  I think this setup lets us maintain some independence… I am used to my independence and wouldn’t like having to hear what he thought/get the OK every time I wanted to get a pedicure or buy a purse or whatever.

Post # 15
Member
446 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The way we’re thinking of doing it is putting a percentage of our paychecks into a joint checking, another set percentage of our paychecks into a joint savings and then the remainder is to each their own, whatever they choose. The joint checking would be used for bills and other expenses like groceries and then lunches out or whatever would come from our remainders. Sounds good in theory… It’ll be awhile before it’s actually implemented.

Post # 16
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We actually have 3 joint accounts (and have had them for the past 5 years). One for bills, one for savings and emergency and one for random spending. It really works well for us because he used to have huge spending habits and me not so much and I always felt like if something went wrong (emergency) then it would come out of my savings/emergency. So we’ve compromised in our spending and come to respect the other person’s spending habits. He can’t depend on my savings habits, and he’s cut his spending down a bit (anything over $100 we have to discuss with the other person) and I have come to accept that he likes to spend more than I do. Bottom line, discuss it with him and do what makes YOU BOTH comfortable and happy.

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