HOW ARE YOU PAYING FOR YOUR WEDDING?

posted 2 years ago in 20 Something
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  • Post # 2
    Member
    6592 posts
    Bee Keeper

    The “average” cost of a wedding is skewed for a number of reasons, including nonrandom sample size and extremely expensive weddings raising the calculated mean. I refer you to this slate article. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/weddings/2013/06/average_wedding_cost_published

    I also think wedding costs could be better served for more important things. We’re paying for it ourselves with savings because we’re grown ups with relatively good jobs. However, FI’s parents have offered a rehearsal dinner, and my parents always offer to help in general. Our budget is just being frugal, but we’ll probably end up around $5k, excluding honeymoon (only because we haven’t really decided details about honeymoon). We’re able to keep costs down by being frugal people at baseline and by having a small, simple wedding to begin with.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1037 posts
    Bumble bee

    1. Who is paying for the wedding? (you, parents, in laws, other)

    We are. My parents just told us they’d contribute some to the cost of appetizers/finger foods and FI’s parents told us theyd like to contribute, but haven’t mentioned how much, so we arent including that yet.

    2. What is your wedding budget? Are you hoping to come in under budget?

    $4500, willing to go up to $5000 if we find rings we really like that are more expensive

    3. How are you paying? (Cash, credit cards, loan?)

    The reason we chose our budget is so we could easily pay it, a honeymoon, and the apartment deposit/furniture without going into debt. We are using our savings for it all. 

    3. What is your savings plan & how are you sticking to it? (i.e each take from weekly paycheck)

    We already have enough saved for everything, and the wedding is in March. So at this point we’re just saving as much as possible like we always do. We said we would eat out less, but that has yet to happen haha. We’re both pretty good at saving though. We have no debt and we thankfully have no expensive hobbies that require lots of money.

    4. What budgeting tricks are you using? (cutting guest list, all inclusive wedding package, vendor connections, etc)

    We wanted initially to have a small wedding to save money. However we made our “must invite” list and it was over 100 people. So we just decided to make it bigger and have a later night wedding to just have appetizers/dessert buffet instead of a dinner for 120 people. We have a friend who is a photographer and offered to do it for us, and i have friends who have asked how they can help day-of, so theyll help us with set up and take down. We chose a venue that is $910 for 7 hours and includes tables and chairs (but not linens unfortunately) and doesn’t require a certain caterer. And I don’t want to spend that much on a one time dress, so my budget for that is $300. If I can’t find a gown under that amount, I’ll use a thrift store dress I found for $17 that fits me perfectly already and just needs a sash or belt to make it prettier.

    <br style=”box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-height: 1000000px;” />And no, the budget doesn’t include honeymoon. We have a budget of $4000 for that, but my parents did offer generously to pay for our flights, so that helps! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2580 posts
    Sugar bee

    We are eloping and paying for every dollar ourselvesm I figure we will spend 15,000 not including rings.  We will probably pay for it in cash as we go.

    Post # 5
    Member
    43 posts
    Newbee

    lololovely:  

    1. As it stands right now, we are paying for the entire event. MIL hasn’t offered to help. My Mom is gone and my Dad is unfortunately not financially stable

    2.What is your wedding budget? Are you hoping to come in under budget? Budget is $20,000 for 125 guests. Right now our actuals are about $7,000 less!!! 🙂

    3. How are you paying? (Cash, credit cards, loan?) all cash… No loans, no CC. Don’t want to start our marriage in debt

    4. What is your savings plan & how are you sticking to it? (i.e each take from weekly paycheck) Don’t really have a plan. I do budgets for a career so I’m just a strict person on money. I pay all the everyday bills so it’s easier to keep track and stash money in our wedding jug!

    5. What budgeting tricks are you using? (cutting guest list, all inclusive wedding package, vendor connections, etc) Also, does your wedding budget include the honeymoon? Our awesome venue allows us to bring our own alcohol which saved us about $2,000. My dress was $1,000 less than budgeted and simply by luck that I fell in love with a sale item. The venue has all the decor to rent for $75 so I don’t have to worry about those expenses, another $500 saved…. 

    We we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck but luckily I earn quarterly bonuses so it has helped a TON!!! 

    GOOD LUCK. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2455 posts
    Buzzing bee

    lololovely:  

    1. Who is paying for the wedding? (you, parents, in laws, other): Just us

    2. What is your wedding budget? Are you hoping to come in under budget? About $6K. Including honeymoon.

    3. How are you paying? (Cash, credit cards, loan?): Cash

    3. What is your savings plan & how are you sticking to it? (i.e each take from weekly paycheck): Saving over the course of our engagement (18 months), and buying periodically. We’re having a super small 25 person, dinner-at-a-restaurant wedding. It’ll be sweet and intimate and exactly what we want!

    4. What budgeting tricks are you using? (cutting guest list, all inclusive wedding package, vendor connections, etc): We are booking an all inclusive honeymoon, having a very small immediate family only guest list. Since we’ll be having dinner at a restaurant we wont need decor, DJs, centerpieces or any of that jazz. At this point I don’t think we’re even getting a photographer.

    We’re 25 and 27 also. He’ll be 28 by the wedding. We don’t own a house yet but we aren’t planning to buy for a few years anyway. The ceremony itself should only be around $3K including our attire, rings, license, and all that. The venue (church) is free to members, and the officient is free, though we will be giving him a gift/donation.

    Then the dinner for 20 people will be around $1,000 including alcohol but we’re prepared to go over for people to have a good time. 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    137 posts
    Blushing bee

    My FI and I are paying for the wedding. I will have finished grad school and working, plus I have a side hustle with ebay. My mother has told me she wants to contribute, so she can invite some people she wants to my wedding. Years ago, I had a runin with her sister or my aunt and I refuse to have that woman five feet in my presence. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    My fiancée is turning 28 I am turning 23 and he will be nearly 30 when we get married! My fiancé is a biomedical engineer and has been working for about 4.5 years and has worked for 3 different companies and the least he has ever made is 75,000 with the being said he has tons of money saved and no debt. He already owns a home and has investments and zero student loans. he will be contributing between 25,000 to 30,000 for our wedding and it will be cash. 

    My mother is giving another 25,000. Cash also. 

    i want to come under budget and be able to use the rest towards upgrading my car or something. The budget does not include the rings but does include the honeymoon. To stick to my goal of not spending more than 40,000 I am keeping my guest list to no more than 125. That is non negotiable. We are budgeting about 10,000 for my wedding bands and his. 

    Our saving plan is simply not to take in more debt and my fiancee has about 3,000 left over monthly after his expenses. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - On the Beach in Negril, Jamaica

    lololovely:  I’m 27 and my FI is 28, we’re paying for our own wedding as well. We had orginally decided on a venue that would have put our wedding in the $30K+ range as well. We put the deposit down and began planning. Before our first major installement, we decided that we didn’t want the big lavish wedding we originally thought we wanted. We cancelled the venue and took the hit of losing the deposit. We discovered that for 15K we could do something entirely different, but would feel much more intimate and more along the lines of what we both wanted in a wedding.

    We decided on a destination wedding in Costa Rica. For insurance purposes and after finding out that it would take 3 months for the wedding to actually be legal in the states, we wanted to get married in the court house before we went. Our minister is going to be a really good friend of mine and offered to do a small ceremony for us if we wished then again doing our ceremony in CR. We decided since we have over acre for a back yard to just do the small ceremony there for the close friends and family that can’t attend in Costa Rica. His family wouldn’t be able to make the trip and would end up missing the wedding otherwise. I know how important it is to them to be there and am trying to do my best to accomadate them as well.

    I have an uncle that cooks in cook offs all over South Texas, so he’s offering to cook the food as a wedding gift and we’ll cover his hotel stay for him and his wife. My FI’s mother works in a bakery and has offered to make the cake and additional sweets. I was able to find colums and an archway that can be decorated, as well as tables and chairs with table cloths and covers for a VERY good price from a local company. I found a way to make a dancefloor for around $300 and it can break down and be put away for future parties or get togethers, which we do often. One of my BM’s mother is a florist and is giving me flowers at cost as well. I know many DJ’s and bands that play locally and are more than willing to play for free. With the help of family and friends we’re going to be able to put together a backyard wedding.

    We pull money out of every paycheck for these expenses and I buy things that we need here and there when we have extra money to spend. I bought my dress months ago with money that we already had in savings, so that is no longer an issue, but they did offer a payment plan if needed. We’re planning on saving enough to pay for everything needed, but have credit cards just in case. It will include the honeymoon as well.

    As far as the guest list goes, we’re only inviting the people that we actually speak to. Hardest part was trying to keep my mother happy. Once I realized that it’s my day not hers, everything became much easier.

    After everything is said and done we’re looking at only spending between $12K – $15K. Much easier to look at than what we had originally planned. That’s with $4K being the ceremony and 10 day stay for our honeymoon in Costa Rica. That’s not including the cost of the dress or rings. We went thru a family jeweler that gave us a 30% discount on each piece we purchased. On my wedding band, I had an old ring I was never going to wear again and traded it in. With the discount + what he gave me for the ring (he’s also an appraiser) it took $1,000 off and left a remaining balance of only $437. He saved us a couple thousand on my engagement ring as well. 

    Sorry it’s so long, but I hope this helps.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    lololovely:  

    1.  We are paying ourselves

    2. No real budget 

    3. Cash 

    4. We put aside X amount plus whatever extra we happen to make that month

    5. For cost-cutting tricks, so far we have: 

    -Thermography over engraving for invitations since they are mounted to a pocketfold (you can tell the difference based on the back of the invitation, and since people can’t see the back anyway we skipped engraving since it wasn’t worth it in our opinion)

    -I am semi-DIY-ing the invitation suite, I desigined everything and had them printed using thermography like I said, I will be assembling everything myself rather than buying it pre-assembled 

    -I buy what I can on ebay as long as it is in “new” or “like new” condition, that has saved a bunch so far and most of what I bought on there was brand new anyway 

    -Coupon! We got FI’s suit (actually two) with a coupon, I felt like we practically stole them since they were so cheap after the coupon 

    -Pay for things on credit cards then pay them off in full that month, we buy almost all of our flights using points and/or miles, which helps keep costs down (and helps keep credit scores high!)

    Also, this one isn’t so much a “trick” as it is a preference.  Brand names aren’t really important to me, so I got both my wedding dress and reception dress at David’s Bridal even though we had the money for much more expensive/”brand name” dresses.  I found dresses I loved (they’re made beautifully) and couldn’t rationalize spending a few thousand on a dress I was only ever going to wear for a few hours.  I’m not saying David’s is a “cheap” place to get dresses (some are over $1500) but for the ones I found I only paid a few hundred each.  I would also recommend checking out pre-owned dresses in order to save some $, as long as they aren’t stained or ripped no one will ever know the difference.  

    Post # 11
    Member
    710 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    We are paying for most of it. Between my parent they have volunteered 2500 out of our 10-12000 budget. Unfortunately I’m spending 2000 of that on getting my wisdom teeth removed.

    We are paying cash. No loans or credit cards. I’m not going into debt for this 

    We put 500away each month or as much as possible.my rule is I don’t take money out of that account unless it’s an emergency. Vet bills and stuff. It doesn’t happen often.

    My aunt is a florist and doing flowers as a gift. My friend is a photographer and doing them cheap which helps. I found a cheap venue which we love. I got my dress second hand for over half price. But I’m also not super girly I haven’t dreamt of this day since I was young so I’m not going crazy with decorations (my venue is all Windows with this amazing view anyway)

    Post # 12
    Member
    942 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    My DH and I are 21 years old. I’m in graduate school full time and work part time (30 hrs per week). My DH is in school part time and works more than full time.

    1. Who is paying for the wedding? (you, parents, in laws, other)

    My parents paid for most of it. We paid for the honeymoon (a cruise and a weekend in Disney), his attire, rings, and counseling (PreCana).

    2. What is your wedding budget? Are you hoping to come in under budget?

    My parents was about $6.5k. Ours was $2k. We both spent a little more than anticipated. We ended up paying about $2.5k.

    3. How are you paying? (Cash, credit cards, loan?)

    Cash.

    3. What is your savings plan & how are you sticking to it? (i.e each take from weekly paycheck)

    I paid in one lump sum from my savings account. My DH took $100 a month from his paychecks. We’re major savers so it wasn’t too challenging for us, even though we don’t make that much money.

    4. What budgeting tricks are you using? (cutting guest list, all inclusive wedding package, vendor connections, etc)

    Smaller guest list than many NJ weddings (85 guests), used a lot of friendors, won our photography and only paid for extra hours, a lot of DIY, had it at a community hall rather than a traditional venue

    Post # 14
    Member
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    We are eloping on Daydream Island, paying for it all ourselves and having a honeymoon at the same time. We are taking our daughter with us.

    We are paying cash, my partner is putting his tax return towards it by paying the deposit and the rest we will save up and pay for other things as we go along. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic

    We are paying for most of the wedding ourselve. My mom is paying for the catering and his dad is planning to guve us like $2,000. since the day he proposed we have been saving  $200 every two week, thats the minimu. If we have extra money we save it too. Since we have a 2 year engagemen between the money we have saved, his dad’s $2,000, and our tax return, we should have like $15,000 cash saved up. I think we’ll spend like $8,000 tops in our wedding, that does not include our honeymoon or our wedding rings.  Is going to be in Dominican Republic and I’m dominican so I know the prices and everything. Most of the thing are very cheap there when converted to our currency. The food, drinks, and labor is really cheap.

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