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ha ha.. when i sent out save the dates, only about 20 of them made it to their original destination!! and still am having 125 people. i secretly wished some wouldn't be able to make it... but sent out less invitations that i did std's and now i'm gonna have a packed house!
I only sent STDs (hehe, still funny) to family and out of town guests.
Save-the-dates are not "necessary" so it can't be rude to not send them to people you invite. It would be rude to send STDs to people and then not invite them. I might also worry about people not getting a STD, knowing people who did get one, and assuming they aren't invited (that sort of thing). But really, even in that situation, getting an invite after all would just be a nice surprise. So go for it!
Definitely don't think it's a big deal! We have some people that we still haven't decided whether or not they'll be invited, so we're only sending STDs to those we KNOW we will invite.
That makes perfect sense. We did not send out Save the Dates at all... but I wrote letters to the family members on our side who lived far away or whom I knew were super involved in their careers.
I have to say, that I only sent save the dates to some people -- but not for the exact same reason.
I didn't send to people who were on my B-list of invitees (who aren't really B-list FRIENDS, but its a pretty small wedding, and the "must invite" family is kind of taking up a lot of room), and people who I know would TALK to those people and drop something about the STDs once they did get them.
It's totally reasonable and I think STDs aren't necessary in the first place, so who cares if a few people didnt get them, as long as you send the invites out at a normal time.
I think it's totally fine, and I did it myself. The only thing- you have to send one to everyone who might talk to each other. For example, don't do some cousins but not others if there's a chance they'll talk or get together before the wedding and it could come up in conversation. You don't want anyone to realize STDs were sent but they weren't included. If you do it right, those not getting one will just thing you didn't send them.
We only sent save the dates to out of town people. We were still making final decisions about in-town people and we also wanted to get some feedback from extended family and such to try to guess our numbers better.
Just don't make a big deal about it, no facebook statuses, etc. ;)
Not a big deal!! In fact, I highly recommend doing only some guests, rather than all! We, sadly, sent them to everyone and are now stuck with a huge guest list :( There were def people on our list who a year later, it would not have been a big deal to cut but since we had sent them a Save The Date, it would be incredibly rude not to send them an invite...Only send out the STD's to those you are 100% sure you want to invite!
I think it's not "just fine" but also not "horrible." You just need to be careful. A few of ours didn't get delivered (thanks USPS) and one person in particular was REALLY upset, thinking it meant she wasn't invited. I'd make sure certain GROUPS are sent them or not. Groups that do not interact.
Really isn't a Save the Date a heads up of sorts anyway and if there are people that it wouldn't break your heart not to have there then it doesn't matter just a regular invite should be just fine!
We only sent out Save the Dates to family members and close family friends. They are NOT a necessity, no matter what the Knot says. We didn't bother sending them to people in our immediate social circle of friends, because we talk with them constantly, and most of them are internet savvy.
We sent them to almost everybody. The one thing that we did was sending them to each "family". I have a lot of college age cousins so we decided instead of sending them to every person that didn't live at home to do a family one to the parents. I figured most of them would see them at their parents. I addressed the envelopes as "Joe and Jane Smith and family". FI got a little backlash about this yesterday, but I think what we did was fine.
oh whoops! I think i misread...i dont think its a big deal at all...but I put awful really tacky! I thought you meant sending out save the dates but not inviting the people you sent the save the dates to. haha. I think thats fine!
We sent them to family, close friends, and out-of-towners. There were some people we weren't sure if we'd have room for on the guest list that we didn't send them to. Our save the date had engagement pictures on them including one of us kissing, so we didn't send it to people like my FI's boss because we thought it'd be weird for him to get a picture like that.
My Dad joked about sending "Don't Save the Dates" to relatives we were only obligated to invited, but didn't necessarily want to show.
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I'm thinking of only sending some of the guests save-the-dates, only the people we most want there, who live the farthest away. I'm secretly hoping that some people won't who don't get save-the-dates won't come...